An Uncomfortable Question

[Guest]

I have a rather uncomfortable question. Please don't judge me for asking. If anyone is comfortable answering, I'm curious: how has the surgery affected your...romantic life? If you have loose skin, saggy breasts, thin hair, etc. is it hard to be... intimate?

I'm really sorry for asking this question.

I've been single my whole life, never been intimate with anyone and really want to get married and have a family. That's one of my motivations for getting the surgery. Although I've had some dates here and there, I've never been intimate with anyone before because I was afraid of what they'd think of me when they saw me (if you get my drift) for the first time. That being said, at first I was really excited about the surgery (and am still going through with it) but recently, I'm kind of feeling nervous at the prospect of getting loose skin, deflated boobs and losing my hair.

Again, I'm sorry for the uncomfortable question. I do sincerely appreciate any response.

Edited June 1, 2019 by Guest

[Diana H 6]

Don’t worry about it! Whoever is gonna love you will love you anyway. I didn’t get my surgery yet and I’m also a little bit concerned about loose skin. Some insurance pay for plastic surgery when your weight stabilized after Bariatric surgery. Do it for you, you will feel great and will irradiate that.

[ms.sss 15,720]

Sex is sooooo much better when I'm thinner.

And even with looser skin, I am waaaay hotter than when I was obese. And not just because I am thinner, but because I am more CONFIDENT and sure of myself, and the weight loss was a big part in re-cultivating that.

You are really worried about how you will feel/look after weight loss (I notice this is your second post on the topic ♥️). But are you happy with your situation right now? I'm guessing that you aren't since you are moving forward with the surgery.

Change is scary. But if you put in the effort, it will totally be worth it. 100%. ♥️

Edited June 2, 2019 by ms.sss

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Diana H said:

Don’t worry about it! Whoever is gonna love you will love you anyway. I didn’t get my surgery yet and I’m also a little bit concerned about loose skin. Some insurance pay for plastic surgery when your weight stabilized after Bariatric surgery. Do it for you, you will feel great and will irradiate that.

I hope so. Thanks for your reply. Good luck to you on your journey.

[Guest]

28 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

Sex is sooooo much better when I'm thinner.

And even with looser skin, I am waaaay hotter than when I was obese. And not just because I am thinner, but because I am more CONFIDENT and sure of myself, and the weight loss was a big part in re-cultivating that.

You are really worried about how you will feel/look after weight loss (I notice this is your second post on the topic ♥️). But are you happy with your situation right now? I'm guessing that you aren't since you are moving forward with the surgery.

Change is scary. But if you put in the effort, it will totally be worth it. 100%. ♥️

Thanks for replying. No, I'm not happy with my situation now hence the surgery. I'm really worried about it because I'm tired of not being attractive. The thought of staying unattractive even after weight loss scares me. It's kind of this weird "I'll never catch a break" feeling.

I appreciate your reply. I'm glad to hear about your successful journey.

[thatch 377]

I agree with @ms.sss that the confidence boost after surgery plays a huge part. I'm still working toward my goal weight, I've got saggy bits, and my boobs have DISAPPEARED but my husband is more attracted to me than ever. I don't have the hang-ups about my body that I did 80 pounds ago. I'm energetic, which means better sex for both of us. I initiate sex more and I'm not shy about being in weird positions that before I would have thought I was too fat for. XD

I'm rooting for you, best of luck on your journey!

[GreenTealael 25,430]

You could literally have the perfect xyz and someone who is COMPLETELY incompatible with you will find all the faults in the world

Likewise you could be a hotmess of stretch marks, batwings, crow's feet & melty parts but the RIGHT person will think you're the one they have been waiting for their entire lives

Choose the ones that will always choose you

Edited June 2, 2019 by GreenTealael

[Carrot64 214]

Confidence is a sexy thing... remember that!! I wish I had listened to that advice years ago... love yourself flaws and all and someone else will too.. I promise

[KCgirl061 1,532]

I think sex is much better now. Everything is more sensitive down there. Not to mention I'm in better shape now and have more endurance as well.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Hey !Silver Fox Dudes, ready to try. it out, if you can keep from laughing at my formerly fat skin areas. And when I lay down you don't need to play anthropologist and go excavating, it's there and handy! I have turned from Shrinking Violet to Geranium, blooming all over and not one of my blooms needs Deadheaded!

[Liz The New Me 281]

In the romance department I would never start it because of my weight. Now I have not lost as much as others but for me and my body the lost made a big difference in our bedroom. Hot and Steamy and at min. 2 times a week.

Confidence you will have so much, that even the batwings, tummy bubble that if the person you are with can not handle that, he is not worth it. Tell him to go see if some super model will take him and move on.

[ypease 177]

It's not an uncomfortable question at all. I'm pre op and my husband is very supportive. We all have that question in the back of our minds. I have to agree with everyone here though. Confidence is sexy! Maybe ever sexier than some slinky outfit. I would like to add that the "right one" usually comes along when you stop looking for them. You will now have the ability to pick and choose your dates, not the other way around. So, let go and stop looking for "the one". I kissed, and married a number of "frogs" before I found the "toad" of my dreams. The right man, the one who will cherish and love you come hell or high Water is out there. And he's just waiting for you to wander in! He will love you no matter what you look like without the window dressing, and with the lights on. BTW, I don't believe in "the one" theory. Out of literally millions of people, how can there just be 1?

[othella2 76]

Sex is sooooo much better when I'm thinner.
And even with looser skin, I am waaaay hotter than when I was obese. And not just because I am thinner, but because I am more CONFIDENT and sure of myself, and the weight loss was a big part in re-cultivating that.
You are really worried about how you will feel/look after weight loss (I notice this is your second post on the topic [emoji813]️). But are you happy with your situation right now? I'm guessing that you aren't since you are moving forward with the surgery.
Change is scary. But if you put in the effort, it will totally be worth it. 100%. [emoji813]️

AGREED!!![emoji122] [emoji122]

Sent from my Moto E (4) using BariatricPal mobile app

[Guest]

Wow, a VERY big thank you to all who took the time to reply to this inquiry.

As I mentioned in one of my replies, I think the primary reason it's bothering me is because I can't shake this "I can't catch a break" feeling. If I end up with loose skin, deflated boobs and thin to no hair, I'm afraid I'll be perceived as unattractive as I was when I was heavy. You know?

I'm still young, never been in a relationship before and really want to experience that. So I'm sure you can understand why I would feel that way. I want to look as good as I feel.

Once again, thank you all for your input. I appreciate it! :)

[Frustr8 7,886]

Confidence, sweetie, the bottom line is Confidence. If you present yourself as confident, they may not even notice the other, if they do, They are not the RIGHT ONE for YOU!❤