Lies to tell people about what surgery I am having

[GreenTealael 25,330]

I forgot to add my new favorite excuses:

I'm having-

+Vaginal/Testicular rejuvenation

+Anal sphincter repair

+Nipple restoration

[Livelychick 12]

There are lots of things that aren't legally required, but are expected as social norms. It's not realistic to stonewall everyone in your life and expect to have continued positive relationships with them. People are generally asking questions because they care on some level.

I said nothing about stonewalling everyone in his life. This is a work situation. If I say "I'm having a medical procedure and don't feel comfortable discussing it yet," that is a perfectly acceptable line. If the person pushes, they truly don't give a rat's patoot, as they are not honoring your wishes. They're likely nosy.

But-- if he did feel like saying that line to anyone, that's perfectly up to him and people should respect that. Not one friend or "social contract" should be lost. I chose carefully who I wanted to know based on many factors; every single person that I delivered that line to said "I understand."

Sent from my LG-LS993 using BariatricPal mobile app

[Livelychick 12]

I said nothing about stonewalling everyone in his life. This is a work situation. If I say "I'm having a medical procedure and don't feel comfortable discussing it yet," that is a perfectly acceptable line. If the person pushes, they truly don't give a rat's patoot, as they are not honoring your wishes. They're likely nosy.

But-- if he did feel like saying that line to anyone, that's perfectly up to him and people should respect that. Not one friend or "social contract" should be lost. I chose carefully who I wanted to know based on many factors; every single person that I delivered that line to said "I understand."

Sent from my LG-LS993 using BariatricPal mobile app

And it means that no lies are needed. My social norm is to not lie to those I care about.

Sent from my LG-LS993 using BariatricPal mobile app

[sillykitty 10,773]

In my opinion, and in my experience, it is better to have some explanation for time off, rapid weight loss, changed eating etc., whether it be the truth or a lie, then by using some form of "none of your business"

Even in a work environment, you form relationships on various levels. Shutting people out doesn't engender positive feelings or trust.

Take for example, my president saw my rapid weight loss, eating very small portions & not drinking. He asked me if I was ok, and what was going on. I could have told him some for of, "I don't want to talk about it". Realistically though, I may keep my privacy, but make him feel as though I don't find him trustworthy, and make him continue to worry about my health, and my ability to continue to do my job. None of those things are good for my career. Was he asking solely because he cares about me, of course not. But he has the right to be concerned about if my health was impacting my ability to be effective short or long term.

My point is, here is often a difference between what someone is obligated to do, and what is the best option.

[TX2NC 28]

I have a very select group of people that I have and will tell.
Hubs- obvs- he’s the greatest
Dad- Uber nonjudgemental and his whole family has struggled with weight, one of my aunts just had a sleeve.
2 local very close friends to help with kiddo transport/hub support
Boss- I work for a very small woman owned non-profit. They are super supportive and have told me to take all the time I need.

And that’s it! Not my mom, church friends, other friends/family, siblings.

Everyone else is being told I have to have my gallbladder removed if they ask. I will say it’s helpful that I live out of state from the rest of my family.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Livelychick said:

I said nothing about stonewalling everyone in his life. This is a work situation. If I say "I'm having a medical procedure and don't feel comfortable discussing it yet," that is a perfectly acceptable line. If the person pushes, they truly don't give a rat's patoot, as they are not honoring your wishes. They're likely nosy.

But-- if he did feel like saying that line to anyone, that's perfectly up to him and people should respect that. Not one friend or "social contract" should be lost. I chose carefully who I wanted to know based on many factors; every single person that I delivered that line to said "I understand."

Sent from my LG-LS993 using BariatricPal mobile app

Thanks for the kind words...…… ol girl did get kind of judgmental huh?? You need a mic drop emogi

[GreenTealael 25,330]

Alright, who was confused (emoji reaction) by my joke ???

Tough crowd...

😂

I've lied to a lot of people (and told the truth to a lot of people too) the people ive lied to don't for a minute believe the BS I've told them.

To my face they tell me i look wonderful but best believe they are talking about me behind my back wondering which terminal disease i have.

The people ive told the truth were thoroughly satisfied because the mystery was solved with no work on their ends. The truth is just easier to maintain.

Sherlock Syndrome. People suddenly become MI-5 when they can't figure something out. I have inboxes filled with "hey cuz, i hope all is well..."

I thought i was maintaining my privacy. People are nosier now more than ever because the weight is staying off and sadly thats not common.

Good Luck fellow fibbers ☺

Edited August 20, 2019 by GreenTealael

[LizzieMmmkay 38]

I had my gall bladder out a couple years ago. The scars do look similar to what would be seen after getting the sleeve done. I also have been debating what/who to tell after I have surgery. I get that it’s a bit harder being a firefighter... I hope that whatever you decide ends up working out for the best. Good luck! 🍀

[Frustr8 7,886]

Well you could say your Gall Bladder stump revised. Me , sometimes I can be goofy or a prankster- my last off the wall one
I'M HAVING THOSE BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH REMOVED- I can get away with it pretty good, because when you're over 70 who really knows what's in there? Of course I really should have used something like that in 2018 when I Did Have mine. Hindsight is 20/20, you know, but I was so durned glad to receive IT. I simply forgot to be flippant. And that's the TRUTH.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Michael S said:

Thanks for the kind words...…… ol girl did get kind of judgmental huh?? You need a mic drop emogi

I owe an apology to sillykitty. I should have not labeled her "judgmental" . I blame my lack of calories and not thinking straight.

[sillykitty 10,773]

5 minutes ago, Michael S said:

I owe an apology to sillykitty. I should have not labeled her "judgmental" . I blame my lack of calories and not thinking straight.

Thank you Michael (for the record I'm not old either )

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

Thank you Michael (for the record I'm not old either )

"ol" is a Southern thang, It does not mean old per se

[Stella S 612]

Each of us tried an approach that would allow best support on this journey. Room for many options. Between my sleeve and 3 additional surgeries i have taken over 17 weeks of leave since 2015. It’s meeting my employers needs while assuring coworkers it is not a big worry. Room for us to seek social support without social engagement from coworkers.

[AZhiker 2,252]

On 6/11/2019 at 5:24 AM, GradyCat said:

Hiatal hernia repair was my go-to choice excuse

I actually had a hiatal hernia repair during my RNY procedure, so it was an easy out for me! HH works. It is a good reason for the restriction and food intolerance during the healing process.

[Sherrischeffler 74]

Gallbladder for an excuse is good until it goes which usually happens after weight loss surgery