What is it with the superior 'oldies'!!

[losingjusme 12]

See that's the thing (I think).

I am out "Living my life" and when I do get some internet time, I don't want to be told that I couldn't possibly know what it's like to be overweight, or that it's OK for me to go out and exercise, because I am thin (how do 'ya think I got that way??)

That's why the self righteous, obnoxious, condescending "oldies" get pissed off and don't bother coming back.

back to the whole sitting on couch bon bons ... some (not all) of the newbies just dont get it.

"but im too fat to work out."

HOGWASH! i was on that flipping treadmill going 2.0 MPH at 390. i lived a sedentary life. how do you think i got up to 402.5 lbs???

after i got banded, i moved my ass and i ate well for about 90% of the time. was i perfect? nope. am i perfect now, nope... am i eating wrong things now. yup. am i losing? nope... who do i have to blame for it? ME. i am not going to go around bitching that i'm not losing weight.

[Chickie 15]

back to the whole sitting on couch bon bons ... some (not all) of the newbies just dont get it.

"but im too fat to work out."

HOGWASH! i was on that flipping treadmill going 2.0 MPH at 390. i lived a sedentary life. how do you think i got up to 402.5 lbs???

after i got banded, i moved my ass and i ate well for about 90% of the time. was i perfect? nope. am i perfect now, nope... am i eating wrong things now. yup. am i losing? nope... who do i have to blame for it? ME. i am not going to go around bitching that i'm not losing weight.

Oh, I get you. Trust me I do.

There was a thread, a long time ago, where I mentioned that in my pre band days my husband and I could eat 3 or more large pizza's, garlic bread and coke, and still not be full.

I got nothing but disbelief!

I was close on 300lbs. How the hell did I get to that weight without some serious over eating and lack of exercise?

It comes down to owning behaviours, accepting them and changing them (if need be)

[Wheetsin 714]

The difference in posts today vs. 1 month ago are amazing.

I've seen this a few times. I think the overall tone of the board always changes around this time of year. And for the next... 2 months or so. Why? No idea, but my guess - it's related to the coming of the new year and people trying to "get on track" for their Resolution. That or maybe just because it's open enrollment time.

[Wheetsin 714]

And you have to remember - there's a certain type of personality that's drawn to an area like RnR. Chances are that personality is the antithesis of your "typical" personality that's drawn toa support-based messageboard. Of course there is going to be some steam when the two collide. One is seeking virtual support and friendship, the other is seeking facts, experiences, information.

[kity 2]

I wanted to jump in here and offer my 2cents. I've been here since about Jan. 07. I've read, learned, researched, encouraged, succeeded and failed here. I've gotten some of the best advice from all of you who've posted, in this thread and many many others. I love LBT, the good, the bad, and the ugly. You've all served as an inspiration to me. Period, end of story. I know there is some "bad energy" going around right night. Whatever the reason...you all, the "oldies" as someone earlier coined you, keep on keepin on. Even though I have not interacted w/ many of you personally, I've gained so much from your insights. I am no where near goal, but I am proud of myself. And I owe a lot of my "new me" to all of you! :clap2:

[bandster_1007 1]

There were people that called me on my bad choices in the beginning. I didn't resent them for being honest with me. While I didn't like it I did respect it. I think that is a main issue here.

this is exactly how i feel. example: wasa told me plain and simple why i should not have eaten the Cookies. i didn't understand the squirming stomach (which believe it or not, i received a program via e-mail TODAY that i had to watch, and IT FINALLY told me about the squirming stomach $!#$! doctors) and told her my reasoning, and she explained it to me so that i could understand better. did i think she was acting "superior" hell no. was i upset that she told me the truth, you can slip your band, hell no. did some people feel the need to stick up for me because they thought i was being attacked, yes. but the truth is, i posted the fact that i cheated because i needed a swift kick in the head. and i should have saved the post, because wasa gave it to me. and i am deeply appreciative of it.

if i post, i expect the good, the bad, and if necessary the ugly, and that may be exactly what i need.

i have come to see that some people are very thin skinned. my feelings are not going to be hurt by someone's responses to my post. if all the member's of this forum were against me, then that means i need to re-analyze my position. otherwise, it is just one person's opinion. and we ask for it when we post.

[losingjusme 12]

and i should have saved the post, because wasa gave it to me. and i am deeply appreciative of it.

hi bandster - here is a link to Wasa's reply.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/im-cheating-already-44151/#post608101

[Jachut 487]

I've seen this a few times. I think the overall tone of the board always changes around this time of year. And for the next... 2 months or so. Why? No idea, but my guess - it's related to the coming of the new year and people trying to "get on track" for their Resolution. That or maybe just because it's open enrollment time.

I was just thinking about this in the car. The overall tone has dropped lately, a new influx of people, old people disappeared, I've seen a couple of generations since I've been here. It hasnt been very pleasant lately, but it always improves again. People find their groove and start to get on.

[pippinje 0]

Why is it that when people have been successful at something ie: losing weight with the band, they become the judge and jury of any person who is now coming up behind them. They seem to self proclaim themselves as 'better' than the 'others', in an elite group and in some instances more virtuous than the rest of us. What makes succeeding in weight loss the holy grail, and thus the people who achieve it more perfect, more intelligent and more entitled to an opinion? In my opinion it appears to have made people more obnoxious and self rightious,not to mention condescending.

But as I have not yet attained the 'holy-weight-loss-I-am-without-fault-and-know-everything' badge my opinion probably doesn't count.:faint:

I am a newbie and I find this thread offensive. What would a site be without the "oldies" as you call them. They share their experiences willingly and DO NOT HAVE TO DO SO. This is a networking site. If you come here for therapy, you are wasting your time. I have learned alot of things from reading the opinions of "oldies" and they are just that "opinions". If you don't like it, get over it. No one is here to hold your hand. It just makes me mad for someone to INTENTIONALLY post a thread to get the "oldies" giving their opinions because you somehow feel this is going to validate you posting it to begin with.

Let's all give our "oldies" a round of applause. Alot of us wouldn't make it without you. :clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2:

[LauraD 2]

So if there are none of y'all self absorbed, rude, obnoxious, successful "old-timers", who does the OP think will answer her questions?

When I did a liquid diet, I belonged to a liquid diet forum. Once a poster succeeded, they went away to the "maintenence" forum, and the rest of us lost the benefits of their experience. Hate to see something like that happen here. It's not necessarily PBs and sliming, it's tangible evidence that you can succeed 100% if you are willing to put in the work.

[georgia girl 35]

Why is it that when people have been successful at something ie: losing weight with the band, they become the judge and jury of any person who is now coming up behind them. They seem to self proclaim themselves as 'better' than the 'others', in an elite group and in some instances more virtuous than the rest of us. What makes succeeding in weight loss the holy grail, and thus the people who achieve it more perfect, more intelligent and more entitled to an opinion? In my opinion it appears to have made people more obnoxious and self rightious,not to mention condescending.

But as I have not yet attained the 'holy-weight-loss-I-am-without-fault-and-know-everything' badge my opinion probably doesn't count.:faint:

There is a simple solution to this, if you are tired of the "obnoxious, self-righteous, and condescending remarks", put them on your ignore list. No one forces you to read their advice. The thing that really irritates me is when someone starts a thread and at the end they say, "ANY information would be appreciated" or "ANY advice would be helpful", knowing full well all they want is someone to pamper them. I mean, do you really want the "oldies" to lie to us and tell us that it's okay we ate half of a pizza or 5 candy bars. I know I don't. I appreciate the time that they take out of THEIR lives to help US. Some of them have been going through this process for years, so yes, they are more knowledgable about the band than we are, through their experience. This is Lapbandtalk, not "Pampermetalk".

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

One issue I don't deny is that I have done one hellovajob. The reason I have done such a good job is because of the support here. People calling me on my own BS. People not letting me get by with excuses. Jacqui, Chickie, LosingJusMe, Jack, Julie, lots of people. Wayyyy too many to name. I shouldn't name any of them because I'm leaving out the majority.

I need this site. My goal is weight loss and by God, I did it. I honestly, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart... I don't think I could have done it without a few kicks in my behind at times. Sure, I give myself credit for the work, but I also give credit to those who kicked my behind when I wasn't doing things well. When I had questions about exercise, Jacqui was able to answer my questions. When I needed a reality reminder, Jack was there. When I had questions I was too embarrassed to ask in public about plastics... Julie. The list goes on and on. Then there was the time (in real time) that I went to dinner with an e-friend and I ordered what I KNEW I bloody couldn't eat and Denise excused herself to go take laps around the parking lot because I was stuck. The list is endless.

Sometimes I get frustrated and think I am going to leave LBT but the truth is, I need this place. I'm a newbie goal person. I still need the reminders and the support.

Wheetsin is great about making me remember there is a funny way to look at things. I look at my gut and think, "Old, dehydrated fugly dog gut" and she turns it around and instead of embarrassing and humiliating, it's suddenly funny. When I become frustrated and annoyed for ANY reason (thinking my banded friend here) LosingJusMe reminds me of how things are in the real world. When I am unsure of advice FaithMD reminds me that there are alternatives. The list goes on and on.

When I was banded I couldn't even tell my husband. Yeah, he didn't know. He went out of town on business and I went out of town to Mexico. There are things he just doesn't get. Folks here do. They get it. There are things I can discuss here and people understand exactly what I am referring to. My husband doesn't. Did I mention we are separated? It's not because of weight loss, but that is part of it.

There are just soooo many examples. Babygrl is another. When I am frustrated beyond words and trying sooo hard with a newbie, she puts it all in perspective and zaps me back to reality. People will do what they do. Period, the end.

When the patient coordinators are chasing me like a yapping dog because I dare to suggest that no one doc is the right doc for everyone and people should do their research, everyone jumps in and supports research. Well, the non patient coordinators do, anyway.

I need this place. That's the bottom line.

[She Smiles 2]

And Wasa, we need you too. I hate to think that any more of the oldies will just up and leave because of the BS (cos there have been some - including a couple of Aussie ones who used to be around A LOT). I don't post much, but I've been around long enough to know that its you guys that have helped me with my progress and motivation over the last year (its my bandiversary in 2 days!! YAY!).

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

hi bandster - here is a link to Wasa's reply.

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/im-cheating-already-44151/#post608101

HA! You know, I got my panties in such a wad over that thread that I unsubscribed and never read the rest of it. I should have.

Thanks for posting the link.

MORE SO, thanks to TravelGirl for her post. There are times I KNOW full well I know what I'm talking about and I KNOW I am giving the correct information and people just look at me and stick their tongue out. (Okay, that doesn't happen on the boards but I KNOW it happens while they read, I feel it. ) I get frustrated. I want soooo much for others to experience what I do. I want them to be normal size and enjoy the world as a normal size person. There are times.... well, if the truth be known there are times I just wanna smack people then shake the leaves right outta their tree! I want them to see what I see, I want them to experience what I experience, I want sooo much for them to be healthy. I know how to do that. I know how to get to that point. But I come off as such a bitch that it doesn't show what my real intent is. So I give up and move on.

Okay, that was my rant. But thank you. Sincerely, thank you for posting that thread and thank you TravelGirl. I wouldn't have finished reading that thread had it not been for the two of you.

[FDATrialGuineaPig 7]

In all fairness to oldies, it's not bs that at a certain point we're out living our lives.

For awhile (I think year 4?) I actually on a regular basis FORGOT I was banded--my weight became something I didn't think about for the first time in my life. After my battle with reflux started that all changed, but I guess my point is...don't discount the "out living life". It happens.

~Robin in my 8th year :hungry: