Discouragement about self-pay surgery in Tijuana

[MSG0310 11]

Hi everyone, I hope I can get some support from this page because I’m lacking in it everywhere else. I have a HUGE family (both physically and quantitatively, lol) and it seems that no one is 100% supportive about my surgery. It’s making me question my decision.

A little about me, I am about to turn 27 and I am 5’1, 247 lbs. I have PCOS and a history of diabetes and heart attacks in my family. Every day I fear I’m closer to death with my lifestyle. I have tried everything under the sun: specialized obesity clinics, endocrinologists, low carb diets, ketogenic diets, juicing, and even physician-supervised phentermine plan (I got heart palpitations as a result of the phentermine drug and never went back).

All my family keeps telling me is that I can do it naturally, and I shouldn’t take such a drastic step. They are also extremely worried about me going to Tijuana, Mexico, even though my own family OB-GYN referred me to this surgeon because she got the surgery herself with the same doctor. I figured if my own family surgeon is comfortable enough with this doctor then why shouldn’t I be?

2 years ago when I first started researching I had a different insurance which would cover the surgery here in the US. I got all the preliminary appointments out of the way except for the endoscopy. My current plan won’t cover it, and I have the money for the surgery and I would like to get it done. But- They keep putting doubts in my mind, to the point where I’m fearful of a few things:

1) I’m afraid of dying on the table. I know the surgery is laparoscopic and has a high success rate, but my family is so afraid of surgery that I’ve gotten extremely bad anxiety about this. They think that because I’m going to Mexico, the level of care will be low. The fear of this wakes me up at night.

2) Fear of depression because of lifestyle changes. They tell me I can’t handle not being able to eat and drink at the same time, or not being able to gorge on food, or use food as a crutch. I personally believe I could deal with all of this, if it meant I could be happy and healthy in my body for once in my life.

I have been researching this for 2.5 years since 2016, and I still don’t know what to do.

Has anyone dealt with this kind of problem? And if so, how did you deal with all of the doubts, fears, worries, and risk of going out of the country?

[MargoCL 677]

First of all, the decision to have surgery is all yours. It doesn't fall on your family, friends, etc. The success of the surgery is also all on you. You have to be both mentally and physically ready to make and accept the changes that are about to happen, understanding that the weight did not come on overnight and it will likely not be lost overnight as well.

I had my surgery in the US, but I've read plenty of successful posts from those that have had their surgeries in the Mx. Whether you have surgery in the US or Mx there will be fears and worries associated with it. It's natural. Making sure you set yourself up for success after surgery is key. Find a support group that you can join and have some people to speak with prior to and post surgery for additional support. You have a whole online family of support as well.

Whatever you choose, remember there are people behind you supporting you.

[GreenTealael 25,328]

Hi! Apologies about the family stressing you out , we all would hope our supports would be supportive but not always the case. You've got us now!

I did not have my surgery in Mexico so I'm no help there... But there are a lot of threads of people's experiences if you search and this site even owns/is affiliated with a hospital in Mexico!

I can tell you eating/drinking at the same time is not a big deal (it's only 30 mins, you can start now to get a feel for it), the other lifestyle changes are not that hard if you are resolved to make it your lifestyle. Everything will be slightly easier (mentally) if you want it and are less resistant. Even complications will seem less heavy with a hopeful outlook (all aspects of life) because you are more willing to face them and win.

Surgery is a tool (exercise is a tool, proper diet is a tool) your body is the project. Maintenance is required to keep it in good form. You will have to work. It will not be easy, but it will be rewarding.

What ever you choose, we support you!

Edited October 18, 2018 by GreenTealael

[Tess0554 36]

On 10/18/2018 at 00:31, MSG0310 said:

Hi everyone, I hope I can get some support from this page because I’m lacking in it everywhere else. I have a HUGE family (both physically and quantitatively, lol) and it seems that no one is 100% supportive about my surgery. It’s making me question my decision.

A little about me, I am about to turn 27 and I am 5’1, 247 lbs. I have PCOS and a history of diabetes and heart attacks in my family. Every day I fear I’m closer to death with my lifestyle. I have tried everything under the sun: specialized obesity clinics, endocrinologists, low carb diets, ketogenic diets, juicing, and even physician-supervised phentermine plan (I got heart palpitations as a result of the phentermine drug and never went back).

All my family keeps telling me is that I can do it naturally, and I shouldn’t take such a drastic step. They are also extremely worried about me going to Tijuana, Mexico, even though my own family OB-GYN referred me to this surgeon because she got the surgery herself with the same doctor. I figured if my own family surgeon is comfortable enough with this doctor then why shouldn’t I be?

2 years ago when I first started researching I had a different insurance which would cover the surgery here in the US. I got all the preliminary appointments out of the way except for the endoscopy. My current plan won’t cover it, and I have the money for the surgery and I would like to get it done. But- They keep putting doubts in my mind, to the point where I’m fearful of a few things:

1) I’m afraid of dying on the table. I know the surgery is laparoscopic and has a high success rate, but my family is so afraid of surgery that I’ve gotten extremely bad anxiety about this. They think that because I’m going to Mexico, the level of care will be low. The fear of this wakes me up at night.

2) Fear of depression because of lifestyle changes. They tell me I can’t handle not being able to eat and drink at the same time, or not being able to gorge on food, or use food as a crutch. I personally believe I could deal with all of this, if it meant I could be happy and healthy in my body for once in my life.

I have been researching this for 2.5 years since 2016, and I still don’t know what to do.

Has anyone dealt with this kind of problem? And if so, how did you deal with all of the doubts, fears, worries, and risk of going out of the country?

Same here I’m getting mine done next month and told family I’m getting it done in San Diego. Got tired of negative remarks

[AJP 132]

I have pcos. Diagnosed when I was 21. It will never get better on its own. For the first time in over 20yrs my sugar, cholesterol, and blood pressure are finally normal again. Cycles are straightening out. No longer on metformin. This is just 4 months post op. Wish I had done it at your age!!! Very easy to gain weight. Swear I would gain 5 lbs over night and take a month to lose it if I could. Very happy with my body returning to what I remember!!!