The Cookie Incident

[amy6152 70]

I was debating whether or not to post about this, as I haven't seen a lot of screw-ups on these pages, but I've got a doozy. I'm five and a half weeks out. I've been following my (very restrictive) diet to the letter almost all the time. My only deviations were a little Thanksgiving stuffing and some regular cheese at a party, where I'd brought deviled eggs for myself but didn't plan on being there so long and DO YOU KNOW THERE'S A LIMIT TO HOW MANY FREAKING DEVILED EGGS A PERSON CAN EAT IN FIVE HOURS? Lesson learned on that one. Next party I brought something I could live off for a year. Holiday parties everywhere. Anyway, the Cookies. So, yesterday was a crap-tastic day. A member of my immediate family is struggling with mental health issues and let's just say everything came to a nice sharp point yesterday morning. I was wound up tight, and it just so happened I had "make cookies" on my calendar for a cookie exchange this weekend. In hindsight this is laughable, but in the moment I truly thought I was being proactive and getting those cookies made a day or two early, and wow, am I rocking this mom thing. Fast forward several hours and I can provide you with the following truths. One, I was making those cookies to eat because I was emotionally devastated. Two, my sleeve can hold far more cookies than I would have thought possible from the meager amounts of chicken that manage to fill me up. Three, there IS such a thing as dumping syndrome for sleevers, and it's a horrible experience. And four, it's amazing how quick your brain can be to jump from "really bad day and a subsequent bad choice" to "I'm a complete failure and I'm never going to be able to do this." So there. Those are the highlights of the cookie incident. I went to bed early, feeling so sick and so darn sorry for myself. What a loser! I almost deleted that sentence. I'm feeling some compassion toward the me of yesterday, and I know I'm not a loser. I know one mistake does not the future make, and I also know there will be others. But man, that was hard. It was hard to live with in the moment, and afterwards. It makes me think twice about even going to the stupid cookie exchange. The situation at home is ongoing and my stress level has been hard to manage. I'll meet the mom for coffee instead, explain I just wasn't able to make that particular holiday party, or just not take any cookies home with me and ignore the whining of my children. Ugh. I hate all of these options. I think to really be successful through this holiday season, I have to control WHAT'S IN MY HOUSE. I can go to a party or a family gathering and eat something that's not "on the list", but I can't bring it home. That's me. That's where I am, and what I have to do. Here's hoping the kids will understand.

[Myhorseisfattoo 387]

I freaking LOVE you! Thanks for being a real human being and being brave enough to admit it!

Yesterday was one day, today is new and you got this!!!!!!

[Myhorseisfattoo 387]

Also, you should consider a career in writing!

[amy6152 70]

13 minutes ago, Myhorseisfattoo said:

I freaking LOVE you! Thanks for being a real human being and being brave enough to admit it!

Yesterday was one day, today is new and you got this!!!!!!

Thank you!!! Good luck with your upcoming surgery!

[Myhorseisfattoo 387]

Thank you!

[amy6152 70]

14 minutes ago, Myhorseisfattoo said:

Also, you should consider a career in writing!

LOL I have a career in writing. ❤️ Amy Gamet. Google me.

[KimTriesRNY 1,853]

Thank you for sharing.

Most of us are not perfect. I eat according to my plan the majority of the time but sometimes I do veer off track in the moment. I can’t imagine having to be around that stuff all the time at home, I could not do it! I’m the same, I do better if I can portion out a special treat somewhere else rather than have tempting items in my home. I’ve always been that way.

🤗

[Myhorseisfattoo 387]

18 minutes ago, amy6152 said:

LOL I have a career in writing. ❤️ Amy Gamet. Google me. 

OMG - I called it!!! Also, you are right up my alley and I just Kindled up a couple of your books to read while I'm off! During the semester I never get to read for pleasure, so I'm looking forward to it!

[Swanton_Bomb 522]

I think your "failure" was a smashing success, actually. You learned on several different levels what your body can and cannot handle, and how to better prepare yourself for temptations in the future. Bravo!

[GreenTealael 25,358]

So candid and refreshing that you aren't seeking permission to be bad, off plan, yourself, etc.

Just owning it.

Super top secret info I'm going to share...

Add Protein Powder to your Cookies mixes,

Voila

Now you're on trend! Everyone gets Protein cookies, and you get the smug satisfaction of being semi on plan during difficult times.

Compromise and sustainability

Safe Journey 🎈

[amy6152 70]

14 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

So candid and refreshing that you aren't seeking permission to be bad, off plan, yourself, etc.

Just owning it.

Super top secret info I'm going to share...

Add Protein Powder to your Cookies mixes,

Voila

Now you're on trend! Everyone gets Protein Cookies, and you get the smug satisfaction of being semi on plan during difficult times.

Compromise and sustainability

Safe Journey 🎈

Thanks for the idea and the words of encouragement!

[FancyChristine15 810]

I like what you said at the end there. I also can't keep things at home that I shouldn't have. It just makes it so much more convenient to eat these things. I've lived alone for a while now, and that's been easy to do. I will have a roommate next month though, so it will be a bit harder. We've both got this. You're right, you're NOT a loser!

[allwet 868]

Amy, let me start by saying. Forgive yourself and let it go. The guilt and the mental anguish will do more harm than the Cookies in the long run. I know the feeling from the sugar overload and it is the worst i have felt since having the flu years ago so i know you paid dearly for that. Don't forget that feeling but move on with lesson learned.

If available to you go the gym when you feel that pressure and pound some weights till you can barely walk. it is a great stress reducer and lacks that post cookie guilt.

One single day does not this journey make.

[amy6152 70]

8 minutes ago, allwet said:

Amy, let me start by saying. Forgive yourself and let it go. The guilt and the mental anguish will do more harm than the Cookies in the long run. I know the feeling from the sugar overload and it is the worst i have felt since having the flu years ago so i know you paid dearly for that. Don't forget that feeling but move on with lesson learned.

If available to you go the gym when you feel that pressure and pound some weights till you can barely walk. it is a great stress reducer and lacks that post cookie guilt.

One single day does not this journey make.

Awesome advice. I love lifting weights and just recently got up the nerve to show my face at the gym again after years of avoidance. Weightlifting truly has the ability to change mood and attitude. And yes, I will remember that feeling!! Thought of it yesterday when faced with cake... no thank you.

[Medowsweet 52]

Thank you so much for sharing! You are NOT a looser, you are a HUMAN. Any of us can have, have had, or will have days like that... And sugury doesn't make you a different person, impervious to mistakes, bad choices, and bad days...
But you did something few of us do:
You confessed your humanity. And it is confessions like yours that make this a safe space for us all to admit to our own mistakes, instead of hiding them in shame under a facade of flawless compliance.