How To Handle Haters

[AshleyDosie 26]

I recently told my family that I am pursuing bariatric surgery. I have a BMI of 43, and have struggled with my weight since high school. Initially, my younger sister was incredibly supportive of my decision. She has always been supportive of any decisions I make that will lead to ultimate happiness. Today however, she told me that I was letting someone else do the work for me, and That with food addiction counseling and exercising consistently there is no reason I could not do this without surgery. How does everyone handle their friends and family making them feel like they are taking an easy way out?

[Sheribear68 3,201]

If someone is determined to have this attitude without bothering to learn the science behind it before they make up their mind, there’s really not a lot that can help them.

Now I realize you can’t write these people out of your life, but I’d try to have as little interaction with them as possible.
For sure don’t get defensive or feel like you have to justify your decision to them.
Hopefully someday they will appreciate the logical and fearless person that you are.

[GradyCat 3,695]

I handled the haters by not telling anyone about my surgery. It was a personal decision for my own health and I didn't want to hear their negative unsupportive comments and be under their constant observation about what I'm eating and how much weight I've lost.

[brownlady1979 31]

Some of my family members don't want me to have the surgery either but I had to realize it's not their choice or decision. I invited them to come with me to classes and appointments but they refused so now that I was approved, they don't know because I kept it to myself. We are still family and there is no love lost but I don't want any negativity so I don't mention it anymore. Good luck with everything

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

[Danny Paul 761]

9 hours ago, amauffert said:

That with food addiction counseling and exercising consistently

Keep in mind that these are thing that will help you post weight loss surgery. The surgery will only give you a jump start on weight loss and a healthier life. You will need need to work on the maintenance of the weight loss.

As for the haters, do what you think is best for you. My wife gave me a hard time about the surgery. I told her that I wanted her to be part of my journey but if she couldn't support me I'd do it without her. She realized that it was in my best interests to get the surgery and has been my number one supporter since. Sometimes you just need to have a heart to heart talk with the ones you love. I also didn't tell everyone about the surgery.

[FancyChristine15 810]

Maybe have them come to this site and read up. The surgery isn't a quick fix. I know that people who haven't had it/don't need it think that it is, but it isn't. Yes, it helps me not eat as much, but I still have to eat the right foods, drink my Water, exercise, etc.. People don't get that.

I've told everyone about my surgery. I'm not trying to hide it from anyone, and I'm not ashamed of the fact that I had it. I just saw someone this weekend that I hadn't seen in a while, and she complimented me on my weight loss then asked how I did it. I explained that I had the sleeve, but I also have to watch what I eat and exercise. All she said back was "maybe, I should do that". I haven't had one negative comment/reaction about my sleeve, but, again, I don't try to hide it. I'm proud that I made this decision, and I let people know that I'm proud.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Some days you feel like the mythical Sissyphus, pushing that heavy rock up that hill. Nothing easy when you are in this fight, wagering your future life that this can be done. There are trade-offs to,lose everything in life, what are yours? Less weight for me, the lowering of arthritic pain, not getting stuck in seats, not having to ask others to pull me out, smaller cuter clothes, in my former size the were black, liver, mustard and nausea green large prints. Not being the literal butt of everyone's jokes, being able to stand looking in mirrors, even finding one that got all of me in was a problem too. But most of all, being proud of ME and what I have accomplished, keeps making me want to continue. And now I am more than 2/3rds of the way toward my goals, I just might make it, if not I at least know I tried!

[Sheribear68 3,201]

On 04/22/2019 at 09:56, Frustr8 said:

Some days you feel like the mythical Sissyphus, pushing that heavy rock up that hill. Nothing easy when you are in this fight, wagering your future life that this can be done. There are trade-offs to,lose everything in life, what are yours? Less weight for me, the lowering of arthritic pain, not getting stuck in seats, not having to ask others to pull me out, smaller cuter clothes, in my former size the were black, liver, mustard and nausea green large prints. Not being the literal butt of everyone's jokes, being able to stand looking in mirrors, even finding one that got all of me in was a problem too. But most of all, being proud of ME and what I have accomplished, keeps making me want to continue. And now I am more than 2/3rds of the way toward my goals, I just might make it, if not I at least know I tried!

Beautifully put!!

[april042019 105]

Obviously you're doing the surgery because that didn't work out with you. Surgery isn't easy. I had mine 2 week ago and I have to monitor everything I eat. Finding the right foods, stopping yourself when you've had enough, timing everything, etc. It's not easy and if they'd done any kind of research or asked anyone about it they would know. If you think this is right for you, don't mind what anyone else thinks.