Six months post-op+ : The Sophomores Thread

[FluffyChix 17,415]

1 minute ago, GreenTealael said:

No, no problems here, and some of these people don't even have weight or food issues. I'm just wondering how OCD we look from the outside...

I have to admit it's super relaxed & routine to me and I can sub and adjust easily but I must look ... Rigid.

And I sort of have to be and always was, I had food rules prior to this.

But I feel eyes on me now like never before.

I don't think people who have no food/weight issues can possibly understand what our heads are like as a result of battling obesity. Nor do most understand that even with surgery, there is no "cure"--we will always be at risk for our metabolic disease to escape remission and become active again. Weight regain is real. We have to be vigilant about it. Maybe even rigid?

My sis asked if I was gonna forever be obsessed with weighing and measuring every morsel I put in my mouth and writing it down or if I will eventually be able to relax a little. She doesn't understand my drive to get to 140lbs either. She keeps saying that I look fabulous and don't need to lose more. *sigh*

I think (and yes, I too had food rules pre-surg, my whole life really) it's OK, to be us. And if we look rigid to people who don't understand, that is their problem, or we can choose to educate them--which is a PIA for the most part.

[AEdoesRnY 531]

On 01/30/2019 at 08:49, FluffyChix said:

Gosh girl. It really sounds like your variety is still there? What people observe through their own biased filter does not affect reality. You prepare some of the most thoughtful, beautiful meals--whether that's a cup of yogurt, or one of your kale salads, or a hard boiled egg Protein snack.

I think people want us to revert to eating like before or eating like them to reassure themselves that there is nothing wrong with them and that it's pointless to go your route, cuz sooner or later, you are just gonna revert to eating pancakes again and regaining all your weight. You know? I think people expect that of me as well? I do feel people watching.

So do YOU feel like you're developing a problem?

I agree with @fluffychix about variety - the drinks and meals you post about in the before/after food thread are #goals for me...I live on wasa and low fat provolone a lot of days.

It’s so frustrating that we live in a society where paying attention to and picking apart what others eat is seen as an acceptable past time. I know it really rankled me a lot before surgery, where I always felt ashamed and like I had to rationalize a “treat” even if I was losing weight and had planned for the calories, etc. It’d be hard when it comes from a place of genuine care and concern, like it seems to be in your case, but still frustrating. It’s enough work to be mindful about what you’re eating for yourself that adding on a layer of feeling like you need to justify/explain would be really frustrating!

[GreenTealael 25,339]

I feel like I'm in such a weirdo in between space. I don't care as much about food these winter months. SAD? i swore this was when all the cooking would happen. Not for myself anyways. I'm like it's just food, I'm hungry. I'll just eat yogurt. I like yogurt.

I need to get back in cooking track

[AEdoesRnY 531]

On 01/30/2019 at 09:20, GreenTealael said:

I feel like I'm in such a weirdo in between space. I don't care as much about food these winter months. SAD? i swore this was when all the cooking would happen. Not for myself anyways. I'm like it's just food, I'm hungry. I'll just eat yogurt. I like yogurt.

I need to get back in cooking track

I need to get back into cooking, I do the same thing sometimes which is when I get into a rut of I guess I’ll just have a cracker and cheese.

My husband and I are separating; we are two weeks out from the big decision and while we’re taking the process slowly it’s been a wake up call of all the things that I stopped doing because I just counted on him to do it. Cooking is a major one of those, along with doing dishes. So I need to start getting motivated to do that regularly again, which is exciting but also somewhat daunting. I don’t want to resort to cheese and yogurt and live off of easy, prepackaged things, or worse off of take out which is just bad for me all around!

[FluffyChix 17,415]

@AEdoesRnY I'm sorry to hear of your separation, but saying prayers that this change brings you peace, joy, and happiness. ((hugs))

@GreenTealael So I think you should cut yourself some slack, cuz what I see is that you're doing what we ALL do when we don't feel motivated to be Betty Crocker. We figure out quick solutions for meals. In the old days, that involved a comforty aspect and may have been fueled by drive-thru and rich take-out or even healthy take-out with big portions. That was our quick solution to unmotivated.

Now your solution is that you've found easy and simple meals that still comfort you, taste great, provide really solid nutrition--and bam! You're done! So what that it's healthy. Right? So what that it looks different from other peoples' definition of a quick takeout comfort meal?

I think you've evolved and found a great solution to the food doldrums. You know?

[sillykitty 10,774]

@GreenTealael ... certainly doesn't sound like orthorexia to me. You're flexible, you're eating what sounds good to you, but with a healthful bent. You certainly aren't obsessively counting lettuce leaves.

I'm totally food lazy, and I don't even feel bad about it. It's time consuming and expensive to cook for myself. It takes just as long to cook a large portion as a small portion. Then part of the large portion goes to waste, because I get sick of it. And then there is the dirty dishes and dirty kitchen. I'm usually happier to eat some cheese, or salami, or carrots with dip, or heat up two pieces of a Trader Joe's appetizer. Time saved, no waste, and I'm satisfied. #noapologies

[sideeye 1,440]

11 hours ago, FluffyChix said:

Eating disorders after WLS. Been accused yet?

Today a work colleague saw that I had only bought three pieces of sushi and got spooked. He first met me 4 months ago so doesn’t know I used to be much larger, and I think he’s now suddenly realizing that every time he eats with me, I don’t eat much.

So I ate a Mrs Fields cookie two hours later after a group meeting, where he could see it. This was a mistake, not so much because of diet or capacity, but because the sugar went straight to my head and I couldn’t think coherently!

i don’t really let it get to me, but yeah - people who knew me when I was heavier don’t mention the food intake, I think because they approve of my new size so don’t want to rattle that. New people just think I don’t eat enough.

[GreenTealael 25,339]

39 minutes ago, sideeye said:

Today a work colleague saw that I had only bought three pieces of sushi and got spooked. He first met me 4 months ago so doesn’t know I used to be much larger, and I think he’s now suddenly realizing that every time he eats with me, I don’t eat much.

So I ate a Mrs Fields cookie two hours later after a group meeting, where he could see it. This was a mistake, not so much because of diet or capacity, but because the sugar went straight to my head and I couldn’t think coherently!

i don’t really let it get to me, but yeah - people who knew me when I was heavier don’t mention the food intake, I think because they approve of my new size so don’t want to rattle that. New people just think I don’t eat enough.

Yeah... I'm always trying to prove that I eat too. It's kinda exhausting.

[sideeye 1,440]

OKAY. So. Out of the slump - and thank you everyone for putting up with a solid month of moaning from me. Lost three pounds last month which is no world record, but at least posts as a loss and means my insane erratic eating habits after my ill-fated IF excursion may be evening out (disclaimer: IF certainly is viable for some women, I just appear to be that edge case who trips every hormonal circuit when I try).

Tomorrow night I am going on my first dating-app date, I’ve got another queued for next week, I’m beginning to get the hang of the app part at least. Rival Consultant is also asking to go out together more, which is interesting. Foreign cardio partner remains involved in vacation planning, which is now about 45 days away, and which reminds me I need to start swimming.

Someone brought over a whole cheesecake for my birthday and last night I threw the remaining half of it out, which felt like a minor milestone because 1) I haven’t had anything that insane in that quantity in my house for a year and 2) I was able to throw it out even though my mind was wailing that it’s a perfectly good cheesecake.

Am going shopping tomorrow, because I feel so much better when I’m wearing something seriously awesome and I’ve been wearing my handful of best outfits on heavy enough rotation that someone referred to today’s gear as “your favorite sweater that isn’t your other favorite sweater”. Ooooh, also some jewelry I ordered arrives tomorrow. So if I also schedule a haircut I will look like the terrifyingly casual businesswoman I aspire to be and that will further lift my mood. It’s odd to think I’m looking forward to shopping, when I used to be more inclined to chew off my own arm.

How is everyone else doing now we’re in Febr.... HA. Ah. I’ve literally just now realized what turned it: I have reverse SAD (no seriously, diagnosed and everything) and we hadn’t had a true long cold snap yet. I revived during the polar vortex. Why am I so goddamn weird?!

[GreenTealael 25,339]

1 hour ago, sideeye said:

OKAY. So. Out of the slump - and thank you everyone for putting up with a solid month of moaning from me. Lost three pounds last month which is no world record, but at least posts as a loss and means my insane erratic eating habits after my ill-fated IF excursion may be evening out (disclaimer: IF certainly is viable for some women, I just appear to be that edge case who trips every hormonal circuit when I try).

Tomorrow night I am going on my first dating-app date, I’ve got another queued for next week, I’m beginning to get the hang of the app part at least. Rival Consultant is also asking to go out together more, which is interesting. Foreign cardio partner remains involved in vacation planning, which is now about 45 days away, and which reminds me I need to start swimming.

Someone brought over a whole cheesecake for my birthday and last night I threw the remaining half of it out, which felt like a minor milestone because 1) I haven’t had anything that insane in that quantity in my house for a year and 2) I was able to throw it out even though my mind was wailing that it’s a perfectly good cheesecake.

Am going shopping tomorrow, because I feel so much better when I’m wearing something seriously awesome and I’ve been wearing my handful of best outfits on heavy enough rotation that someone referred to today’s gear as “your favorite sweater that isn’t your other favorite sweater”. Ooooh, also some jewelry I ordered arrives tomorrow. So if I also schedule a haircut I will look like the terrifyingly casual businesswoman I aspire to be and that will further lift my mood. It’s odd to think I’m looking forward to shopping, when I used to be more inclined to chew off my own arm.

How is everyone else doing now we’re in Febr.... HA. Ah. I’ve literally just now realized what turned it: I have reverse SAD (no seriously, diagnosed and everything) and we hadn’t had a true long cold snap yet. I revived during the polar vortex. Why am I so goddamn weird?!

We are going to need a Magic School Bus style ride along (photo) tour of shopping, unboxing, Vaca, Date details... I love a good adventure and I'm totally invested !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[FluffyChix 17,415]

^^^This! We want full disclosure, preferably with pics! hehe

Congrats on being out of your funk. LOL. on reverse SAD. Is that a thing? For reals? So happy to hear about your shopping trip, your date, your Vaca date, and for being out of the funk!!! Wooohoooo!

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

Glad to hear your mood is on an upswing. Doldrums suck! Congrats on 3 pounds after the IF fiasco. Resetting hormones isn't easy. I'm another shopping-hater, but it is becoming less stressful. Cheesecake-what kind of sadistic friends do you hang out with? I mean, REALLY, PEOPLE???

[sideeye 1,440]

Reverse SAD: actual thing. Summer makes me depressed.

Shopping: I can wear proper fitted shirts now! No gaping because of breasts, smooth line down to my hip! Look! Might actually be a size 10 pant now in some designers, and actually had an enjoyable time wandering around and trying stuff on. Did not purchase anything and feel great that I had no impulse to “buy something to make the trip worth the effort” or get the best option out of a bad set.

date: perfectly nice guy, enjoyable conversation, no spark. Hmmm. May give it one more go, but a good re-entry into the pool.

Vacation: will absolutely share photos. It’s going to be gorgeous.

Edited February 6, 2019 by sideeye

[FluffyChix 17,415]

Wowza! You look great!

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

8 hours ago, sideeye said:

Reverse SAD: actual thing. Summer makes me depressed.

Shopping: I can wear proper fitted shirts now! No gaping because of breasts, smooth line down to my hip! Look! Might actually be a size 10 pant now in some designers, and actually had an enjoyable time wandering around and trying stuff on. Did not purchase anything and feel great that I had no impulse to “buy something to make the trip worth the effort” or get the best option out of a bad set.

date: perfectly nice guy, enjoyable conversation, no spark. Hmmm. May give it one more go, but a good re-entry into the pool.

Vacation: will absolutely share photos. It’s going to be gorgeous.

I love looking at "after" pics, where if I'd just met you for the first time, I'd think "What a nice figure" and have no idea that you'd ever been overweight! Congrats!