Surgery is in 3 weeks and feeling very alone

[amanda-xo 5]

HI,

So I have been waiting 2 years for this surgery, and I keep hearing people saying having support is 1 of the most important things.

But I am feeling very unsupported right now, Everyone keeps saying "why dont you try losing weight the "normal" way" ( as if I haven't been trying to lose weight every other way possible)". I dont know how I am going to do this without any help, am I going to be able to break my bad eating habits ? Am I going to be able to motivate myself? How am I going to feel when something goes wrong or I'm not feeling well, will anyone understand or try to blame the surgery.

[kathy060464 43]

HI,
So I have been waiting 2 years for this surgery, and I keep hearing people saying having support is 1 of the most important things.
But I am feeling very unsupported right now, Everyone keeps saying "why dont you try losing weight the "normal" way" ( as if I haven't been trying to lose weight every other way possible)". I dont know how I am going to do this without any help, am I going to be able to break my bad eating habits ? Am I going to be able to motivate myself? How am I going to feel when something goes wrong or I'm not feeling well, will anyone understand or try to blame the surgery.

You have a whole family of virtual supporters right here! Post away with your doubts, fears, anxiety and you will see it's all normal.

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[amanda-xo 5]

Thank you !!!

[crystalwolf 2]

You are not alone.
I am 8 wks post op from the roux-n-y. It is a struggle everyday, but i would not change my mind if given a second chance. In 8 wekks i hv lost a total of 55lbs.. ..and i can move around unlike before.
My experience with old habits ws a true test, too.
How ever, believe me when i say, you body WILL tell you what to est and not eat. You just have to listen.

I believe in you, and you can do anything you set your mind to.
Good luck and blessings on your new journey in life. It will be amazing.

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[bettie.blue 50]

Oh @amanda-xo it is so easy for someone who hasn’t walked this path to say tone deaf things like that. It can be discouraging, even if it was rooted in good intentions. shake it off, if you can. You should be proud of yourself right now. You’re advocating for yourself and seeking out support, which is so hard. Reach out to friends, family, and other loved ones who aren’t so judgey and tap them as a resource. You also have us here.

[amanda-xo 5]

thanks @bettie.blu i will definitely try to shake it off.

[Queen Grandma 22]

Maybe a support group from your clinic? I had lots of support, except from my mom. The person that mattered most. I had surgery 5 days ago and day one, she came around. I had my surgeon chat with her. My main reason to have surgery to put my diabetes in remission. She felt my complications with that horrid disease were better than my new challenges. Give them a chance, they will see the positive changes and be so proud.

Sent from my SM-G955U using BariatricPal mobile app

[1BigHeart 26]

You are strong! I've felt alone at times, but have been finding good support in unexpected places like this forum and family that I never ever thought would support me in this endeavor. Dealing with the "unknowing advisors" (You know them...."Just eat healthy, go Keto, etc.") is tough. My best response is to smile and say, "I'm doing what's best for me." You got this!

Edited October 2, 2018 by 1BigHeart
spelling

[MargoCL 677]

@amanda-xo, you state you don't have supporters; have you told many people that you are having the surgery? For me, personally, I told 4 people - My BF (he lives with me), my mother, my boss, and one of my closest friends. I told my boss and friend because they are supportive and understanding and I knew they wouldn't look at me different "tomorrow". My BF and mother have been on this train with me since the idea first came to fruition. They have been my rocks and still are. They don't criticize me if I do something wrong and they don't correct me. They are there to allow me to make my choices, mistakes and hold my hand if needed. I'll add when I made the decision to have surgery, it was after years of failing at every option out there.

Aside from finding someone in your inner circle to confide and trust in, reach out to local support groups for that one on one, and don't forget you have a wide web of support here.

[FluffyChix 17,415]

The inner motivation and fire--the will and drive to succeed must reside within yourself. External support and motivation will only go so far in helping you reach your goals.

BUT, as long as you work on developing both your inner self and also developing a support system that consists of your surgical team/RD/psychologist, and recruit a RL support group (usually through your surgeon or RD), and you hang here with us, you WILL experience success.

Congrats on getting to this point. You can do it!