Support Group Hiatus

[mousecat88 2,281]

Just saw my psychiatrist today. A brief history... I have been seeing psychiatrists since I was about 4 or 5. I have Tourette's and anxiety... unfortunately never grew out of the Tourette's like most kids do (yay me!) Anyways, therapy has NEVER been of benefit to me. I've seen dozens and dozens over my lifetime. I always end up either depressed (which I usually never am) OR extremely argumentative. It's just not a helpful tool for me. I fully support those who benefit from it, though.

I've been struggling in support groups, too, like this and others. I find myself always comparing myself to the stats of other people. I want to be happy for people for losing weight, but like I said in another thread, it just makes me sad and jealous that I'm not there yet. I feel like my entire LIFE revolves around my weight, my food, my vitamins... WAY MORE than it did pre-op. I spend alllll day on various groups and forums. I didn't even own a scale pre-op and now I am on that thing every single day. I am much more obsessed with my size than I was before.

After talking about this with my psych, she suggested I get off all my support groups and forums for a while and focus on non-weight related things. Maybe take some classes or pick up a hobby. Stop obsessing over my weight and comparing myself to others or lamenting that I can't eat what other people further ahead of me (or non-ulcerated) can. I think I'm going to take that advice and leave for a bit. I think it's healthier than sitting staring at stats all day long and getting upset about my slower weight loss.

In a twist of irony, I am going to ask for opinions on this. I enjoy talking to people that have gone through something similar, and giving advice myself, but I cannot stop staring at the stupid tickers, etc. I don't *want* to go, but maybe it's healthier? At least until I am more comfortable with my progress.

[Hrsnjs 267]

Just saw my psychiatrist today. A brief history... I have been seeing psychiatrists since I was about 4 or 5. I have Tourette's and anxiety... unfortunately never grew out of the Tourette's like most kids do (yay me!) Anyways, therapy has NEVER been of benefit to me. I've seen dozens and dozens over my lifetime. I always end up either depressed (which I usually never am) OR extremely argumentative. It's just not a helpful tool for me. I fully support those who benefit from it, though.
I've been struggling in support groups, too, like this and others. I find myself always comparing myself to the stats of other people. I want to be happy for people for losing weight, but like I said in another thread, it just makes me sad and jealous that I'm not there yet. I feel like my entire LIFE revolves around my weight, my food, my vitamins... WAY MORE than it did pre-op. I spend alllll day on various groups and forums. I didn't even own a scale pre-op and now I am on that thing every single day. I am much more obsessed with my size than I was before.
After talking about this with my psych, she suggested I get off all my support groups and forums for a while and focus on non-weight related things. Maybe take some classes or pick up a hobby. Stop obsessing over my weight and comparing myself to others or lamenting that I can't eat what other people further ahead of me (or non-ulcerated) can. I think I'm going to take that advice and leave for a bit. I think it's healthier than sitting staring at stats all day long and getting upset about my slower weight loss.
In a twist of irony, I am going to ask for opinions on this. I enjoy talking to people that have gone through something similar, and giving advice myself, but I cannot stop staring at the stupid tickers, etc. I don't *want* to go, but maybe it's healthier? At least until I am more comfortable with my progress.

Ok so of course you should do what you feel is best for YOU. I left Facebook completely a couple of years ago and it has improved my life, seriously. Also, you know I'm local and if you want to chat face to face or anything we can do that if you don't want to be online. If you decide you want to, PM me before you leave for a bit and I'll give you my cell #. I fully believe you should do whatever helps you day to day.

Sent from my Pixel 3 using BariatricPal mobile app

[mousecat88 2,281]

1 minute ago, Hrsnjs said:

Ok so of course you should do what you feel is best for YOU. I left Facebook completely a couple of years ago and it has improved my life, seriously. Also, you know I'm local and if you want to chat face to face or anything we can do that if you don't want to be online. If you decide you want to, PM me before you leave for a bit and I'll give you my cell #. I fully believe you should do whatever helps you day to day.

Sent from my Pixel 3 using BariatricPal mobile app

I think I have your cell in my PMs! I need to add it to mine. I'll shoot you a text so you can save me.

[mousecat88 2,281]

I'm scared to cut the cord! lol! I'm such a Millenial.

I will never say that again. LOL.

I wish I could just not be a crazy person and obsess over what other people are doing.

Edited December 18, 2018 by mousecat88

[LadySin 404]

I had to put my scale someplace I'm too lazy to get to everyday because I too was obsessing over numbers and I haven't even had my surgery yet! I've never felt better for it!

I think it's a great idea to take a step back and just do you. It may be easier to take small steps first. You could start by cutting out 1 or 2 of the sites you visit most. Then see how you feel. Give hiding your scale a try! Also take weekly or even daily pictures of yourself wearing the same thing. A picture is worth a thousand numbers! Buy clothes that are a little too small and see how much better they fit you every time you decide to try it on!

You've got this sis!

[ummyasmin 1,603]

Sounds like a good idea to take a break for a while. I found when I'm high (bipolar here) I get obsessive with twitter and it consumes me so I need to stop cold turkey. It must do something to the wiring in my head.
My shrink has a neat trick for when obsessive thoughts are getting to you - everytime you find yourself worrying about weight, scales, food, whatever is giving you brain cooties, then you need to interrupt the neurons that are strengthening that particular brain pathway. It's like you're cutting a groove in a record that the needle will jump into ever more easily. So to interrupt that negative process she has a trick.

First one is, count to 100, out loud, as fast as you can without slurring the numbers but literally as fast as you can. You can't think about anything else whilst you're doing that. So it re-directs your neuron firing pattern.

The other one is focus on your feet to really concentrate on every little thing you can feel about them.

But yeah, maybe give yourself a break from social media for a while. *hugs* Mental stuff is hard!

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[mousecat88 2,281]

Sounds like a good idea to take a break for a while. I found when I'm high (bipolar here) I get obsessive with twitter and it consumes me so I need to stop cold turkey. It must do something to the wiring in my head.
My shrink has a neat trick for when obsessive thoughts are getting to you - everytime you find yourself worrying about weight, scales, food, whatever is giving you brain cooties, then you need to interrupt the neurons that are strengthening that particular brain pathway. It's like you're cutting a groove in a record that the needle will jump into ever more easily. So to interrupt that negative process she has a trick.

First one is, count to 100, out loud, as fast as you can without slurring the numbers but literally as fast as you can. You can't think about anything else whilst you're doing that. So it re-directs your neuron firing pattern.

The other one is focus on your feet to really concentrate on every little thing you can feel about them.

But yeah, maybe give yourself a break from social media for a while. *hugs* Mental stuff is hard!

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

I found categorizing helps distract me when I am anxious. Like I pick a color and name every single thing I can think of that is that color. It stopped a lot of panic attacks from ever happening.

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[ummyasmin 1,603]

I found categorizing helps distract me when I am anxious. Like I pick a color and name every single thing I can think of that is that color. It stopped a lot of panic attacks from ever happening.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using BariatricPal mobile app

That sounds like a fabulous trick. I'm adding that to my arsenal.

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[Frustr8 7,886]

On 12/18/2018 at 8:15 PM ,ummyasmin said:

Sounds like a good idea to take a break for a while. I found when I'm high (bipolar here) I get obsessive with twitter and it consumes me so I need to stop cold turkey. It must do something to the wiring in my head.
My shrink has a neat trick for when obsessive thoughts are getting to you - everytime you find yourself worrying about weight, scales, food, whatever is giving you brain cooties, then you need to interrupt the neurons that are strengthening that particular brain pathway. It's like you're cutting a groove in a record that the needle will jump into ever more easily. So to interrupt that negative process she has a trick.

First one is, count to 100, out loud, as fast as you can without slurring the numbers but literally as fast as you can. You can't think about anything else whilst you're doing that. So it re-directs your neuron firing pattern.

The other one is focus on your feet to really concentrate on every little thing you can feel about them.

But yeah, maybe give yourself a break from social media for a while. *hugs* Mental stuff is hard!

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

Some good advice found here, think maybe I should obsessing over the unfixable and start doing ME after all!

[mousecat88 2,281]

I think a good idea is to put away my scale. If I don't know how much I weigh, I can't compare myself to anyone. Just put it away and check it once every 3 weeks or something. That's the ultimate issue. I mean, the judgment and envy is an issue LOL but if I can hide my own weight from myself, I have no point of comparison with respect to weight loss rate.

[mousecat88 2,281]

So, clearly I've made my decision. Which is the total opposite direction I thought it would be. I got off FB (short-term), except for my one bypass support group. And I removed the app from my home screen and in its place I put my Baritastic App. The thing is, this new lifestyle IS my life. At least for now. There is no shame in dedicating my time to it. To talking to those in similar positions as me. And I need to learn to stop comparing myself to others... not shy away from the exposure.