Overeaters Anonymous - Should I go??

[froufrou 678]

How dare they be judgemental - they have no right. I'm sorry you were made to feel that way. Most of us have done weight loss every which way and none of it is easy!

[mousecat88 2,280]

9 minutes ago, froufrou said:

How dare they be judgemental - they have no right. I'm sorry you were made to feel that way. Most of us have done weight loss every which way and none of it is easy!

WLS is a tool. Just like OA. Seemed very hypocritical. Why not take advantage of EVERYTHING available to you if it works? Whateva. lol.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Amen Mousecat, I do Jumping Jacks in case it will make my belly fat fall off, hasn't worked yet but I'm hopeful. If not my gut will continue looking like corduroy, might come handy as a washboard, always wanted Washboard Abs although I am certain this isn't what the term means!

[Danny Paul 761]

On 4/29/2019 at 4:04 PM, mousecat88 said:

they were judgmental of me having WLS when I went. When my friend who was with me left the room one of the hosts said they discourage members from having WLS because "if I had just used OA I would have never needed surgery".

Who ever you dealt with was way out of line. OA is a Fellowship and we support each other. We don't pass judgement on the way you went about losing weight. I have never had anyone in the many meetings that I've attended speak that way to another OA member. If at all possible see if there is another meeting nearby for you to attend.

As for reading. There are meetings which are called Big Book Meetings where the Big Book is read and then discussed. There are other meetings called Qualifiers where the person who signs up to lead the meeting that day will speak about her/his experiences. We then go around the room and speak about ours. These meetings are such eye openers as people will give us their struggles and successes in life, food or anything else that they want to share.

You are 100% right in saying that people do not give advice at the meetings. At the meeting a book is circulated. It is called the We Care Book. I put my first name only and phone number with the times I want other OA members to call me. Everyone does this. I have gotten the numbers of other WLS patients and we call each other to offer advice and support. One OA member who is a WLS patient texts me every morning so that we can go over our plan for a successful day. Others call or text when they need advice or if they need just to talk when they have cravings to eat food not on their food plans. This is the way you get your advice and the way for you to help others with your experiences. It takes work but I find the program very helpful to me.

You should also seek out a sponsor who will help you with a food plan and to help you through the steps of the program. It does take effort and it is very rewarding when you help others and they in turn get to help you. The group you attended broke not only the rules of OA but the spirit of the Fellowship that we try to foster. Try another group if possible. If you do attend the same group seek out others who had WLS (not everyone will say) and take their numbers from the We Care Book. If not seek out a sponsor who can help you.

Use every tool that you can to be successful as we take it one day at a time. Good luck.

[LuvDeeDee 37]

I've been to OA meetings in my area and they were helpful and the people were nice. I don't attend anymore but I do have a book that's about the process of OA. It's all about looking within yourself, finding out what your triggers are and learning to cope with them while you give up your trigger foods and habits. It's a lot of self reflection and problem solving.

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[Sosewsue61 3,185]

You might try putting up an ad at the grocery store, library, gym, senior center, etc for interested people to start your own support group - maybe even use a room at the library. You don't have to talk about WLS, just the struggles of not snacking, food choices, recipes, etc and then email or call each other during the week for support....

There is also TOPS which is relatively inexpensive org and they used to be a great group when I attended years ago.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Take Off Pounds Sensibly) meets every Thursday evening at St. Leo's Catholic Church on Sulpher Springs Road, Inwood. Private weigh-ins are held from 6 to 6:30 p.m., with the support meeting starting at 6:30 p.m. Visitors are welcome to attend and the first meeting is free of charge. Annual membership for TOPS is $32 a year and Chapter dues is $4 a month. TOPS provides education programs, support, and friendship.

[KatieMc 55]

Take Off Pounds Sensibly) meets every Thursday evening at St. Leo's Catholic Church on Sulpher Springs Road, Inwood. Private weigh-ins are held from 6 to 6:30 p.m., with the support meeting starting at 6:30 p.m. Visitors are welcome to attend and the first meeting is free of charge. Annual membership for TOPS is $32 a year and Chapter dues is $4 a month. TOPS provides education programs, support, and friendship.

Within a TOPS group (I've been a member and Weight Recorder at one for 2 years), there is also KOPS - Keeping Off Pounds Sensibly for those who've reached their goal. I'd say they are pretty awesome at helping with maintenance, great success rate in my group. They offer support in and out of meetings, the entire group is a resource for advice, they run games for dimes and quarters to keep things fun. The average age tends to be quite high, but think of that as a greater wealth of knowledge - they've been on every diet, they've considered WLS. They're more open-minded than you might think.

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[liisacw 11]

I have been to many, many Anonomeetings. My life is much better for the time I have spent in those rooms. All groups are not created equal. I would suggest going to other meetings if there are more available in your area. You will not like everything you hear and you may not relate to everything you hear, but the general suggestion is to "take what you like and leave the rest". Best of luck to you.

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[ish_sheddingitall 35]

Does the program you got wls through have a support group specifically for wls patients? I got my surgery through kaiser and they have one. Or maybe you should look for another group. Seems like you’re being judged before you even get there.

[ish_sheddingitall 35]

Also maybe Seeing a therapist individually is an option? I have been seeing one throughout this process and it’s been helpful

[Teester 3]

Hello! I am 6 months out from GS surgery. I struggling as my compulsive eating behaviours have returned. My problem now is grazing and food selection. I seem to have more discomfort when eating healthy meals. Fortunately, (or perhaps not), I do not vomit. I am, however, in much discomfort. I've gotten lazy and have fallen back on 'slider' foods, Protein Drinks, Protein Bars, ice cream (I'm sorry to say) and other types of foods that go down easy, no discomfort. I've had much success with 12-Step programs in the past and am looking for an OA meeting with a Bariatric focus. I lost 100 lbs while attending compulsive eating meetings and working the program. When I stopped attending the behaviours came roaring back. When I hit the highest weight of my life (354 lbs) and was officially put on Metformin for diabetes (A1C 7.2) that's when I turned to WLS. I absolutely knew the Metformin was going to have an impact on my kidneys. I was off all medications (diabetes, HBP) the day after surgery. (A1C 5.4). Is there anyone out there who might be interested in starting a 12-Step program for post-op WLS? I've scoured the internet but have been unable to find anything. I did read that OA has amended their policy accepting WLS members. I do plan to start attending. However, what I'd really like is to attend something specifically focused on WLS.

[mousecat88 2,280]

The people in that OA group made me so pissed off I kinda' want to go back just to be like check out all the weight I've lost FROM MY WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY, YOU JUDGMENTAL A-HOLES.

Unfortunately my surgeon's office doesn't have a "true" support group. They meet once a month and just have speakers come in. No one actually talks.

I've mentally moved past the idea of needing a support group. I have you guys to rant to, if need be. LOL

[Teester 3]

Let's start the first Bariatrics Anonymous 12-Step Group!

Whose in?

[summerset 5,265]

On 4/29/2019 at 10:04 PM, mousecat88 said:

They were judgmental of me having WLS when I went.

Idiots. Don't go there anymore. Judgement is the last thing you need.

Quote

"if I had just used OA I would have never needed surgery".

... and delusional on top. ROTFLMAO.

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Seriously. I've heard good and bad things about these groups. What I took out from what I've heard is that it's all dependent on what kind of people go to the meetings, e. g. some groups require to be on their quite strict diet while other groups let define their members "abstinence" for themselves.