Awkward at Work

[scribs 3]

I got sleeved on Dec 18th (going great so far, 40 lbs down!) but I decided not to tell anyone at work besides a few close colleagues. All my friends outside work know and I am super open about it otherwise. Even had a puree party for my b-day. It's just I had tried mentioning it to a few coworkers pre-surgery and got a lot of judgmental push back about how I should just try harder and do Keto so as a result I figured it was better to just keep to myself.

Problem is I am normally an open book and pretty chatty at work too so I think the mystery of why I was out of the office for a few weeks over the holidays for surgery is making people wonder what's wrong. They know because my boss mentioned I was getting surgery (he doesn't know what type but I had to file paperwork) to my coworkers. Anyways it's all super awkward and has led to some awkward moments between me and coworkers trying to ask what I had done. Even my bosses boss asked me what I was getting and my awkward hesitation led to an even awkwarder stammering apology from her and I FEEL SO AWKWARD. Plus my normal boss asked if I was ok and wanted to make sure I didn't have cancer or something. But in about a month when I start rapidly losing more weight and start losing hair it's going to be awkward and he'll probably think I have cancer for sure.

What are your experiences sharing or not sharing your surgery with coworkers?

[Swanton_Bomb 522]

Quote

I simply said I needed surgery and filed the paperwork. My surgeon gave me a very discrete note which just said I was under his care, was having surgery and would need up to 4 weeks recovery time (I took 2). One supervisor asked, "Can I ask what kind of surgery?" which was a little out of line and rude, but she also kind of thinks we are friendly and we really aren't. I just said, "Female thing," and sounded uncomfortable, so she stopped there. It is no one's business, and they can think what they want. There are all sorts of surgery and medical issues that people don't want to discuss. WLS is nothing to be ashamed of, but neither is a vasectomy, or hemmoroid surgery, but people wouldn't expect you to talk about that.

[Wanda247 908]

3 minutes ago, scribs said:

I got sleeved on Dec 18th (going great so far, 40 lbs down!) but I decided not to tell anyone at work besides a few close colleagues. All my friends outside work know and I am super open about it otherwise. Even had a puree party for my b-day. It's just I had tried mentioning it to a few coworkers pre-surgery and got a lot of judgmental push back about how I should just try harder and do Keto so as a result I figured it was better to just keep to myself.

Problem is I am normally an open book and pretty chatty at work too so I think the mystery of why I was out of the office for a few weeks over the holidays for surgery is making people wonder what's wrong. They know because my boss mentioned I was getting surgery (he doesn't know what type but I had to file paperwork) to my coworkers. Anyways it's all super awkward and has led to some awkward moments between me and coworkers trying to ask what I had done. Even my bosses boss asked me what I was getting and my awkward hesitation led to an even awkwarder stammering apology from her and I FEEL SO AWKWARD. Plus my normal boss asked if I was ok and wanted to make sure I didn't have cancer or something. But in about a month when I start rapidly losing more weight and start losing hair it's going to be awkward and he'll probably think I have cancer for sure.

What are your experiences sharing or not sharing your surgery with coworkers?

Hi there, you may not lose too much hair that it is noticeable to others, you look pretty young. I've read on this site that a lot of people keep their surgery private and choose not to tell people which is perfectly fine and I respect them for that.

In the beginning I was going to keep it quiet but I am not a good liar and I'm older and would forget what I told who...funny thing is that I am not an open book at work but I work with a LOT of people (hundreds) and see a lot of regular customers so I just said what the heck let me tell any and all who are interested that way they can hear it from the horses mouth and not spread rumors, interestingly most people that work in my section have been motivated by my weight loss and have started working on their weight, after I came back from surgery I started walking 1 mile twice a day on my breaks and now so many people are doing the same, with that said if you want to just tell them then do but you DO NOT owe anyone any explanations. That's your personal choice if you want to share.

Congratulations on your weight loss and keep up the good job!

[notmyname 593]

I told 1 person at work. I lead a division of 30 - at our monthly meeting, I just said that I was fine, but was going to be out for 2-4 weeks, some of that teleworking. Nobody has asked.

@Swanton_Bomb - I'm fairly sure that your boss can't ask what kind of surgery.

And I don't lie. I just tell people I'm fine and its personal. The one person who asked if I lost weight I just looked at him for a beat or two too long for comfort and told him that asking about other people's bodies is not OK in the work place. I may have a leg up because I've made clear in the past not to ask personal questions of people, or talk about other people's bodies, because of something else that happened in our workplace. So I doubt my employees would ask anyway.

[Ed_NW 684]

The only people outside of my house that I would share my WLS details with would be somebody that I felt would benefit from the surgery. Another guy I told about it at work that is about my size and is not getting the surgery wants to race now. Bring it on! LOL

[Wanda247 908]

Ed_NW you should have put money on it...he’s going to lose...our tool is the bomb.com

You got this buddy. Yes!

[GradyCat 3,695]

I haven't told anyone and don't plan to. When my brother or friends see me in a few months and I've lost weight I'll just chalk it up to dieting.

[GreenTealael 25,358]

16 hours ago, scribs said:

I got sleeved on Dec 18th (going great so far, 40 lbs down!) but I decided not to tell anyone at work besides a few close colleagues. All my friends outside work know and I am super open about it otherwise. Even had a puree party for my b-day. It's just I had tried mentioning it to a few coworkers pre-surgery and got a lot of judgmental push back about how I should just try harder and do Keto so as a result I figured it was better to just keep to myself.

Problem is I am normally an open book and pretty chatty at work too so I think the mystery of why I was out of the office for a few weeks over the holidays for surgery is making people wonder what's wrong. They know because my boss mentioned I was getting surgery (he doesn't know what type but I had to file paperwork) to my coworkers. Anyways it's all super awkward and has led to some awkward moments between me and coworkers trying to ask what I had done. Even my bosses boss asked me what I was getting and my awkward hesitation led to an even awkwarder stammering apology from her and I FEEL SO AWKWARD. Plus my normal boss asked if I was ok and wanted to make sure I didn't have cancer or something. But in about a month when I start rapidly losing more weight and start losing hair it's going to be awkward and he'll probably think I have cancer for sure.

What are your experiences sharing or not sharing your surgery with coworkers?

IDK you could just tell them since you are post surgery and backlash will likely be minimal.

I, however, am a firm believer in privacy on health matters. At any point you can go from being super sharing to super private. Your choice.

You are not under any obligation to remain an open book & co-worker aren't privy to every aspect of life.

And if they keep pushing for answers say

Vaginal rejuvenation or prolapsed Anus

They will leave you all the way alone ...

Edited January 19, 2019 by GreenTealael

[sideeye 1,440]

It sounds like the real issue is that your coworkers might think you have cancer, or another serious disease that requires long-term care. It’s nice that they’re worried about you, but the questions they’re asking to try and figure out if you’re sick are probably pretty annoying.

You don’t owe them any answers about what type of surgery you had, but if you want to head off the questioning you can very sweetly reply that it was a one time procedure, it was effective, and you’re fine and healthy now. Thanks. That lets them know that there is no ongoing health issue, and hopefully gets them off your back when they’re trying to be kind.

… And then they will be the nosy ones who are asking because they’re curious. Feel free to just give them a slightly puzzled look, smile and move on.

[DeeberLee 300]

It always amazes me how insensitive some people can be. I had a similar situation with coworkers which I posted about. Some of the questions at work have died down now. However I do see my coworkers watching what I eat! Even at my heaviest weight I participated in 5K walks and so forth. I've told my coworkers that the exercise and eating healthy is starting to come together now.

[anl1990 91]

It was uncomfortable at first admitting it to my boss and HR. I'm not sure why - I almost felt guilty about doing it, like I was doing something wrong. But they both were pretty understanding. I told my coworkers as well, and they have all been fairly supportive. They ask how my progress is going, and whatnot, which is not nice. I personally would recommend just coming out and saying it. You don't have to go into detail, or elaborate on it. Give a simple answer, and leave it at that. They don't need to know all the details if you don't want them to.

[Frustr8 7,886]

You feel guilty because society has stated Obesity is something we willfully do. And truly many of us have tried everything short of slitting our own throats as an intervention to slow or retard our weight gains. I have literally be obese since babyhood when my parents , Depression Survivors that they were, overfed me in the belief FAT BABIES ARE HEALTHY BABIES hate coming across that it is somebody else's fault, shifting the blame, but in MY case it is true. Weighed at 1 year the same weight as a healthy 2-and-half year old, and THAT AIN'T GOOD! Oh I am trying to debulk myself but it is not very easy. Lost 50 pounds since surgery but my floppy stretched out skin is going to just be, unless my reoccurent skin breakdowns buy me Plastic Surgery, and doubtful any would repair someone in their 70s. Look what happened to Joan Rivers, went in for something minor, ended up majorally DEAD.

[Just4pj 6]

I was pretty open with the people in my department - but not so much with coworkers from other parts of the office. I am very lucky that I have such a fantastic support system and much of that support is at work. There were a few people whose initial response when they found out was very negative!! Not sure why some people's reaction is to talk about someone who had weight loss surgery and had some type of problem!!

Just keep in mind that you are in control, it is TOTALLY up to you whether you tell people anything at all!!

[ratboy3124 30]

I didn't tell anyone at work and they keep telling me "Dang, you're losing a lot of weight!" or ask me if I am on the meth diet... I just tell them I started eating differently and working out. I think I have motivated a few people to start eating better and working out! LOL!

[SisterWannaSleeve 61]

I ended up telling one of my direct reports. At first he made me feel comfortable by telling me that he knew a lot of people who had surgery with success. He asked me a few follow up questions about my past attempts and he said “oh you won’t be successful then” ... I ended that conversation very quickly. I can’t remember what I said to make him say that but I was immediately turned off. I’m just telling folks that it’s an elective procedure and people stop asking after that.