REGRET

[CrystalV 25]

1 hour ago, lyladyp said:

PLEASE KNOW THAT YOUR ARE NOT ALONE! The first week, I kept asking myself so many questions: Was this really necessary? Why could I have not just lost the weight on my own? What have I done to my body? What comes next? Who should I tell and what are they going to say when I tell them?

It has been 7 weeks and honestly, I do feel a lot better but I still question my sanity when I think about the actual procedure and what was done to my body. My husband, children and sister know but I still have not told my parents. This is because they have their own minor medical issues and if I am being really honest, I did not want to hear their opinions or try to change my mind and I am 40. I know they love me but if I have to hear that "you are never going to be a small person" or something about "family genetics" again I am going to scream. It is not about being small but being healthy- yes ultimately being smaller is a welcomed side effect but overall the goal is to be healthy and happy with ourselves. In the end, I know they are supportive in their own way and eventually I will them.

I think once you are home, over the initial hump and able to eat a normal modified diet, your feelings will somewhat subside. When I woke up in the hospital, I was crying to my husband and told him he did not need to be there if he didn't really want to help - it was a mess. Now, I realize I was just a little overwhelmed about the entire process. Finding this board has been really helpful because any question I have, I can always research and find it here. I wish I would have found it several months ago. But continue taking your meds and speaking to your therapist and know that it will definitely get better a little at a time.

Thank you. Honestly, I was over all healthy to begin with besides having a BMI of 41. I exercised regularly. I did have high bp. I’m so vain. I wanted this to be thin.

Plus, I used money from refinancing our home to pay for the surgery. So many times over I have wished my husband wasn’t on board and would have told me no.

I knew the diet diet would be difficult but it is way more challenging than I thought.

i am glad you are doing better.

[rs 1,473]

Agree with others... It does get better! I too had buyer's remorse the first few weeks. Consumed by pain physically, mentally, emotionally. Over time it improved more and more. And as I watch the pounds come off, and am buying smaller and smaller clothes sizes, I actually don't mind looking at myself in the mirror and I like what I see! At almost one year post op I'm at 163, with starting weight. Feeling so much better than that first month. Good luck to those of you struggling just after surgery. Hang in there!

[CrystalV 25]

4 hours ago, rs said:

Agree with others... It does get better! I too had buyer's remorse the first few weeks. Consumed by pain physically, mentally, emotionally. Over time it improved more and more. And as I watch the pounds come off, and am buying smaller and smaller clothes sizes, I actually don't mind looking at myself in the mirror and I like what I see! At almost one year post op I'm at 163, with starting weight. Feeling so much better than that first month. Good luck to those of you struggling just after surgery. Hang in there!

Thanks. I am hoping soon this will go away.

[MLB357 58]

If my two cents is worth anything, I would say definitely continue with the therapy. Then maybe try writing your non-scale victories (NSV) in a notebook. Maybe as you see the list of NSV's increase it will help you recognize the benefits of the surgery from the health and lifestyle aspect.

" Keep the faith, for this too shall pass"

[CrystalV 25]

7 hours ago, MLB357 said:

If my two cents is worth anything, I would say definitely continue with the therapy. Then maybe try writing your non-scale victories (NSV) in a notebook. Maybe as you see the list of NSV's increase it will help you recognize the benefits of the surgery from the health and lifestyle aspect.

" Keep the faith, for this too shall pass"

Thank you. I am trying hard to work through the regret.

[nacfsu 8]

I am also one week out and cry every day about what I did . I felt so prepared before the surgery . I feel like reading all the message boards also messed with my mind ... so many horror stories , and it’s hard not to wonder if they will happen to you. It’s very very hard in the beginning .

[CrystalV 25]

4 minutes ago, nacfsu said:

I am also one week out and cry every day about what I did . I felt so prepared before the surgery . I feel like reading all the message boards also messed with my mind ... so many horror stories , and it’s hard not to wonder if they will happen to you. It’s very very hard in the beginning .

I am sorry you are going through this too. I am working hard with a therapist and going to a support group.

I wished I would have done more research and tried harder on my own. Now, I don’t feel like this was for me and I have to wake up everyday feeling this way. (Well, when I actually sleep. I’m having a hard time sleeping)

Praying for you.

[CrystalV 25]

7 minutes ago, nacfsu said:

I am also one week out and cry every day about what I did . I felt so prepared before the surgery . I feel like reading all the message boards also messed with my mind ... so many horror stories , and it’s hard not to wonder if they will happen to you. It’s very very hard in the beginning .

What surgery did you have?

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

@BlueAngelEyes you need to switch therapists, one that understands and isn't biased against wls patients - ask your bariatric team for a recommendation.

Hormones play a big part of your mental states right now, and this will jack with your perceptions and they will continue to bounce around during this process. Soon adding more exercise and getting better sleep will level these out.

All of you are thinking you are deprived because you have made food events a large part of your lives and now it has to change. It just has to or you will not succeed. I am not trying to be negative here, but these changes need to be permanent or you will gain weight back. Early in this journey you will naturally lose because of the severe restriction and the honeymoon period, even if you eat non-nutritious food. You will think -' hey I ate my Protein and I had some pizza and lost 8 pounds this week, this works'. Yes it does because of the honeymoon period. Don't let that be a slippery slope to indulge whenever you 'feel' like it - it's my brother's wedding, it's my friend's baby shower - I must Celebrate. NO, not with the food - enjoy the gifts, the decorations, the party part - food is secondary.

Everyone that has been obese is insulin resistent, and your body has spent years getting there. Some of you say you were healthy at 41BMI and I call BS. You were headed for diabetes and high blood pressure and sleep apnea, and compromising all your organs. The longer you keep grain carbs with no nutritional value and sugar out of your system the less you will crave them, and you will be free from this demon of ill health. I am not saying never, but build this early resolve to fix your health. You will be amazed, active, more energetic and happier.

And wanting to look healthy and cute is not vain. Don't beat yourself up over wanting to look good - you will feel even better. Hang in there.

[Momsspaghettipodcast 12]

This is actually something that seems to be pretty common. You're going to be okay. Someday, you may actually miss those first few months after surgery. Your hormones are trying to re-regulate. You're recovering from major surgery. Give yourself time to process all of this. It won't always be this strange.

Sent from my SM-G950U using BariatricPal mobile app

[CrystalV 25]

I am still in shock I had this major surgery! Why didn’t I realize what major surgery it was before?!??
I am working hard on moving forward.
Trying to get Protein in becoming a real struggle.

[Akeem 36]

Yes it’s all a mind fuck. But I’m not on insulin since surgery almost 6 weeks ago and that feels better than food tastes. Period.

[TattooedSeaStar 139]

BlueAngelEyes- get a new therapist! My GP wasn’t supportive so I fired him. Sorry, I don’t have time for that nonsense. It’s my life, my health and just because he can run a half marathon doesn’t mean he is the expert of massive weight loss!!

[Ren951 23]

I’ve already had slight buyers remorse when I think of random foods i probably will never eat the same again. Like nachos 😨 or deep dish 🍕. But I’ll take being healthy over that any day. I have to mentally snap back to reality. It’s a struggle.

[New&Improved 1,780]

On 7/3/2019 at 9:22 PM, CrystalV said:

This day last week I had the sleeve. I was totally content with my decision to have the surgery. Now, the second I woke up in the hospital I immediately regretted it. I have been an emotional roller coaster since then. I still could have backed out this day a week ago. I have replayed so many things over in my mind when I could have chosen to back out. My husband was/is fully supportive. But, so many times I wished he wouldn’t have been so I would have changed my mind. I have started taking anti depressants and talking with a therapist and trying a support group but it still isn’t working. I haven’t told anyone that I’ve done this(including family(my own mother).

Guilt, Shame, disappointed in my self. I literally hate myself for doing this.

Have any of you experienced this? I am trying hard to move past it.

thanks

I don't understand? What's there to feel bad about?

You made a decision to better yourself. Tp change your life and to get healthy.

You've made the right choice just take it day by day. It's not the end of the world.