Regret

[Starry*Night 148]

I never thought I'd feel this way, but here I am.

I'm 17 days post op; I start pureed foods tomorrow. I'm still struggling with getting my liquids down for the day. My weight loss stalled 3 days post op, and still hasn't moved.

I'm starting to regret my decision to have this surgery. I know I shouldn't - I know I'll be happy down the road - but this stall scares me, and I'm so tired of not being able to hydrate properly and not having energy to do anything. I'm working as hard as I can to get my 64 oz down every day, but right now Protein and Water is all that's on my mind all day and it feels like food is ruling my life even though I'm hardly having any of it. I average from 150 (!) to 500 cals a day, with most days falling around 250-300. I'm always struggling with nausea. I feel great until I try to drink. Protein hot chocolate and Jello seem to be all I'm able to get down easily, with the occasional protein Soup. Water sucks (and I loved water before surgery), even with flavoring.

I figure my calories will go up once I'm eating actual food, but how have you guys dealt with regret? Is there a trick to getting liquids down easier? Sip sip sipping makes me nauseous. If I saw the scale moving it'd help at least because I'd know this is working, but without it I'm scared.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Starry*Night please be easy on yourself, don't dwell on regrets. You're starting purees, that is SO GOOD, you could be in my moccasins, 19 weeks solid of liquids, few very runny purees, Protein Shakes. Tuesday I made a mini- branch out to mashed potatoes gravy and 3 well-chewed shreds of Turkey meat. Doesn't sound too thrilling ? Honey it was the first MEAT I was able to keep down since before my RnY September 5th, I literally wanted to cry. You see I have a stomal stricture and jejunem ulcers that aren't healing well, I spent a Week in Ohio State University November28- December 5th, had a PICC line put in November 29th, I am on TPN feedings 14 hours a night, I couldn't get enough Protein in orally to help my ulcers heal, this way I do have a fighting chance at healing.
Do I regret my surgery? Nope my life was pretty abysmal before it. Obese, in constant arhrotis pain from dragging my heaviness around, my peers dying and I wasn't sure I wouldn't be next!
Mad at my facility? Nope they took a chance on me and my surgery, many 72 year old women get turned down, many facilities have a cut-off at 60 or 70.
Oh I am more than a little peeved that my body is malfunctioning, not healing as fast as some, the knowledge that I will end up with baggy saggy skin, it was stretched too many years to BOUNCE back. But I am Still alive, kicking a little complaining but I am not as short,of breath as I once was. I came into this world, red-faced,red hair and shaking my fists, probably go out the same way. But nobody better ever consider counting Me Out, I still have a lot to offer this sad old world, maybe I will stick around and straighten things out.
Oh this challenge is not easy, and there is discomfort, my PICC LINE feels at times like someone stapled me with an industrial stapeler, but it will be a tool to help me get better, 14 hours wearing a bag of feeding solution , which is 8 pounds of dead weight, that's why it is in a black backpack, oh I do feel wearied but not 😟 worried. And I'm here if you ever want to vent more, and I am here for the long haul because I believe in tomorrows,i believe in the future and I believe in my surgeons, if I am broken now, they have the tools to repair and restore me! And I shall be victorious yet!

[Starry*Night 148]

Wow @Frustr8! You certainly put things in perspective.

Thank you for allowing me to vent and responding with both compassion and conviction. I'm sorry you've had such a hard time healing from surgery. I know I've just met you, but I'm so proud of you for staying strong through all that - I'd imagine it must be difficult to make a decision like this at 72, but you're going to have years of good health ahead of you because of your decision! "I came into this world, red-faced,red hair and shaking my fists, probably go out the same way" made me laugh - you're a firecracker!

I had a good cry tonight to let out my frustration, and now I'm pushing forward. It's hard sometimes when you see anecdotes of people breezing through surgery and feeling totally normal 2 weeks post op, but I have to remember to be gentle on my body and that everyone heals at a different pace.

[Walter.Sobchak 978]

Exactly, you are on your own path and no one else’s
How much weight have you lost in 17 days? Compare that to previous weight loss success you have had. A 3 day stall is nothing, just wait until you hit a 3 month stall like I did. Better yet, you could start gaining the weight back like I am.
Regretting your decision is normal, however there is nothing you can do about it now. You cannot have your stomach put back in, your only option is to move forward.

[Starry*Night 148]

Well, from my surgery date to 3 days post op, I lost 6 lbs. I've been stalled since, which is now 2 weeks. That's 3lbs/week which is pretty great - it's more that it made me concerned (probably needlessly) that the surgery won't work for me, especially since I've heard it's pretty typical to lose 20-30 lbs in your first month after surgery. I thought the first month is supposed to be the best for weight loss - apparently that may not be the case, for me anyway.

Hoping things get better from here on out. I did try some Decaf chai tea - I seem to be able to get that down pretty well, so that's a positive development! I'll go out and get some almond milk tomorrow to see if I can add that to the tea.

[Mrs.Cartwill 19]

Starry*Night - I know JUST where you are. I had my surgery the day after you. I am struggling with getting in my Water too. I have seen people post about all their post-op energy and I’m like “where did you get it?” I made a few friends in my nutrition class who had their surgery the week before me and they are down 35-40 lbs, working out at the gym and already looking at buying new clothes.

Me: I’m like, wait... how? I can’t barely make it through a grocery trip at Walmart without feeling like I am going to pass out. When shopping with my mom and sisters and literally had to carry my muscle milk and bottle of water to keep me fed and hydrated during our Christmas shopping. Mind you, I also sat down a lot too. I have way less energy than before.

I get hiccups 4-6 times a day from drinking my water and I think I am barely getting 40 oz in. I am so tired of Soups and I just cant do mixed shakes etc., there is too many air bubbles.

You are not alone. We all have different paths to take and I have my days where I regret it too, BUT.... I know this too shall pass and when I get to the other side I will look back and be happy with the choice I made. You will too. Feel free to reach out anytime. We have a couple of us chatting on FB too. You can find me under Sheila R. Williamson (Sheila Carter) on FB. My profile pic is the same on here.

You are doing great!! Keep it up and go easy on yourself. You got this!

[Walter.Sobchak 978]

On 12/13/2018 at 20:36, Starry*Night said:

Well, from my surgery date to 3 days post op, I lost 6 lbs. I've been stalled since, which is now 2 weeks. That's 3lbs/week which is pretty great - it's more that it made me concerned (probably needlessly) that the surgery won't work for me, especially since I've heard it's pretty typical to lose 20-30 lbs in your first month after surgery. I thought the first month is supposed to be the best for weight loss - apparently that may not be the case, for me anyway.

Hoping things get better from here on out. I did try some Decaf chai tea - I seem to be able to get that down pretty well, so that's a positive development! I'll go out and get some almond milk tomorrow to see if I can add that to the tea.

It will get easier. The weight just melted off of me the first 7 months, then I stalled for like 3 months and have since started regaining the weight. The sleeve will work for you if you work it, but it is not magic. You have to make the right choices to be successful. I am currently not making the right choices and have put back on 25 pounds of the 110 I had lost.

[Starry*Night 148]

1 minute ago, Mrs.Cartwill said:

Starry*Night - I know JUST where you are. I had my surgery the day after you. I am struggling with getting in my Water too. I have seen people post about all their post-op energy and I’m like “where did you get it?” I made a few friends in my nutrition class who had their surgery the week before me and they are down 35-40 lbs, working out at the gym and already looking at buying new clothes.

Me: I’m like, wait... how? I can’t barely make it through a grocery trip at Walmart without feeling like I am going to pass out. When shopping with my mom and sisters and literally had to carry my muscle milk and bottle of Water to keep me fed and hydrated during our Christmas shopping. Mind you, I also sat down a lot too. I have way less energy than before.

I get hiccups 4-6 times a day from drinking my water and I think I am barely getting 40 oz in. I am so tired of Soups and I just cant do mixed shakes etc., there is too many air bubbles.

You are not alone. We all have different paths to take and I have my days where I regret it too, BUT.... I know this too shall pass and when I get to the other side I will look back and be happy with the choice I made. You will too. Feel free to reach out anytime. We have a couple of us chatting on FB too. You can find me under Sheila R. Williamson (Sheila Carter) on FB. My profile pic is the same on here.

You are doing great!! Keep it up and go easy on yourself. You got this!

Omg, are we twins? 🤣 I went through the same thing with Walmart last week! I felt dizzy and like I could pass out, my boyfriend had to push the cart for me and pull the car up front because I couldn't even make it back to the car. Three days later, I felt fine going through Walmart on my own; although today, a week later, I've been putting off shopping because I haven't been feeling too great the past few days.

I hear you on the working out at the gym too! I got a little desk cycle so I could sit in a comfy chair and cycle, and I don't manage to get that exercise in most days. Or I'll do it for 20 minutes and literally fall asleep right where I was peddling! lol

I'm so glad you commented - I'm going to add you on FB right now 🤗

[Myhorseisfattoo 387]

Dude - I'm 2 days post op and I won't even get on the scale because I'm sure I weigh more than I did when I went in! So swollen! You've probably lost more than you think when you factor in temporary surgical gain!

[Starry*Night 148]

5 hours ago, Myhorseisfattoo said:

Dude - I'm 2 days post op and I won't even get on the scale because I'm sure I weigh more than I did when I went in! So swollen! You've probably lost more than you think when you factor in temporary surgical gain!

I never gained from surgery - that was something I didn't know could happen till I came on the forums, so maybe you're right! Good luck - I had a hard time a few days post op, but by the next week I felt so much better. Every day I felt exponentially better. How are you feeling?

[Myhorseisfattoo 387]

I did it. I got on the scale. 6 pounds up from surgery! ARG!!! I feel ok. About where I should be at this point. No regret, just wish I didn't have to go through the crappy part to get to the good part!!!

[ummyasmin 1,603]

I did it. I got on the scale. 6 pounds up from surgery! ARG!!! I feel ok. About where I should be at this point. No regret, just wish I didn't have to go through the crappy part to get to the good part!!!

It'll come off, then you'll stall and you'll be like "what the?" then your body will recover and you'll start losing weight before you know it. How's hubby now that you've had the surgery?

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

[mousecat88 2,280]

15 hours ago, Starry*Night said:

I never thought I'd feel this way, but here I am.

I'm 17 days post op; I start pureed foods tomorrow. I'm still struggling with getting my liquids down for the day. My weight loss stalled 3 days post op, and still hasn't moved.

I'm starting to regret my decision to have this surgery. I know I shouldn't - I know I'll be happy down the road - but this stall scares me, and I'm so tired of not being able to hydrate properly and not having energy to do anything. I'm working as hard as I can to get my 64 oz down every day, but right now Protein and Water is all that's on my mind all day and it feels like food is ruling my life even though I'm hardly having any of it. I average from 150 (!) to 500 cals a day, with most days falling around 250-300. I'm always struggling with nausea. I feel great until I try to drink. Protein hot chocolate and Jello seem to be all I'm able to get down easily, with the occasional protein Soup. Water sucks (and I loved water before surgery), even with flavoring.

I figure my calories will go up once I'm eating actual food, but how have you guys dealt with regret? Is there a trick to getting liquids down easier? Sip sip sipping makes me nauseous. If I saw the scale moving it'd help at least because I'd know this is working, but without it I'm scared.

You're doing fine! I am 6 weeks out from surgery and hit about 50oz a day of water and 40g of protein a day. I get nauseous when I drink still. I drink warm water and that helps some. I eat about 400 calories a day. I had a nearly two week stall and just recently went down 3 pounds. My first two weeks out of surgery I only got 10-20oz of water a day! I've lost weight, but I still see other people who had it the same time I did losing way more. It'll happen when it happens... but it'll happen. I had a lot of regret at first, but it's shifted to envy of other people. lol! Our brains are bastards.

[GradyCat 3,695]

I just had my surgery 12/11/18, so this is my first full day back home from the hospital. So far I'm having no trouble getting liquids down and some sugar free pudding and sugar free popsicles too. I did worry though because I'm 2 pounds heavier than before surgery, but I figure my body's been stressed and holding on to everything it's getting for now because I starved it for two days post-op. Hang in there, this is about the long-term, not the short-term. I was regretting the surgery on post-op day #1 because of the severe nausea, but one day later things were so much better and I feel like a human being today.

[Myhorseisfattoo 387]

38 minutes ago, ummyasmin said:

It'll come off, then you'll stall and you'll be like "what the?" then your body will recover and you'll start losing weight before you know it. How's hubby now that you've had the surgery?

Sent from my SM-G930F using BariatricPal mobile app

He's more nurse-maid-y than I would have expected. Not verbally supportive but I have what I need. Good enough!