It feels like sabotage!!

[S@ssen@ch 745]

I don't see this as intentional sabotage.

I have someone in my life who has difficulty showing affection and they use food to show me they care. Is it possible that this is what your mother is doing? You said she's a fantastic cook and baker.

Maybe you need to have a heart-to-heart with your mom. Reassure her that you know she loves you, but that right now you need her support in other ways.

[FluffySaysForkIt! 823]

Well, I might try killing it with kindness.

Tell your Mom that you are so excited right now to be on the same journey she went on two years ago. Explain to her that she has been SUCH an inspiration to you, that HER weightloss has been very motivating and that you are proud of HER. Tell her how much you admire the choice(S) she made to get healthy, and that it helped you want to get there too.

THEN flip the switch a bit and ask for her help. Tell her you need her support in this, not just for you but for her Granddaughter. Be honest and explain that these food items, while awesome and made with love, are just not good for you now. Ask if she will help you find healthy alternatives. Tell her you need her to put those awesome cooking skills to work in ways that will help you succeed. Maybe even ask if she will cook WITH you, if that is something you would like.

Moms love to be needed, and nothing is better than helping your "baby". If she sees herself as your role model and has a way to help you it may work for you both. You get real support and healthy food. She gets to feel needed, admired and, if she is backsliding into bad food choices, a great reason to stay on a better path. 💙

[BlueAngelEyes 164]

21 hours ago, MzTrip said:

My mom was sleeved 2 years ago in September. I was sleeved this year May 21. My mom has always been an incredible cook and baker. We come from a long line of Sicilian women who love to cook and eat. This surgery has for sure changed her life and how she cooks and bakes and I've only just started figuring all of this stuff out. Tell me why, though, she will not only bring the not-so-bariatric-friendly food she makes to my house but on top of that bake me a whole loaf of banana bread? ??? She knows it's my favorite so that's nice of her but a whole loaf? I have a 13 year old who is obese and I've changed her diet as well. My mom knows all of these things. She said, "You can have a little piece and it won't hurt you. After that use self-control." Sigh... I ate a little piece of it. IT MADE ME VOMIT so I suppose self-control won't be an issue. I never want to see banana bread again. I've been sick all day. It's not the first time she has done this kind of thing. I just don't know why she does it. I don't understand why she doesn't remember the beginning of her journey. Why would she even want to tempt me or my daughter? I have even talked to her about it. Okay, I'm sorry. Rant over. I just really needed to vent to some people who may understand my frustration. I am, too, disappointed in myself.
Sent from my Z965 using BariatricPal mobile app

My mother did the same thing to me last week. She brought homemade banana nut bread and chocolate chip Cookies to my house. It was nice but she wasnt thinking. She knew i give in alittle with my temptations of food. Its the way my mom is i just dont take things to personal anymore and let it go cause shes alittle bit of a beautiful airhead like myself. Like mother like daughter is how i start noticing in myself. Lol.

[Frustr8 7,886]

My diagnosis: a control thing- by sabatoging you she wins- and it's "Poor Rosemary", to all her friends, " I warned her" We Sicilian aren't built for THOSE POOR DIETS- THAT RADICAL A SURGERY- We were meant by GOD to eat healthy home- cooked FOOD!" Nonna wins , YOU lose, and in her ❤, all is WELL. Meanwhile there you are , nauseous on the sidelines, wondering why your own mother acts this way? And I believe you're trying your best, for yourself and trying to be a good example for your Daughter, but her fine Italian thumb is right on top of you again! How do I know this? A long life and although I'm as American as Hot Dogs and Apple Pie, on my street were Italian neighbor Mamas, 2 streets over were the Greeks , and between Pasta and moussaka, and Paczi from the Polish Mamas the other direction, I became a Dietary Delinquent at an Early Age and now at 73 I'm still shedding the weight!
Finally, You know how you now feel about Banana bread? I'm 10 going on 11 months out, someone made me what they called an Healthy smoothie, put a Banana in it, same General Body Reaction, Maybe the Yellow fruit and I will never be Friends Again! Sad, before my surgery they had much A-Peel for Me, just couldn't resist a Pun There!
Much Love, Much Sympathy because I have been" food- repulsed" also 😣✋😛

[MzTrip 52]

My diagnosis: a control thing- by sabatoging you she wins- and it's "Poor Rosemary", to all her friends, " I warned her" We Sicilian aren't built for THOSE POOR DIETS- THAT RADICAL A SURGERY- We were meant by GOD to eat healthy home- cooked FOOD!" Nonna wins , YOU lose, and in her [emoji173], all is WELL. Meanwhile there you are , nauseous on the sidelines, wondering why your own mother acts this way? And I believe you're trying your best, for yourself and trying to be a good example for your Daughter, but her fine Italian thumb is right on top of you again! How do I know this? A long life and although I'm as American as Hot Dogs and Apple Pie, on my street were Italian neighbor Mamas, 2 streets over were the Greeks , and between Pasta and moussaka, and Paczi from the Polish Mamas the other direction, I became a Dietary Delinquent at an Early Age and now at 73 I'm still shedding the weight!
Finally, You know how you now feel about banana bread? I'm 10 going on 11 months out, someone made me what they called an Healthy smoothie, put a Banana in it, same General Body Reaction, Maybe the Yellow fruit and I will never be Friends Again! Sad, before my surgery they had much A-Peel for Me, just couldn't resist a Pun There!
Much Love, Much Sympathy because I have been" food- repulsed" also [emoji21][emoji113][emoji14]

Wow! That's a lot of food for thought... I love puns [emoji7] In all seriousness, though, it really is. In great ways. You have incredible energy. [emoji4] Thank you!

Sent from my Z965 using BariatricPal mobile app

[MzTrip 52]

Is she still thin? Maybe she's reverting to old eating habits and subconsciously wants to make you into her?
Throw it out or give it away. Have the talk.
((hugs))

You know what? She does keep saying she has this extra 10 pounds that she has to lose again but I never gave it much thought. I just figured weight fluctuates.

Sent from my Z965 using BariatricPal mobile app

[MzTrip 52]

That's different considering she's been there, done that. Give it to a neighbor and don't eat it. Have the "You need to be supportive" talk with her again.

Yeah I definitely need to talk to her and definitely don't need to eat it or have it in my house. My boyfriend ended up eating it [emoji53] but he needs to eat right as well. I've been excited about the way my family eats the last few months. Even proud. My daughter lost 10 pounds. She should get all of this. I'll try again.

Sent from my Z965 using BariatricPal mobile app

[MzTrip 52]

Is she jealous that the attention might be shifting to you, now that her weight loss is “old news”?

I really don't know. How sad is that? I wouldn't like to think so but who even knows besides her.

Sent from my Z965 using BariatricPal mobile app

[MzTrip 52]

Well, I might try killing it with kindness.
Tell your Mom that you are so excited right now to be on the same journey she went on two years ago. Explain to her that she has been SUCH an inspiration to you, that HER weightloss has been very motivating and that you are proud of HER. Tell her how much you admire the choice(S) she made to get healthy, and that it helped you want to get there too.
THEN flip the switch a bit and ask for her help. Tell her you need her support in this, not just for you but for her Granddaughter. Be honest and explain that these food items, while awesome and made with love, are just not good for you now. Ask if she will help you find healthy alternatives. Tell her you need her to put those awesome cooking skills to work in ways that will help you succeed. Maybe even ask if she will cook WITH you, if that is something you would like.
Moms love to be needed, and nothing is better than helping your "baby". If she sees herself as your role model and has a way to help you it may work for you both. You get real support and healthy food. She gets to feel needed, admired and, if she is backsliding into bad food choices, a great reason to stay on a better path. [emoji170]

Wow!!!!!! She would COMPLETELY LOVE if I did these things. It would probably work, too! Thank you! [emoji171]

Sent from my Z965 using BariatricPal mobile app

[MzTrip 52]

My mother did the same thing to me last week. She brought homemade banana nut bread and chocolate chip Cookies to my house. It was nice but she wasnt thinking. She knew i give in alittle with my temptations of food. Its the way my mom is i just dont take things to personal anymore and let it go cause shes alittle bit of a beautiful airhead like myself. Like mother like daughter is how i start noticing in myself. Lol.

[emoji171] beautiful airhead [emoji4] awww that just made me smile.

Sent from my Z965 using BariatricPal mobile app