Expectations vs. reality

[*JASMINE* 1]

<p>Love this thread. Now I don't feel like the odd one out.</p> <p> </p> <p>I assumed that my struggle would be over. But it will never be.</p> <p>I assumed that once I lost my weight, the band would help me maintain it. But it hasn't.</p> <p>I assumed that I would not be able to overeat. I can.</p> <p>I assumed that my life would be changed forever. But I can always end up where I started.</p> <p>I assumed that my band would help with my hunger. It doesn't. I'm hungry ALL the time.</p>

[Marimaru 7]

Like Jasmine said, I assumed the struggle would be over. Which also relates to the fact that I had NO IDEA how much head hunger I truly was dealing with. I thought dieting would be over, but for me, that is not the case. The dieting work I have to do basically on my own. Where the band helps me, is that when I fall off the wagon, whenever I get my s*** together I can pretty much pick up from within 10 lbs of where I left off.

I also thought weight loss was steady. Even when I am working hard, I will go up and down anywhere from 5 to 10 lbs. I've had to learn what my fluctuations are, and learn not to panic when the scale goes up and it doesn't mean I'm 'gaining weight' as it were.

[I'm still here 0]

This is my favorite thread I've read so far! Thanks Wheetsin for starting it . . . :clap2:

I have spent the last 10 months worrying and wondering if all of the things I have been feeling (that have previously been mentioned HERE!) were normal. I am so glad to have read this and found out that I am not alone.

[Wheetsin 714]

I assumed I would be thin again. Even when I was just banded. For a while I was afraid to believe it might actually work, because how disappointing if it won't... but that was the time when the weight was flying off, so I started to think -- hey, I might really be able to do it this time!

Then I hit the stage where the weight quit flying off, and there I still sit, and I'm beginning to wonder whether I'll get where I want to be, or stay here. I've explained this before as an unwated since of complacency. A normal fat where yeah, I'm still fat, but not so much that it's going to stand out. It's NICE to be here after spending 8 years as the person who was so fat that people would do double-takes. It's REALLY nice. But it's not where I want to be.

I just gotta get my shit figured out.

In the meantime, I haven't gained. I'm still dropping... s-l-o-w-l-y. Like 30 lbs this year. My jeans I wore this time last year are about 1 size too big. That's not what I wanted to accomplish in the last year, but it beats the living daylights out of gaining anything.

Sop I guess all that boils down to -- I sort of assumed my loss would be more consistent and steady. Not at all the case. For the first 6 months the weight literally fell off, I was going thrugh a size every 2 weeks or so. And then *bam* it stopped, and has been an uphill battle ever since.

[Wheetsin 714]

Now - on the flip side of that.

I assumed that I would still be hungry, and that it would just take less food to fill me up. WRONG! I'm NEVER hungry. Even when I'm sitting here and my stomach is growling loud enough that others can hear it, I don't feel hungry. This is what I describe as my "two stomach syndrome" - it feels like I have a top stomach and a bottom stomach, and that even though the bottom stomach is hungry, the top stomach is full and keeps me from feeling hunger. Hard to explain, one of those "Just gotta experience it" things.

I lost my appetite during my pre-op diet. Completely. I assumed I would hit a point post-op where I'd be starving (what's most of what you read), but it never came, and it never has almost 18 months after the fact.

It is WAY too easy for me to sit at work and go through the entire day without eating anything. I've had to put little pop-up reminders to "eat something" on my calendar.

If I ate according to when I was hungry, I'd get maybe 200 - 300 calories per day. As it is, I'm doing good to pull 800 - 900. To go higher than that, I really need to eat a higher calorie food OR make a concentrated effort to eat more frequently throughout the day.

[bandster_1007 1]

i assumed that this would be easier than it is. i assumed i would have more control over my head hunger. i also assumed that i would lose "loads" during this post op phase.

-this is extremely hard, i'm not "hungry", but yet i can't keep my hands out of the snack cakes. i have got to cut out my carbs because if i don't, i have no control.

-all i think about is food. i think of way to "sneak" it so that my dh won't notice. (it is very unhealthy)

-i lost 12 pounds in the first week and a half, and i've lost nothing more since. i just keep hovering between the same 3 lbs. now granted, i can understand this becuase of the mentioned things above, but i eat maybe 1/3 of what i ate before, and i have been exercising.

[Cindi 0]

Then I hit the stage where the weight quit flying off, and there I still sit, and I'm beginning to wonder whether I'll get where I want to be, or stay here. I've explained this before as an unwated since of complacency. A normal fat where yeah, I'm still fat, but not so much that it's going to stand out. It's NICE to be here after spending 8 years as the person who was so fat that people would do double-takes. It's REALLY nice. But it's not where I want to be.

Sop I guess all that boils down to -- I sort of assumed my loss would be more consistent and steady. Not at all the case. For the first 6 months the weight literally fell off, I was going thrugh a size every 2 weeks or so. And then *bam* it stopped, and has been an uphill battle ever since.

Oh Wheetsin, you've nailed it on the head here. I also get in between 600-900 calories a day, with the exception of maybe once a week where I go over 1000, but never past 1400. I track every BLT(bite, lick taste) everyday. Not always great food choices, but eventually, it's calories in/calories burned, right?

But alas, I woke up this morning and had GAINED 3 lbs. I'm entertaining some articles that suggest I need to eat more, to sustain my resting metobolic rate. EAT MORE?!? How counter-productive does that sound to someone who's fought 160 extra pounds for 16 years??

I am stalling. And trying not to get discouraged. Desperately trying to regroup, and put head over matter.

I expected, by this time, it would be easier.

It's NOT.

I expected I wouldn't think and talk about this band 24/7.

But I do.

I expected the band obsession to ease, if not end.

It hasn't.

I never expected the band to do all the work, but I certainly didn't think I would be "dieting" and struggling this much. I sometimes wish it pulled a little more of the weight around here!

Sorry, done whinning. I'll get to work on these head issues, and quit fighting myself so much!

[Whatnow24 0]

I'm supposed to be banded on the 27th and this threat kinda is discouraging me..

If you're all dealing with the same struggles now as before, why go through the 15k spent on the band and a surgery?? I keep going back and forth on whether or not this will work for me........:phanvan

[Jachut 487]

I seriously never thought I'd get to this weight so easily but I thought I'd be "thin" when I got here. I'm really not, I still dont have that smooth figure I always wanted. I didnt have it when I was a teenager so I'm not sure why I thought I'd have it at 40, but our minds work in funny ways.

I would have called myself big bones, I realise that actually I'm not, I'm quite fine framed and that for me, with my healthy weight range being 63 to 79kg, I'm truly meant to be down near the 63kg end. Now that's a weight I've NEVER ever weighed before, but I'd really like to.

However, I didnt realise just how hard I'd have to work to get there, how much weight loss slows at the end of the journey. I'm not really sure I can do it, but never say never!

[lisa_hawaii 1]

ok so im not sure what soft spot is or BP (i no what they stand for - just not sure what it is) I know what I feel and im not sure if what i feel is anything like these...

At times I will eat and then all of a sudden it hurts -- i litterally run to the toilet and start pushing it up to get it out (kind of like a half barf half burp) and only very little saliva with reminance of food comes up - but this can last for 10 minutes or so and the pain can last even longer. and do not try to drink anything to get it down cause it will come right back up and cause the pain to be stronger. I HAVE NO CLUE IF ANYONE ELSE FEELS THIS OR HAS THIS BUT I DONT NO WHAT TO CALL IT

i assumed i wouldnt be able to eat much and that would be that -- eating less, losing weight -- NOT TRUE

i had no clue that the band has a mind of its own -- one day i can eat anything and the next day i cant eat anything --

I ASSUMED that i would have lost a lot more weight by now (9wks post op and only 18 lbs down)

i assumed it would be easier once i was able to eat solids -- not true -- a lot harder!!!

im still learning thsi band -- so hopefully one day i will be ok with it but for today im just confused on how many obsticals people have

[lisa_hawaii 1]

Oh Wheetsin, you've nailed it on the head here. I also get in between 600-900 calories a day, with the exception of maybe once a week where I go over 1000, but never past 1400. I track every BLT(bite, lick taste) everyday. Not always great food choices, but eventually, it's calories in/calories burned, right?

But alas, I woke up this morning and had GAINED 3 lbs. I'm entertaining some articles that suggest I need to eat more, to sustain my resting metobolic rate. EAT MORE?!? How counter-productive does that sound to someone who's fought 160 extra pounds for 16 years??

I am stalling. And trying not to get discouraged. Desperately trying to regroup, and put head over matter.

I expected, by this time, it would be easier.

It's NOT.

I expected I wouldn't think and talk about this band 24/7.

But I do.

I expected the band obsession to ease, if not end.

It hasn't.

I never expected the band to do all the work, but I certainly didn't think I would be "dieting" and struggling this much. I sometimes wish it pulled a little more of the weight around here!

Sorry, done whinning. I'll get to work on these head issues, and quit fighting myself so much!

I know EXACTLY what you mean -- i feel the same way. Funny thing is, i went to my dr and she told me to try and get 200 - 300 more calories in per day -- and i looked at her and said "EAT MORE???" Guess what - i did and the i lost weight immediatly -- i did this for 1 week the slowly went back down to my norm 1000 cal per day. Kind of like kick starting your body i guess, but it worked

[Jachut 487]

I'm supposed to be banded on the 27th and this threat kinda is discouraging me..

If you're all dealing with the same struggles now as before, why go through the 15k spent on the band and a surgery?? I keep going back and forth on whether or not this will work for me........:phanvan

Because with a band, you CAN beat these demons and win the battles. You really can - its very hard work but its possible to do and more than that, its possible to win them and then not relax so much that you immediately put all the weight back on.

personally, I never banked on how important exercise is. That's what made me successful and keeps me successful because I'm still not a perfect eater.

[OH Juli 15]

ok so im not sure what soft spot is or BP (i no what they stand for - just not sure what it is) I know what I feel and im not sure if what i feel is anything like these...

At times I will eat and then all of a sudden it hurts -- i litterally run to the toilet and start pushing it up to get it out (kind of like a half barf half burp) and only very little saliva with reminance of food comes up - but this can last for 10 minutes or so and the pain can last even longer. and do not try to drink anything to get it down cause it will come right back up and cause the pain to be stronger. I HAVE NO CLUE IF ANYONE ELSE FEELS THIS OR HAS THIS BUT I DONT NO WHAT TO CALL IT

That would be called a PB or a productive burp. It's that food saying, "I'm coming up and out right now, and you can't stop me."

Now you know

[ELoo 0]

I definately assumed it would be easier than it is. I knew there would be work involved but I didn't realize it would be this hard.

I thought that I would just forget about food... if anyone has ever taken Phentermine or fen-phen then you know how it feels to care less about food... I thought that the band would make me feel like that, it doesn't. I am still very obsessed with food. In fact, before the band I thought that I just liked to eat and really had a true enjoyment for the way food tastes... I now know that I am totally an emotional eater and that food is a major way of coping for me... being banded doesn't make that part any easier.

I thought I'd be skinny by now... I look the same.

I thought I would have figured it out by now... I haven't. But, I realize I have issues and I am trying to work through them... just don't really know how yet.

I thought I would eat small amounts and be full. I usually experience pain instead of satiety.

I also didn't expect the band to be tempermental... loose one day, tight the next.

I thought I'd be able to eat healthy foods like lean meats and vegetables, which I can but only in micro amounts and then I usually experience pain... but wow does junk go down with ease.

I thought I would love my band... I don't. But on a positive note I don't hate it and I'm not quite sure if I regret it or not?

I never understood head hunger.... I do now. I need the band moved to my brain.

[areellady 1]

Wow!!! What everyone said, Ditto for me.

It was easy in the beginning. The weight DID fly off....and then it just stopped, like Wheatsin said. I am disappointed in myself, more than my band, because I know a lot of my food choices, or the amount that I eat is my fault.

I am glad I have the band. I am glad I did it. I am not gaining weight. I just wish that I would have understood more of the head games that I could play with myself. Its agonizing sometimes.