Realizing just how fat I was...and still am

[Frustr8 7,886]

Every time I see your picture I sort of jerk, you look enough like me to be my son or grandson, imagine an older female version of you and you've seen me,probably could identify me in a line up! Strange, isn't it?

[Akeem 36]

It’s natural to feel that way. For myself instead of taking a compliment I find myself saying ohh but I have so much more to lose! Instead I should say thank you I have worked hard and will continue to do so! Congrats on your weight loss!

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

On 6/12/2019 at 11:56 AM, MikeIL said:

When I began this journey at the beginning of 2018 I was 426 pounds. Can't tell you measurements because all my clothes were in X's and not inches. But for reference, I was in a 5x shirt from Casual Male. I only wore sweatpants and those were also a 5x. People only saw me in clothes and the comment I often heard was that I carried my weight well. Being 6'1" I had the advantage of being tall and heavy vs short and heavy. It was all an illusion.

Medically I was prediabetic, on CPAP, could only sleep on my back, had knee pain and sweated like a frog fresh out of the pond in any weather over 72 degrees.

7 months post surgery and I am down 139 pounds. My A1C is 4, off the CPAP, I can sleep on my side, I can walk all day and not have knee pain...unfortunatley I still sweat a lot.

My physical appearance has changed in visible ways. Prior to surgery, I use to measure my weight loss and gain by how close I was to my steering wheel. If I was rubbing it then it was a bad week, if I could fit my hand between my belly and the wheel it was a good week (I avoided scales, I knew I was fat and honestly just wanted to get by in life). I look down at my steering wheel now and I see the marks where my belt scratched up the leather. Now there are a good 10 inches between me and the steering wheel. I can get in a car accident and not worry that the airbag is going to kill me.

I can see the weight loss in my face:



I also see the weight loss around my body. My shoulders are boney, my arms have lots of skin, my butt sags, the skin just hangs everywhere.

I'm down to a 2x and my waist is in a 50 pant which needs a belt. I hold these clothes out in front of me as I'm about to put them on and I say to myself, "There is no way this will fit me" or "Boy this is gonna look tight" and the clothes fits perfect. Not tight and hides my sag well.

Overall I don't want to sound like I'm not delighted, but I'm realizing just how large I was...and honestly still am.

I wish I were brave enough to take a photo so I could show you what I mean, but I can't believe after all this weight coming off I'm still so big. I sit and there is a huge belly still in my lap. My thighs are huge. Maybe as I continue to lose weight these two areas will decrease dramatically, but it seems like there must be 150 lbs there alone.

I never thought for a moment that after my surgery I was going to have a thin, fit beach body. I hoped though that it would be less fat looking when dressed and in public. I almost feel like I want to tell people "Yeah, but just half a year ago I was..."

7 months out and 139 down is phenomenal and noticeable.

A bit of perspective – Someone struggling with obesity at a higher BMI is wishing they were at your current weight. Have gratitude and know you are amazing.

Many of us have body issues. It may take self-help or counseling. It takes time for your mind to catch up with your rapid weight loss. It may become easier to see yourself correctly after goal and your weight settles.

Well done! keep going.

[allies journey 144]

When I began this journey at the beginning of 2018 I was 426 pounds. Can't tell you measurements because all my clothes were in X's and not inches. But for reference, I was in a 5x shirt from Casual Male. I only wore sweatpants and those were also a 5x. People only saw me in clothes and the comment I often heard was that I carried my weight well. Being 6'1" I had the advantage of being tall and heavy vs short and heavy. It was all an illusion.
Medically I was prediabetic, on CPAP, could only sleep on my back, had knee pain and sweated like a frog fresh out of the pond in any weather over 72 degrees.
7 months post surgery and I am down 139 pounds. My A1C is 4, off the CPAP, I can sleep on my side, I can walk all day and not have knee pain...unfortunatley I still sweat a lot.
My physical appearance has changed in visible ways. Prior to surgery, I use to measure my weight loss and gain by how close I was to my steering wheel. If I was rubbing it then it was a bad week, if I could fit my hand between my belly and the wheel it was a good week (I avoided scales, I knew I was fat and honestly just wanted to get by in life). I look down at my steering wheel now and I see the marks where my belt scratched up the leather. Now there are a good 10 inches between me and the steering wheel. I can get in a car accident and not worry that the airbag is going to kill me.
I can see the weight loss in my face:

I also see the weight loss around my body. My shoulders are boney, my arms have lots of skin, my butt sags, the skin just hangs everywhere.
I'm down to a 2x and my waist is in a 50 pant which needs a belt. I hold these clothes out in front of me as I'm about to put them on and I say to myself, "There is no way this will fit me" or "Boy this is gonna look tight" and the clothes fits perfect. Not tight and hides my sag well.
Overall I don't want to sound like I'm not delighted, but I'm realizing just how large I was...and honestly still am.
I wish I were brave enough to take a photo so I could show you what I mean, but I can't believe after all this weight coming off I'm still so big. I sit and there is a huge belly still in my lap. My thighs are huge. Maybe as I continue to lose weight these two areas will decrease dramatically, but it seems like there must be 150 lbs there alone.
I never thought for a moment that after my surgery I was going to have a thin, fit beach body. I hoped though that it would be less fat looking when dressed and in public. I almost feel like I want to tell people "Yeah, but just half a year ago I was..."

Omg you're such an inspiration..All of us know we are overweight I have a problem with the word fat.lol
But until like you we actually look at the size we were it's hard to really take it in.
You have lost a whole person and your doing great things for your health.
Those are absolutely amazing milestones.
You look awesome and should be proud of yourself!!
I don't know what your goal weight is but I would bet that you are at least at the halfway point.
Keep your eyes on the goal and keep your chin up!!
I am having the RNY REVISION SURGERY on July 16th. I had sleeve surgery will be 3 years ago October 25th. I lost 87 lbs and have arm skin enough for wings but I have severe GERD and it has gotten worse since the sleeve. I still want to lose at least 85 more lbs. Terrified of the hanging skin. But thankfully there's surgery for skin removal after losing all the weight.
With any luck my insurance companies will pay for at least part of it.
Anyway I wish you the best of luck with your journey.
Allie in SC

Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

[allies journey 144]

I totally understand , somehow what I thought a 70 lb. weight loss would look like doesn’t coincide with what I DO look like and obviously I am looking at how much longer I have to go instead of where I have come from. I also don’t believe it when people tell me how good I look . When someone compliments me I rattle off how much more I still have to go. I wish I could accept my success. Sometimes all I see is a wrinkly neck and sagging skin... but there are really good days as well.. is still never go back and the good way out weighs the bad. All we can do is change what we can and accept the flaws and not expect perfection .

I have learned the best response to the compliments that I don't think I deserve yet is to just say Thank you...

Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

[KarenLR75 515]

On 6/23/2019 at 6:07 PM, Frustr8 said:

I am about 25 pounds from my personal goal but already at the point Surgeon and his head Nurse-Practioner Valerie had judged enough. Well I am a tad peeved, they have not scheduled me another appointment until August 14th, I feel either they have turned their back on me or I am no longer of interest to them!

This!! This is what I worry about with doctor..initially I was a 'prospect' so lots of attentions and allusions to things being doable..but now I'm a 'customer'..no need to "court" me. It is wrong. Not sure how many ppl in your area but maybe another practice would appreciate you more. Doctors forget that having 'success stories' and ppl willing to reference, maybe even drop into a meeting of newbies....ya know?

[LynnV1964 134]

MikeIL...you are doing amazingly well with that loss! Always remember... you did not get over 400lbs in a few months. It will take awhile to get to where you want to be and can truly notice all the changes. Focus on how you feel and keep trying new things that you never could have done at your high weight!

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

On 6/12/2019 at 11:56 AM, MikeIL said:

When I began this journey at the beginning of 2018 I was 426 pounds. Can't tell you measurements because all my clothes were in X's and not inches. But for reference, I was in a 5x shirt from Casual Male. I only wore sweatpants and those were also a 5x. People only saw me in clothes and the comment I often heard was that I carried my weight well. Being 6'1" I had the advantage of being tall and heavy vs short and heavy. It was all an illusion.

Medically I was prediabetic, on CPAP, could only sleep on my back, had knee pain and sweated like a frog fresh out of the pond in any weather over 72 degrees.

7 months post surgery and I am down 139 pounds. My A1C is 4, off the CPAP, I can sleep on my side, I can walk all day and not have knee pain...unfortunatley I still sweat a lot.

My physical appearance has changed in visible ways. Prior to surgery, I use to measure my weight loss and gain by how close I was to my steering wheel. If I was rubbing it then it was a bad week, if I could fit my hand between my belly and the wheel it was a good week (I avoided scales, I knew I was fat and honestly just wanted to get by in life). I look down at my steering wheel now and I see the marks where my belt scratched up the leather. Now there are a good 10 inches between me and the steering wheel. I can get in a car accident and not worry that the airbag is going to kill me.

I can see the weight loss in my face:

I also see the weight loss around my body. My shoulders are boney, my arms have lots of skin, my butt sags, the skin just hangs everywhere.

I'm down to a 2x and my waist is in a 50 pant which needs a belt. I hold these clothes out in front of me as I'm about to put them on and I say to myself, "There is no way this will fit me" or "Boy this is gonna look tight" and the clothes fits perfect. Not tight and hides my sag well.

Overall I don't want to sound like I'm not delighted, but I'm realizing just how large I was...and honestly still am.

I wish I were brave enough to take a photo so I could show you what I mean, but I can't believe after all this weight coming off I'm still so big. I sit and there is a huge belly still in my lap. My thighs are huge. Maybe as I continue to lose weight these two areas will decrease dramatically, but it seems like there must be 150 lbs there alone.

I never thought for a moment that after my surgery I was going to have a thin, fit beach body. I hoped though that it would be less fat looking when dressed and in public. I almost feel like I want to tell people "Yeah, but just half a year ago I was..."

Again, well done and you look and are amazing!

Something I observed today,

I was talking with a group of women that have not had surgery. I had been obese for years and I remember how I felt when thinner people would complain about 10-20 pounds. I rolled my eyes because I had 100 pounds to lose. It’s amazing, heathy people also have body issues.

[MeanSleevedMachine 277]

I often feel this way too. I honestly think some of it is we do not see ourselves the way others do. I constantly lament to my wife about my “big belly” after losing over 240 pounds... I stand in disbelief that I still have a belly. A belly that looks huge to me now. She always shoots back “boy, you don’t have a belly anymore.”

I look at my clothes... my new clothes, and think there is no way this will fit me. Then it not only does, it is loose.

I honestly have the hardest time seeing myself as a non-fat person no matter how many people I love and trust that tell me otherwise. Logically and rationally I know I am smaller. You don’t lose as much as I do and not look smaller. So I know people aren’t lying to me.

It’s just... I was fat for so long and I still see myself as fat. So man, I understand where you are coming from. I’m just now getting to where I look at my photos and see real progress.

Unless you were morbidly obese it is really difficult to understand this. I get that. But it just goes to show that being morbidly obese affects more than just your physical health. It really damages you mentally too.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Keep up the good work Mike. You look awesome, and you sound like a nice man.

We all have trouble facing reality about our size. Take pictures and measurements so you can give yourself credit for your hard work. Take those compliments, you deserve them.

Good luck on the rest of your journey, there are many more wonderful surprises.

[Just4pj 6]

Keep it up, you are doing awesome. I often find myself replying the same way when people try to compliment me on my weight loss! I feel like I need to justify why I still have more to lose - or why I'm still overweight - I'm working on it!! It is waaay harder to just say Thank You!!

I do still have a long way to go - and worry that now that I have hit the 6 month post surgery mark - AND have had other health issues that are going to limit my ability to work out - my weight loss is going to drastically slow down, but if it does, I will deal with it - I will take one day at a time and Celebrate my success as it comes!

[jasmineinmymind 204]

I feel the same way. I feel like I'm at a decent weight now, meaning I'm not plus size anymore and I look a lot better than I did but my mind goes to the weight I still have to lose. I feel like I'm still fat and I cant just enjoy my success so far. I agree we all have some dysmorphia. Probably years of feeling like a failure. Its hard to get rid of those negative feelings. I think also, most of us lose weight and start to sag and get flabby in certain places and that makes the weight loss less positive. The loose skin is the biggest downside to weight loss for sure. One thing I can say...I gave my old clothes to a co worker who apparently was my size when I started and I CANT BELIEVE how big she looks. I had no idea I was that big. So I didnt know how fat I was in the beginning and I dont know how 'thin" I am now. I have a distorted image of myself apparently at every stage.

[Lynda486 784]

Mike,

You are doing fantastic, really! I felt the same way after my first surgery, and now when I look at pictures from then I can see how thin I had gotten. I also always gravitated towards the larger clothes section because I guess I wasn't convinced that I was losing weight! Keep up the good work!

[MikeIL 49]

I just passed my one year anniversary on the 12th.

[ms.sss 15,588]

Holy CRAP. You look GREAT. You must be feeling awesome! Congrats!!!!

P.S. Digging your shoes 😎