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Aren't we here to support each other?



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I was reading through the journals the other day and there is a person there who has had a difficult journey with the band. Their journal is probably the only place where they can truthfully express their weaknesses, insecurities, pitfalls, etc.

I personally didn't read her journal for a while because it was so depressing. I finally started reading her journal again and left a comment for her that offered some ideas/advice and support and understanding. I haven't read any of the comments previous to mine. But the other day I saw someone had left her a comment and decided to check it out. And the person came off as pretty damn insensitive boarding on rude.

This gal is having a hard enough time. She admits what she's doing wrong. She is just using her journal as a voice. I don't think she's out there seeking sympathy. But she should be able to honestly express herself in her journal without receiving comments that will only make her feel worse.

I'm all for being honest and letting people know when they are off track. (She already acknowledges this) I believe these sentiments can be expressed in a tactful way that offers support

This journey is hard enough without having a co-bandster tell you they have no sympathy for where you are at in your journey. I have sympathy for anyone who is addicted to food and battles not only that but the judgements of society because of the fat a** we get because of our love of food.

Alright- I'd better stop. I could go on and on.

Aren't we here to support each other?

~Tina

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Tina I fully agree. This is an addiction just like booze, drugs etc.... People do not realize that. Some people do very well very quickly and some need that extra time and help.

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There is never an excuse for being rude or insensitive, on journal comments or anywhere else. But since you raised this question in the R&R section, I will also say that I don't think we're necessarily "here to support each other" blindly.

Please don't take me wrong--I am NOT saying that rudeness is acceptable and I'm not addressing any specific comments or posts (I have not seen those you are talking about, for example). But I don't think it fits to say that we're all about "support" here, if saying that somehow dictates what can and can't be said. This site is called LapBandTALK, not LapBandSupport. I bristle when I hear things like "you're not being supportive" because that implies that UNLESS a comment meets someone else's definition of "supportive" it's somehow unacceptable.

I personally think that honesty is the best support, and it doesn't always come wrapped in pink bubblewrap. And since not everyone likes or wants honest feedback it can seem harsh even when it's not meant that way.

We're all on the same road here and there's no cause at all--EVER--to attack one another. I'll wholeheartedly agree with that.

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I was reading through the journals the other day and there is a person there who has had a difficult journey with the band. Their journal is probably the only place where they can truthfully express their weaknesses, insecurities, pitfalls, etc.

I personally didn't read her journal for a while because it was so depressing. I finally started reading her journal again and left a comment for her that offered some ideas/advice and support and understanding. I haven't read any of the comments previous to mine. But the other day I saw someone had left her a comment and decided to check it out. And the person came off as pretty damn insensitive boarding on rude.

This gal is having a hard enough time. She admits what she's doing wrong. She is just using her journal as a voice. I don't think she's out there seeking sympathy. But she should be able to honestly express herself in her journal without receiving comments that will only make her feel worse.

I'm all for being honest and letting people know when they are off track. (She already acknowledges this) I believe these sentiments can be expressed in a tactful way that offers support

This journey is hard enough without having a co-bandster tell you they have no sympathy for where you are at in your journey. I have sympathy for anyone who is addicted to food and battles not only that but the judgements of society because of the fat a** we get because of our love of food.

Alright- I'd better stop. I could go on and on.

Aren't we here to support each other?

~Tina

Could you post a link to the journal in question, so that we can see the post?

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I personally think that honesty is the best support, and it doesn't always come wrapped in pink bubblewrap. And since not everyone likes or wants honest feedback it can seem harsh even when it's not meant that way.

We're all on the same road here and there's no cause at all--EVER--to attack one another. I'll wholeheartedly agree with that.

I'll have to agree with you on this.

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