For those who had temporary "buyers remorse"

[Rexcom 39]

Often I hear about folks who had "buyers remorse" for a short time after surgery.

If you experienced this....

When did it start, and how long did it last?

Any advice for others if they start to experience this?

Thanks!

[GreenTealael 25,446]

I did not, I won't lie.

BUT

Sometimes when dumping syndrome happens I do start looking for my receipts

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Word of encouragement:

"If wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak..." -Jayne

[Born in Missouri 1,264]

I think it's only natural to experience such feelings. We've made a drastic, often irreversible, alternation to our bodies. We're not feeling physically like ourselves. There may be pain or discomfort, vomiting, Constipation, hunger, lack of hunger... and the list goes on. Probably even more involved are the emotional or psychological changes going on inside of us post-surgery. We know things will never really be the same. This can be both thrilling and terrifying. What if we are one of those weird weight-loss surgery outliers who doesn't lose weight for whatever reason?! We almost convince ourselves that after our first stall we are indeed one of those rare few!

We've invested time, money, starved ourselves in preparation for surgery, had labwork, had to convince a nutritionist that we are committed to the nutritional challenges required, had to convince a psychologist that we aren't nuts, and go through 6 months or more of supervised weight loss by our primary doctor. We also read about all the pros and cons of WLS until our eyes practically bled from fatigue and overuse. Arghh!

As for advice, it's pretty much the same advice for most wholesale changes we face. Time. Time heals, but time also moves so s l o w l y.

Posting this topic and asking questions and for advice was a smart move. Just bringing the subject to the front of your consciousness validates it's importance to you. Some may dismiss "buyer's remorse" as an inconsequential little thing. I'd disagree. It's something we've all had to deal with to a varying degree, whether we're able to admit to ourselves or not.

My advice is to keep thinking about upcoming goals... how you'll look in smaller clothing, how you'll feel when you finally weigh less than 200lbs, how it feels to eat half or a fourth of something and feel full. Hey, just creating a list of things to look forward to may help to counter that feeling of buyer's remorse. And, of course, leaving long, rambling comments like this one may help, too. Who knows?!

[Frustr8 7,886]

Green Tealael yours reminds me of my older son (RIP Kevin-still miss you!)
If it's and buts*
Were fruits and nuts*
We would all have a Lovely Christmas!
Well in Your case, Hanukkah, but you get the drift. I get fruit and nuts, you get Hanukkah gelt, maybe it balances out?

[MargoCL 677]

I would say I think I'm one of the few that did not / has not experienced "buyers remorse." But, I can also say for myself (and truly me alone), I did all the research I could possibly do. And I don't buy / do things without doing my due diligence. Even my impulse buys are based off detailed research.

When I made the final decision to go through with the surgery, I was ready and ready "now." 10 weeks later, super slow progress (IMO), several stalls... I still have no regrets or buyers remorse.

[CrankyMagpie 509]

I have little flashes of it, I guess? (Sleeved 10/3/18.) When I was still miserable, post-op, was probably the worst. I didn't have the full-on "what have I done to myself?" reaction that a lot of people describe, but I was definitely having some feelings, not too many of them positive. I was only really miserable for maybe two days after surgery day, though, and the feelings receded quickly.

Now I'll think about wanting to have a croissant, or something I enjoy, and be a little sad I can't. (I know that I will probably be able to have a bite or two of any treat I want again in the future, and some of those treats won't even be all that appealing, so it's really only a little sad. Certainly not sad enough to risk it so early, right?) Or I'll think about the future and about how there's a good chance I'm going to have trouble "blending in" at certain restaurants or in certain crowds of people, forever, and I get a little sad and think "maybe I shouldn't have..." but that's as far as I get, because of course I should have had this surgery. I had a comorbidity that made it pretty much a necessity.

A doctor I respect once said (I'm paraphrasing) "Regret comes from indecision. If you're unsure of your decision, that's a recipe for regret." I think that's often true. If you're fully prepared (as much as one can be, just reading others' experiences and statistics and such) and really, really sure this is the right thing for you, I don't think you'll spend a lot of time regretting your choice. But a little? Yeah, I think that's likely, because, as Missouri-Lee said, it's an expensive and irreversible decision, and those always come with "what ifs."

[elcee 3,342]

Yes I would like a refund for my lapband now that it is no longer working, the money would be useful to help pay for my revision

[Frustr8 7,886]

Yeah it sure would, shame we cannot turn such things for a refund!

[Phinley 94]

Yeah, I went through a short "what the hell have I done to myself" phase during the 2 week liquid only diet post-op.

Went away when I internalised that there's no "undo" button and they can't put my stomach back in. No sense stressing over something you can't change.

Then the pounds started dropping and it was only happy thoughts from there.

[rs 1,473]

I think it's only natural to experience such feelings. We've made a drastic, often irreversible, alternation to our bodies. We're not feeling physically like ourselves. There may be pain or discomfort, vomiting, Constipation, hunger, lack of hunger... and the list goes on. Probably even more involved are the emotional or psychological changes going on inside of us post-surgery. We know things will never really be the same. This can be both thrilling and terrifying. What if we are one of those weird weight-loss surgery outliers who doesn't lose weight for whatever reason?! We almost convince ourselves that after our first stall we are indeed one of those rare few!
We've invested time, money, starved ourselves in preparation for surgery, had labwork, had to convince a nutritionist that we are committed to the nutritional challenges required, had to convince a psychologist that we aren't nuts, and go through 6 months or more of supervised weight loss by our primary doctor. We also read about all the pros and cons of WLS until our eyes practically bled from fatigue and overuse. Arghh!
As for advice, it's pretty much the same advice for most wholesale changes we face. Time. Time heals, but time also moves so s l o w l y.
Posting this topic and asking questions and for advice was a smart move. Just bringing the subject to the front of your consciousness validates it's importance to you. Some may dismiss "buyer's remorse" as an inconsequential little thing. I'd disagree. It's something we've all had to deal with to a varying degree, whether we're able to admit to ourselves or not.
My advice is to keep thinking about upcoming goals... how you'll look in smaller clothing, how you'll feel when you finally weigh less than 200lbs, how it feels to eat half or a fourth of something and feel full. Hey, just creating a list of things to look forward to may help to counter that feeling of buyer's remorse. And, of course, leaving long, rambling comments like this one may help, too. Who knows?![emoji3]

Excellent response

[Deepseamariner 19]

Only when I see a medium rare 20oz ribeye, baked tater, salad and a ice cold beer.

But it I had my time with that, now it’s on to a healthier me.

[FancyChristine15 810]

I haven't regretted it yet. A friend of mine had it about 6+ months before me, and she told me "the first month is the hardest", and I kept reminding myself of that if I had a rough day, and she was absolutely right; the first month was the hardest by far.

[S@ssen@ch 745]

I can't say that I had a full on regret, even in the immediate post-op recovery period that was nothing like anybody else's descriptions. However, I do have occasional flashes where I kind of mourn the loss of eating as my coping mechanism/source of joy. That's not to say that I regret by any means and honestly, isn't that what I signed up for?

Someone else quoted that remorse comes from indecision. I agree and I believe that's at the very heart of this. This isn't my first rodeo into bariatric surgery. I had lap band in 2005, which was for the most part successful, but had to have it out due to complications. I lived without the band until I returned to some pretty bad habits and gained all of my weight back. It took me almost 2 years to decide if I wanted to go with another bariatric surgery, but once I decided, that was it. I reached a point where I admitted that I just didn't have the tools to go it alone. I committed to the surgery and I no longer considered alternatives.

That's my story, but it is very common for bariatric surgery patients to experience regret. And I can't say it any better than @Missouri-Lee's Summit. She totally hit the nail on the head.

[SueperGal 93]

As FancyChristine mentioned, the first month was very tough, tougher than I was expecting, and for different reasons. I had done a ton of research, but nothing prepared me for what it would actually be like to have so much restriction and have to drink the same thing all day, every day. For some reason, I had it in my head that I could still eat the same, just less, once the liquid part was over. That is sort of true now (5 months out), but it was tough to accept the first few weeks when I was having a hard time even getting liquids in. I was so worried that I had not thought it through enough and didn't do enough research and now this is life (it's not, but I'm a drama queen). The pain, the restriction, and the new lifestyle all happened at once and it was a lot to deal with. I have had flashes of "remorse" since when I realize that life is not the same, but it only lasts a second until I am able to remind myself why I did this in the first place.

[abefroman329 704]

Yes. It lasted from a few weeks after surgery until I started seeing real results.