Six months post-op+ : The Sophomores Thread

[GreenTealael 25,439]

3 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

Carrying you where? Into a restaurant? A rodeo? The bedroom? Over a threshold?

What does "in a chivalrous way" mean?

Why does he "make plans to do that"? That feels sorta creepish in a way...to pre-meditate that...

serryimdense...all Mr. F. does is carry my dinner tray from my lap after dinner where it sits as we watch tv. And sometimes it's awkward cuz it's a long tray and the plate can slide--then he has to sorta stumble and catch it and make a lot of "oooph" sounds.

Just like this 😅 but im the tray...

[FluffyChix 17,415]

4 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

Just like this 😅 but im the tray...

Good times! I once had a friend who's bf did this and they fell and he broke his wrist. (she was about 4'11" and weighed 90lbs soaking wet so I don't think "weighing more" has as much to do with it.) I think it's more a physics assignment where it's very difficult to carry a 5'1" tube of rice or Beans that constantly shifts as you try to establish balance.

[GreenTealael 25,439]

Just now, FluffyChix said:

Good times! I once had a friend who's bf did this and they fell and he broke his wrist. (she was about 4'11" and weighed 90lbs soaking wet so I don't think "weighing more" has as much to do with it.) I think it's more a physics assignment where it's very difficult to carry a 5'1" tube of rice or Beans that constantly shifts as you try to establish balance.

I don't want to fall...

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

17 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

I have a problem i dont want to put on my dating thread. Forgive me. 😭

New BF insists on carrying me in a sexy chivalrous way. First time was a bit of a struggle (audibly). I didnt like it because suddenly and for the first time all of my weightloss achievements seemed like not enough.

He's making plans for my return from vacay to do the same but its making me super self conscious. I warned him that I'm heavier than look. WTH do I do without killing the mood?

Anyone else having situations cause mind games like that?

Have you spent enough time together that you can tell him honestly, "I know you're doing this to make me feel sexy and romantic, but it really makes me uncomfortable?" Without going into the weight-loss details. Maybe suggest another way that works better for you? Like a can of Reddi-whip and a wicked smile? Or kisses on the back of your neck (but not in a creepy Biden way!) I think you need to give him alternatives that work better for you.

[FluffyChix 17,415]

1 minute ago, GreenTealael said:

I don't want to fall...

I think you buy a new pink wheelbarrow? And have wheelbarrow races around the house!

Nekkid.

[GreenTealael 25,439]

2 minutes ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

Have you spent enough time together that you can tell him honestly, "I know you're doing this to make me feel sexy and romantic, but it really makes me uncomfortable?" Without going into the weight-loss details. Maybe suggest another way that works better for you? Like a can of Reddi-whip and a wicked smile? Or kisses on the back of your neck (but not in a creepy Biden way!) I think you need to give him alternatives that work better for you.

13 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

Why does he "make plans to do that"? That feels sorta creepish in a way.

LOL it is kind of creepy, I guess... But he thinks its affectionate. 😭😳

[FluffyChix 17,415]

2 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

LOL it is kind of creepy, I guess... But he thinks its affectionate. 😭😳

Awwww! Ok, keep him then.

[GreenTealael 25,439]

6 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

Awwww! Ok, keep him then.

I'll try!

[sideeye 1,440]

Ah ha, I’ve just encountered this issue! Less that he’d schedule times to hoist me, more that he noticed that I squirmed away when he tried and clearly substituted something else.

We’ve found a middle ground where I sit on his lap, which apparently ticks his box and makes it possible for me to NOT freak out about one of us tripping/breaking/needing medical intervention. He’s strong enough to lift me just fine, but it makes me so nervous I don’t enjoy it. I think he just likes the feeling of me relaxing against him completely. And last night I did let him carry me around while we were in a hot spring, half-floating, which he very much liked (as did I, actually).

I’ll ask and find out if the lap-sitting thing is an acceptable tradeoff for being able to tote me around, but based on reaction I suspect it is.

[okayestmom 232]

I update #2 MRI came back and GI people cannot see a stone in the bile ducts. They wanted to wait and see if my liver returned to normal before doing procedure. Surgeons disagree and want GI procedure prior to surgery. They referred me to a civilian hospital to have GI procedure with pics done even though the VA could do it. While they fight over it, I still can’t eat or drink. My body has gone into starvation mode again and my resting heart rate keeps dropping to 35 when I sleep. They are not concerned because I don’t have cardiac symptoms. Labs just went out. My bilirubin went up yesterday, but everything else went down. Still peeing dark and looking pretty yellow. Total bilirubin 3.8 and direct bilirubin 2.4. Living on morphine and air. For those of you wondering, I have been advised that it is okay to go up to 7 days without eating.

[GreenTealael 25,439]

3 hours ago, sideeye said:

Ah ha, I’ve just encountered this issue! Less that he’d schedule times to hoist me, more that he noticed that I squirmed away when he tried and clearly substituted something else.

We’ve found a middle ground where I sit on his lap, which apparently ticks his box and makes it possible for me to NOT freak out about one of us tripping/breaking/needing medical intervention. He’s strong enough to lift me just fine, but it makes me so nervous I don’t enjoy it. I think he just likes the feeling of me relaxing against him completely. And last night I did let him carry me around while we were in a hot spring, half-floating, which he very much liked (as did I, actually).

I’ll ask and find out if the lap-sitting thing is an acceptable tradeoff for being able to tote me around, but based on reaction I suspect it is.

OMG thank you! 😍

[GreenTealael 25,439]

28 minutes ago, okayestmom said:

I update #2 MRI came back and GI people cannot see a stone in the bile ducts. They wanted to wait and see if my liver returned to normal before doing procedure. Surgeons disagree and want GI procedure prior to surgery. They referred me to a civilian hospital to have GI procedure with pics done even though the VA could do it. While they fight over it, I still can’t eat or drink. My body has gone into starvation mode again and my resting heart rate keeps dropping to 35 when I sleep. They are not concerned because I don’t have cardiac symptoms. Labs just went out. My bilirubin went up yesterday, but everything else went down. Still peeing dark and looking pretty yellow. Total bilirubin 3.8 and direct bilirubin 2.4. Living on morphine and air. For those of you wondering, I have been advised that it is okay to go up to 7 days without eating.

I hope there are (the right) answers soon 💜

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

1 hour ago, okayestmom said:

I update #2 MRI came back and GI people cannot see a stone in the bile ducts. They wanted to wait and see if my liver returned to normal before doing procedure. Surgeons disagree and want GI procedure prior to surgery. They referred me to a civilian hospital to have GI procedure with pics done even though the VA could do it. While they fight over it, I still can’t eat or drink. My body has gone into starvation mode again and my resting heart rate keeps dropping to 35 when I sleep. They are not concerned because I don’t have cardiac symptoms. Labs just went out. My bilirubin went up yesterday, but everything else went down. Still peeing dark and looking pretty yellow. Total bilirubin 3.8 and direct bilirubin 2.4. Living on morphine and air. For those of you wondering, I have been advised that it is okay to go up to 7 days without eating.

Where in Texas are you? I'm just south of Fort Worth. Is there anything I can do to help?

[okayestmom 232]

45 minutes ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

Where in Texas are you? I'm just south of Fort Worth. Is there anything I can do to help?

I am at the VA in Temple, Texas. They also just discontinued my IV fluids because my antibiotics are done. I told them I think I needed them, and the response I got back from the nurse is that the Doctor thinks it is okay for now. My husband is on his way up here now. We are less than 20 miles from the hospital. Thanks for the offer though. Hopefully when the Drs. Start rounds we can get things cleared up.

[okayestmom 232]

They just came in, getting back on IV, getting the ERCP (GI stuff to clear bile duct). done today at the VA, because my liver got worse.