Single DUE to surgery

[Hop_Scotch 1,630]

19 hours ago, summerset said:

Interesting read.

However, when I've read that only two months after surgery the relationships of these two guys ended... how much weight can you lose in two months? How much attention do these people get to make their partner feel threatened two months after surgery? How many new friends do you gain during this period?

It sounds a bit weird to me. It seems more like these relationships were on their last leg anyway and "surgery" was the scape goat that come along the way the right time.

Perhaps the issues arose before post op - some people undergo at least a six month program before being approved for surgery, if they making changes in that time those changes could trigger issues.

[summerset 5,265]

That could be an explanation because basically all of them reported something like "two months after surgery" and that seems to be a little early for these things to happen.

Anyway, doesn't mean that every second marriage goes down the drain.

[New&Improved 1,780]

On 11/1/2018 at 1:31 AM, AshMarie794 said:

Well 7 pm night before my surgery my fiancé pretty much told me to go F&&^% myself and I was selfish for doing it. And that I had to find a ride the next morning to surgery.

Fast forward to now that I am loosing and feeling GREAT. He doesn't get it and is so negative and controlling. I am finally seeing changes in myself and he pulls the rug out from underneath me and I am left feeling worse than before surgery.

And he is overweight and unhealthy. Doesn't care what he eats or drinks. HATES veggies. Eats out all the time. BUT yet he will go to the gym with me........ to control that situation I am sure.

Just UGH at the point and very stressed out. I hope I don't put myself in an plateau due to stress.

I was amazed to see you didn't dump his arse that night.. In my opinion your deserve better than that..

It is hard to help people see the light and change their ways!

You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of negativity

Obviously the op was talking about unhealthy habits and junk food etc

[AshMarie794 164]

On ‎8‎/‎13‎/‎2019 at 5:22 AM, Mikeyy said:

I was amazed to see you didn't dump his arse that night.. In my opinion your deserve better than that..

It is hard to help people see the light and change their ways!

You shouldn't have to deal with that kind of negativity

Obviously the op was talking about unhealthy habits and junk food etc

We have actually split and gotten back together a few times in the last year. Is it my fault at this point also....yes because I keep taking him back. Even with all my new gained self worth it is still hard. I try and stay positive about everything in life. Especially after surgery. I cherish each day now. It is just very hard. But I still put up with it. Maybe one day I will open my eyes. But idk.....its hard. I feel so stuck just due to financial reasons and family issues.

[AshMarie794 164]

On ‎8‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 9:39 AM, Chiptress said:

On ‎8‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 8:04 AM, AshMarie794 said:

I have been A-Wall from here for a while but coming back I feel especially on this post I needed to update and get advice. I feel my partner is still very jealous of my progress due to comments made to me by male/female it does not matter. He is INSANLY jealous. And that only seems to getting worse. I try and push though and know I love him but its so hard at time. We have talked about working out together (weight training). But he is 6"2 300lbs and can def pull some weight. I am 5'7 155 and I DO NOT want to get big. Maybe tone up what I have and be more lean. Yes we can put together some routines but he does not listen to me about why I don't want to do some things and why I don't lift like him. why I don't stand a certain way. why I don't do this that and the other. Working out together yesterday at the gym all I could do was cry because he wouldn't listen to me. I don't know how to get through to him.....Def struggling to keep my cool. Stay motivated to stay at the gym. To stay in this relationship. I just don't know what to do.......

Probably best not to work out together. He really sounds very controlling. “I don’t know how to get through to him”. Maybe you can’t get through to him. Maybe he isn’t up for you to “get through to him”. I started going to therapy as soon as I made the decision to have this surgery. I knew I wanted to reset my life & choose better for myself in every aspect. Physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually . They say while doing this surgery that you also have to do the head work. To me that’s just as important as losing the weight. Best of luck

I have pretty much gotten to that point where I accept I cant get through to him. The head work is where I struggle with myself. Because in so many aspect of my life I have taken back control and am a whole new person with all new outlooks. But yet with him I cant overcome it. Maybe its the years of I guess you'd call it emotional abuse....idk but I am trying to focus on me and not letting his negativity invade my head space.