Support and honesty needed

[ShrinkingTN- hopefully 16]

Hi, I’m signed up for sleeve at the end of Jan. My husband is supposed to travel with me to watch me after the egd and after surgery. He tells me this won’t work on me, I’m old ( just turned 50) and it’s my metabolism and workout schedule. He says I’d be better off getting a bunch of Lipo and I will just ruin my body with a lifetime of naseua and vomiting and not getting any results . He says I just need a personal trainer. Though I know none of this is true it’s giving me second thoughts. He says I don’t eat much so this wouldn’t work. Well obviously I do eat or I wouldn’t weigh 200 lbs, prediabetic and 35 BMI. Sadly, he is an addict and Shoujd get this or be supportive like I was through his tough journey. Now I’m awake at night wondering what if I do this and lose nothing or end up worse? Any thoughts, suggestions or advice would be so much appreciated. Thank you!

[Hop_Scotch 1,630]

He is projecting his insecurities and fears, there are plenty of people who have had success with WLS.

At the end of the day it's up to you, but weight loss isn't about an exercise schedule, where will you be this time next year and the year after that if you don't do surgery? If you haven't successfully lost and maintained in the past what will be different for you if you don't do the surgery?

While your husband's support would be wonderful, it isn't necessary for you to be successful with WLS.

In general, how is your marriage with regards to other things? You don't need to answer here, but do bear in mind, that relationship issues are often made worse when one of those in the relationship has WLS. If there are current issues may be worth having some relationship counselling as soon as possible.

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

2Shea is right about your husband's issues. They're his and not yours, however, having him behind you makes the whole process much better.

This can certainly work for those over 50. I was 58 when I was sleeved last February and I've lost 115 pounds in 10 months. You would likely lose more slowly since you're at a much lower starting weight, but the weight will go.

See if you can bring him to a support group meeting where he can ask his questions and meet others who've been successful. Good luck!

[Jazzy1125 1,010]

I agree that the husband is full of insecurities, but looking at her weight and BMI she is borderline eligible.One piece of information that is missing is are there any other comoribidities. I am far from a surgeon but all i see around here is to be considered you have to have other comorbidities at a 35 bmi.. I may be wrong, but i also see both sides of this equation.

[JessLess 1,163]

I'm just going to touch on the parts about whether it will work. I'm 48 and perimenopausal so my metabolism is slow. I don't exercise very much beyond physical therapy and walking because my back is messed up. When my back was better, I saw a number of personal trainers. They helped me get in shape, but not lose much weight.

I've found it relatively easy to lose 34+ lbs. in 2 1/2 months, much faster than on any other diet I have ever been on.

I'm rarely nauseous and I've thrown up 2x since I got the surgery. I was very adept at using 2 oz. cups to make sure I didn't consume too much when I was healing. Now I eat pretty normally, just a lot less, less carbs, and more Protein.

I think WLS has changed a lot and some people have ideas based on older types of WLS surgery that weren't as easy to live with.

Whatever you decide, good luck!

[Myhorseisfattoo 387]

DUDE! I'm 52 and fatter than you and I'm doing smashingly well! Look at my stats! My husband was super weird about the surgery too, but now that he is seeing the results he is more of a believer. Also, I have never thrown up. Got nauseous 3 times. Haven't had crazy diarrhea. Kinda just plugging along.

Don't let him rain on your parade. If you have tried everything and it hasn't worked, GO FOR IT with a nice, clear conscience and a wonderful journey to look forward to!

[FluffyChix 17,415]

He's worried about losing an "eating/feeding partner" and also worried about how your new life will affect him. The End. Fu*k him! LOL. You do you. Many of us on here are 50+ and have done so well (and feel younger and like we have a younger life back).

Only you know what's going to work for you. But I will tell you this...it's hard work. For some of us, it's hard work. Nothin easy or short cut about it. The tool is only a tool. Someone described this surgery as a nail. A nail does nothing by itself. It just lays there and is a nail. But if you apply action and force (pounding), then it does amazing work and fortifies and strengthens.

This isn't magic bean surgery. IT will not make you magically dissolve to a tiny weight. You have to change your lifestyle and your food choices if you want to lose it and keep it off. If you honestly aren't ready for that change? Then in my opinion, you ARE wasting your time, money, and 80% of your tummy, and your golden shot. There's only 1 golden shot. You have to want it like there is no tomorrow.

[Swanton_Bomb 522]

I'm 44 and my losses have been amazing, nearly 30lbs. in 7 weeks (for someone my height this is incredible), plus 20 from the pre-op diet, so it can work on someone your age. I also have PCOS and hyperinsulinemia, so even the metabolically challenged can benefit. Nausea and vomiting are not the norm. I occasionally have an unsettled stomach when I eat a little too much, but nausea is infrequent and brief (a few minutes after my vitamins) and I haven't had vomiting. It isn't easy, not at all, but the recovery has been far better than I expected. I suspect that he is afraid or maybe a little jealous.

[GreenTealael 25,324]

5 hours ago, ShrinkingTN- hopefully said:

Hi, I’m signed up for sleeve at the end of Jan. My husband is supposed to travel with me to watch me after the egd and after surgery. He tells me this won’t work on me, I’m old ( just turned 50) and it’s my metabolism and workout schedule. He says I’d be better off getting a bunch of Lipo and I will just ruin my body with a lifetime of naseua and vomiting and not getting any results . He says I just need a personal trainer. Though I know none of this is true it’s giving me second thoughts. He says I don’t eat much so this wouldn’t work. Well obviously I do eat or I wouldn’t weigh 200 lbs, prediabetic and 35 BMI. Sadly, he is an addict and Shoujd get this or be supportive like I was through his tough journey. Now I’m awake at night wondering what if I do this and lose nothing or end up worse? Any thoughts, suggestions or advice would be so much appreciated. Thank you!

Tell him "I know you think you're right"

Then do it anyway...

Safe Journey 🎈

[drop the beat 47]

If YOU are having second thoughts...wait and work out a bit to see if you can accomplish goals without surgery..But dont worry about the negative thoughts of others. This decision is for YOU no one else.

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

[ShrinkingTN- hopefully 16]

Thank you so much for all the awesome advice and support. I do have other comorbidity factors and my weight keeps climbing no matter how much I exercise. You have all helped me so much. It’s really reinforced how much I want to do this. This is more support and advice I’ve had in anything. Thank you all so much! ❤️ I’m very greatful.

[Frustr8 7,886]

And February on, after your surgery Water bloat is over, your losses will start, even if you hit a Stall later, you will continue to lose, and pretty soon even he will have to appreciate the New and improving You, if he doesn't that's his fault not yours. Do You, do it well, and believe always in You!

[Screwballski 540]

After suffering for 12 years with a horrible band experience, I was sleeved in May 2018. I started the process in Jan 2018. By the time my May 17th surgery/revision date came, I’d struggled down to a 30 BMI. My husb of not quite 2 years kept asking if I really needed the revision. Regularly suggested maybe they should just remove the band and get out. He never knew me at 260lbs. He never saw me bigger than the 209 I blossomed to after our marriage (so I knew his questions were innocent in nature).

Your husband sounds a bit different. It’s understandable. It’s a frightening time for him. He’s about to have his life change too. The woman he’s married to is about to transform. You will! Completely and totally. In so many ways. He knows this. Can you imagine how he feels? Don’t let him shake you, though. Have empathy but keep YOUR compass straight!

As far as age goes, i’m 54 now. I was almost at the mid-point of 53 when I had surgery. It’s been a breeze. Age means nothing. Your lower BMI will be helpful. I was at goal quickly. I am well below what I ever imagined.

Even with a 3.8 pound holiday gain, i’m Right in the middle of the recommended weight for my height. My surgeon said if I wanted to gain a few more he’s fine with it. If I want to maintain this, perfect. He doesn’t recommend losing anymore. Think about that!!! It has been 20 years since a doctor told me they don’t recommend I lose another pound!

THIS COULD SO EASILY BE YOU IN SEVERAL MONTHS!

❤️👍🏻🤷🏼‍♀️

[Frustr8 7,886]

Try as you may, there are some people that don't understand. What you have to settle in your own mind is:
Is it your fault really or merely a fault in them?

[dawnam 14]

13 hours ago, ShrinkingTN- hopefully said:

Hi, I’m signed up for sleeve at the end of Jan. My husband is supposed to travel with me to watch me after the egd and after surgery. He tells me this won’t work on me, I’m old ( just turned 50) and it’s my metabolism and workout schedule. He says I’d be better off getting a bunch of Lipo and I will just ruin my body with a lifetime of naseua and vomiting and not getting any results . He says I just need a personal trainer. Though I know none of this is true it’s giving me second thoughts. He says I don’t eat much so this wouldn’t work. Well obviously I do eat or I wouldn’t weigh 200 lbs, prediabetic and 35 BMI. Sadly, he is an addict and Shoujd get this or be supportive like I was through his tough journey. Now I’m awake at night wondering what if I do this and lose nothing or end up worse? Any thoughts, suggestions or advice would be so much appreciated. Thank you!

Lifetime of nausea and vomiting? uh.. I haven't had a bout of nausea or vomiting once. Not in the hospital, not since I have been out of the hospital. I am 26 days post op and I am losing weight and am 2 weeks from being on full diet, and life is good! You do you and don't listen to someone who honestly has no idea what they are talking about