Mentally prepare yourself before your surgery!!!

[hmwilcox578 33]

There has been something that has bothered me since my operation 5 years ago was my psychiatric visit pre-op. Like most of you I'm sure they're going to do this or have already done this you know the psychiatric evaluation consisted of a questionnaire and a second visit to discuss it now granted I am a psychologist and I kind of chalk this up to no one doctor to another in office but the first 15 minutes at my follow-up visit we just kind of chatted briefly just talked about the piece of paper that he had his hand that I filled out the questionnaire not one question to lie about it the rest of the time we sat and visited and talked about the treatment of borderline personality disorder and that's obviously unrelated but I just considered that you know if he felt I was going to have a problem he might have addressed it I didn't feel I was going to have a problem. However I went into this operation a very strong-willed individual I didn't have self-esteem problems I didn't have issues of that nature and a very strong personal sense of self. The problem began about three days in maybe four days when I was in so much pain realizing that gravity of the entire situation being at it was that I've never considered killing myself in my entire life I just never thought like that however on that night I remember sitting up in the couch cuz I couldn't lay down yet and was thinking of ways to pretty much into my life fortunately I was able to snap out of that really quick and move on and you know obviously nothing bad happened however I do worry about people that go into this not mentally prepared enough for this. If you're not a strong individual and you go into this operation and you're not mentally prepared it's going to be extremely difficult just try to make sure you understand the amount of pain and the amount of a commitment that you're going to go through. The doctors love to give you all the upsides and they kind of glossed over the downside quite a bit but they'll tell you oh it's going it's going to be that wonderful wonderful wonderful well you know what the reality is there's more to it than that so the biggest piece of advice that I can give anybody that's thinking of this operation is to just take pause just for a moment mentally prepare yourself for the first month to five years and just get ready because it's not that easy and don't let anyone try to tell you that this is the easy way out I still struggle everyday with my diet with trying to get enough fluids and still have a hard time processing the foods that I used to enjoy there are other concerns that you know I wasn't meant to prepare for that warm fuzzy feeling that you used to get from Thanksgiving dinner when you stress eat all that that's all gone after gastric bypass a friend of mine told me about that and I didn't believe him until I experienced it for myself so I just asked it please take a moment to gather your faculties and just mentally prepare yourself it's going to be okay in the long run and it will just follow up with the doctor say and you'll be fine do what they say but just mentally prepare yourself that's all I can add.

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[KarenLR75 515]

Many, many wise things in what you have shared. It's taken me 5 years to come to this decision. Previously I was not ready so I just read, studied, watched, learned. I feel despite how confident one is in their decision, hopefully after much soul searching, headwork, prep, etc. that 'theory' vs 'reality' is where the "rubber meets the road".

I noticed you had bypass surgery...i've spent countless hrs trying to cram info into my head about pros and cons of sleeve vs. bypass....I'm just curious..did you ever consider one over the other (and I know that no matter how many ppl are happy with whatever option they've chosen, it doesn't necessarily mean I will be...)?

[hmwilcox578 33]

Many, many wise things in what you have shared. It's taken me 5 years to come to this decision. Previously I was not ready so I just read, studied, watched, learned. I feel despite how confident one is in their decision, hopefully after much soul searching, headwork, prep, etc. that 'theory' vs 'reality' is where the "rubber meets the road".
I noticed you had bypass surgery...i've spent countless hrs trying to cram info into my head about pros and cons of sleeve vs. bypass....I'm just curious..did you ever consider one over the other (and I know that no matter how many ppl are happy with whatever option they've chosen, it doesn't necessarily mean I will be...)?

I initially was going to get the sleeve but my diabetes at the time was so far out of whack it was over a A1c of 12 at one point and having in-depth medical conversations with my surgeon about clinical trials and the like as it relates to gastric bypass or sleeves and diabetes with both of them having virtually the same outcome at 5 to 6 years post operation the only difference was in two weeks I was no longer going to be a diabetic so that's why I opted for the gastric bypass as opposed to sleeve and I literally was no longer a diabetic probably a week after the operation it was just gone and I sit around and eat candy all the time right now and I still continue to lose an extreme amount of weight I think the candy slows my weight loss down some honestly

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[MrsGamgee 756]

My program is 2 years from first orientation to surgery. As much as I found that length of time frustrating before surgery, I am thankful that they take the time they do. I don't think I would have been able to get through the past couple of months without the prep time I put in. My team (nurse, RD, mental health, surgeon, and internal medicine doc) really took the time to get to know me, and helped me prepare physically and mentally. They were able to call me on my crap when I needed it, and to help me past a few stumbling blocks (again, physically and mentally). They are still available to me now that I'm post op, even though I don't have official appointments until August for my 3 month check in.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Yes, it takes mental work and it comes in stages, some of it you cannot do ahead of time.

Reading about other people's issues helps to an extent for knowledge and awareness. Every individual has very personal experiences and different outcomes that you can't pre-prepare or even know about yourself.

But for me it was wonderful, my sugery recovery was great - I took pain meds at home once. I had to take it slow just like anyone, food stages seemed to take forever, Liquid Protein was sooo tiring and disgusting tasting but I got through it. I had slimes, some food came back up, I had a few food aversions, but most were not permanent. The journey has been good.

I still enjoy Thanksgiving, I still bake 7 pies, I make all the favorites and some new ones - roasted Brussels sprouts with gruyere cheese, yum! My warm fuzzies do not need to come from food. We started new traditions - we take a walk if the weather is nice and we play board games - can't wait to finish eating so we can do that. Make new warm fuzzies.

I love crossing my legs, I love noticing my collar bones, I love fitting into ANY booth, I love the energy ' I am 64 and need all I can get.

[justmetj 421]

12 minutes ago, Sosewsue61 said:

Yes, it takes mental work and it comes in stages, some of it you cannot do ahead of time.

Reading about other people's issues helps to an extent for knowledge and awareness. Every individual has very personal experiences and different outcomes that you can't pre-prepare or even know about yourself.

But for me it was wonderful, my sugery recovery was great - I took pain meds at home once. I had to take it slow just like anyone, food stages seemed to take forever, Liquid Protein was sooo tiring and disgusting tasting but I got through it. I had slimes, some food came back up, I had a few food aversions, but most were not permanent. The journey has been good.

I still enjoy Thanksgiving, I still bake 7 pies, I make all the favorites and some new ones - roasted Brussels sprouts with gruyere cheese, yum! My warm fuzzies do not need to come from food. We started new traditions - we take a walk if the weather is nice and we play board games - can't wait to finish eating so we can do that. Make new warm fuzzies.

I love crossing my legs, I love noticing my collar bones, I love fitting into ANY booth, I love the energy ' I am 64 and need all I can get.

I love this ⬆️ Very good advice 😊

[polly... 71]

21 hours ago, Sosewsue61 said:

Yes, it takes mental work and it comes in stages, some of it you cannot do ahead of time.

Reading about other people's issues helps to an extent for knowledge and awareness. Every individual has very personal experiences and different outcomes that you can't pre-prepare or even know about yourself.

But for me it was wonderful, my sugery recovery was great - I took pain meds at home once. I had to take it slow just like anyone, food stages seemed to take forever, Liquid Protein was sooo tiring and disgusting tasting but I got through it. I had slimes, some food came back up, I had a few food aversions, but most were not permanent. The journey has been good.

I still enjoy Thanksgiving, I still bake 7 pies, I make all the favorites and some new ones - roasted Brussels sprouts with gruyere cheese, yum! My warm fuzzies do not need to come from food. We started new traditions - we take a walk if the weather is nice and we play board games - can't wait to finish eating so we can do that. Make new warm fuzzies.

I love crossing my legs, I love noticing my collar bones, I love fitting into ANY booth, I love the energy ' I am 64 and need all I can get.

I love your well spoken words. So spot ON! Stages, can't do ahead of time, personal experiences, different outcomes.....all so true.

I adore that you have adapted, or diverted your life Around food. You still do the pies, because you enjoy it, and share that love. You're in such a good place, I'm so pleased. And I'd rather play board games than commiserate over food any day! I can tell you're good with where you are. Thank you for sharing, you help people like me.

[polly... 71]

It can't be communicated Enough to prepare yourself mentally and especially emotionally for WLS. Other preparations are necessary as well of course, but IMHO it's the mental/emotional prep that needs much more attention, by yourself, your current therapist if you have one, by the psychiatrist doing your evaluation, the other professionals involved in all aspects of your care, your family and your friends.

For an example, I'll use my journey. I had mental issues from childhood to now. Many but not all of us do. We're human. I was never fat until I was in my thirties, a direct result of using food to cope. Then, I became 373 pounds, thinking food was a soother, not the killer it became. I've been in therapy most of my life, many extreme successes and failures but I am a fighter and I never, almost ever, give up. With my decision to have RNY, I honestly thought I had covered Everything. All my ducks were in a row, I educated my arse off. "I am ready, let's get this started/over with!" I really was ready, save for a few hidden blank spots in my thought process. My psych eval was done by my current psychiatrist, he thought I was strong too. But in reality, the eval was just a skimming of only a few surfaces. He ok'd me with not enough digging. I was as open as possible, having been through this in therapy. But, sadly, many emotional issues were glazed over or not known at the time. I was 80% ready, the 20% that was left came back to kick my arse in the years since my operation. I struggled with that issue that many people underestimate, self esteem. Surely that paled in comparison to all the other issues I had and would encounter. I mean, self esteem, really? Psych 101. But after surgery, it ate me to pieces. I did not care about myself enough to stay moving forward after many months and slowly but surely I abandoned the whole after life of WLS. I convinced myself I wasn't worthy of the effort. I actually gave up, me, the so called fighter. I had demons that I couldn't deal with that I ultimately sabotaged myself. I was NOT ready or prepared after all.

The hospital stay after the RNY was profoundly traumatic. From the hospital refusing to give me my psych meds to nurse neglect ,horrible training and bedside manner, to the God awful, traumatizing pain I was in, in a psychiatric crisis at the same time! It was and still remains a horror. I just thought I'd stand up and say my hospital stay was very, very traumatic and I'm still trying to forget it.

People, there is no such thing as being fully prepared for life after WLS. Hidden issues, or blatantly obvious things can rise up and hamper your efforts, or like myself, kill them. Luckily I am in a much deeper understanding of myself now (years too late) and jumping full onto that bandwagon! NOW I know I can and WILL and have been successful at changing, me. I still know the in's and out's but know I have more to learn and experience. And I'm ok with that.

Don't be like me and fail the surgery and yourself. Dig as deep down inside as you are able, ask for help going even further and keep going. This is for life. Prepare yourself with every inch of your capability and yes, you can do it. Just be brutally honest and never give up.

[Krestel 330]

Dont know how to delete my post. Sorry.

Edited July 1, 2019 by Krestel

[New&Improved 1,780]

So true you have to be very strong willed.confident personality.you have to be completely self reliant as ONLY you can make this work.

You cannot make excuses once you have surgery.. I know someone who got surgery within 4 weeks of consultation... It happens..

[hmwilcox578 33]

Yes I actually considered all of the operations I had initially settled on the sleeve but after speaking one-on-one with my surgeon, and she was great by the way, my diabetes was so far out of whack that she swayed me into gastric bypass I had hoped that some of the Edition issues would be taking care of quicker with the bastard bypass as opposed to the sleeve which it did I was no longer at diabetic I don't know maybe 5-6 days after the operation but there are other challenges that come with complete bypass as opposed to sleeve operation in retrospect I suppose I did the right decision but it was not an easy one it all typically will matter on what your goals are and what you're willing to accept as far as additional Lifestyle Changes

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