Last-Minute Nerves

[QuakerOat8 0]

Hi everyone! My surgery date is about 11 days away and I've got some serious last minute nerves and I just need some reassurance that this will be worth it. I'm having to pay for the entirety of my surgery myself because I don't qualify with my insurance, and the idea of spending upwards of $20,000 on anything seems insane right now. I mean I can't think of anything I'd rather spend money on than my own happiness, but still, it's a hard pill to swallow. I've also dieted successfully on my own before, lost 30, 40, 50, even 60 pounds and gained all the weight back after a year or so, so I'm afraid the same thing will happen after surgery and it will all be for nothing. I'm also nervous about how my relationship with my boyfriend will change. On the one hand I am excited for all the positive things I'm hoping my weight-loss will bring to our relationship, but I'm also scared it will change our dynamic. And while I really hate the way I look now, I'm also terrified of loose skin. I'm hoping because I'm young it might not happen, but I have no idea. Any 20-somethings here who can share their experience?

[Matt Z 4,139]

6 hours ago, QuakerOat8 said:

Hi everyone! My surgery date is about 11 days away and I've got some serious last minute nerves and I just need some reassurance that this will be worth it. I'm having to pay for the entirety of my surgery myself because I don't qualify with my insurance, and the idea of spending upwards of $20,000 on anything seems insane right now. I mean I can't think of anything I'd rather spend money on than my own happiness, but still, it's a hard pill to swallow. I've also dieted successfully on my own before, lost 30, 40, 50, even 60 pounds and gained all the weight back after a year or so, so I'm afraid the same thing will happen after surgery and it will all be for nothing. I'm also nervous about how my relationship with my boyfriend will change. On the one hand I am excited for all the positive things I'm hoping my weight-loss will bring to our relationship, but I'm also scared it will change our dynamic. And while I really hate the way I look now, I'm also terrified of loose skin. I'm hoping because I'm young it might not happen, but I have no idea. Any 20-somethings here who can share their experience?

Firstly, totally normal.
Second, TALK ABOUT IT! The worst thing you can do with your significant other is not tell him how you are afraid of what the changes will do to your relationship. Communication is super important, being 100% open and honest makes things easier, because you know exactly what each other is dealing with.

Good luck!

[Jazzy1125 1,010]

Whatever you decide I know you can do it. Matt is 100% correct. You need to discuss this with your significant other and both be on the same page. You will need their support 100% after surgery and you need to also know how they feel.

As far as the investing in yourself.. it is the BEST thing you can do. All our lives we always do for others and this is now our time. I however did the sleeve, which was half the cost of the bypass, but it is what worked for me financially. I also have done the dieting in the past and have gotten down 120 pounds and gained most of it back. For me, this is a tool that became a rule. The rule states, you cannot fall of the wagon because i will not allow you too. I have the will power, my issue is if i do fall off ( the last time because i traveled for work for 3 weeks and had to eat where the group ate) it was hard to get back on. But once i put my mind to something i am good. My mind was determined to do this, for me, and i went in and even up to the moment of surgery, it was like i had a task to do. I never thought of it is a major change to my body.

You got this no matter what!

[Dionne 74 6]

While I am not in my 20's I would comment that I am 10 months post vsg and I have lost 75 pounds and I believe the surgery was the single best thing I have done for myself. I believe it is absolutely worth it. Having said that I would give one word of caution- the surgery is merely one tool and not a magic pill that will fix everything.

There are behaviors I had to address- stress eating/using food to manage my emotions- I started to crochet/ journal and do whatever I needed to do to address the underlying reason for my overeating. I am actually a physician and I have patients who have gained back the weight so it is a real issue but I also have patients who have been successful. The main difference appears to be whether you are willing to do anything to improve your health. I get up at 5am to work out and I usually work out after work also. I use lose it app and document everything I eat regularly and I will do whatever else I have to do to continue to succeed. I was desperate, everything I did failed and I will do whatever I need to do to succeed.

I wish you the best and I believe if you are desperate enough to pay out of pocket for your surgery you are desperate enough to make sure you are successful after your surgery. As for your significant other- I have found that all of my relationships have changed because I have changed - I am willing to speak up for myself and set boundaries more than before and I know myself better so I know what I do and do not want in my life. If he loves you he will come along with you on this journey as in this life we are all evolving- we stop moving when we die and it seems like you want to live!

Good luck and happy holidays!

[1BigHeart 26]

I think I've spent $20,000 on weight watchers, nutri system, McDonald's, and snickers. Surgery is a much better return on investment.

[kristen.bee 10]

hey!! i'm 22, and about 6 months out from surgery. it's 100% the best decision i ever made! i've struggled with my weight ever since i was a kid -- i remember "dieting" for the first time when i was around 8 -- and the surgery has helped in sooo many ways! i haven't had any issues with loose skin so far, but i'm also not all that far along.

i also think you should let your partner know what you're going through right now! i'm sure if you share your concerns with him, he would be able to put your mind at ease a bit.

best of luck to you!! i'm sure everything will go great!!