Dating

[GreenTealael 25,336]

Good to know about CMB. I’ll let my brother know to monitor our mother’s credit/identity cause I know she was on that app for a bit. Thanks!

Love life? I’m presently in a long distance marriage it feels like. He’s in SF this week and was in the city last week. I think he’ll be relatively local for a month or so after that. I just keep telling myself that now is the time for us to get our hustle on career wise and it’ll be worth it in the long run. Ah well, silver lining is it gives me plenty of time to focus on me and my fitness goals!

[emoji122] Viciously[emoji122] protect[emoji122] your marriage[emoji122]

[emoji738]

[sgc 538]

I came up with a new strategy. I have been on eHarmony which feeds you a handful of new matches every day. They have their own canned ice breakers. I'm just going to message every single new match each day. If one responds back, I'll check out their profile and see if I'm interested. It's basically using eHarmony like Tinder.

[GreenTealael 25,336]

2 hours ago, sgc said:

I came up with a new strategy. I have been on eHarmony which feeds you a handful of new matches every day. They have their own canned ice breakers. I'm just going to message every single new match each day. If one responds back, I'll check out their profile and see if I'm interested. It's basically using eHarmony like Tinder.

Nice hack! Let us know how it turns out!!!

[sideeye 1,440]

Spent two hours mildly tolerating a navel-gazing, pseudo-intellectual, self-satisfied Peter Pan who then called after me as I left “Call me if you want to hang out, or fool around!”

On one hand, this was such an absurd thing to say to a first date that it had me snickering all the way home. But on the other hand - anyone not wanting to jump back into the dating pool because guys won’t want to sleep with you? Not going to be a problem.

...and no, I will not be calling him.

Edited February 18, 2019 by sideeye

[GreenTealael 25,336]

11 minutes ago, sideeye said:

Spent two hours mildly tolerating a navel-gazing, pseudo-intellectual, self-satisfied Peter Pan who then called after me as I left “Call me if you want to hang out, or fool around!”

On one hand, this was such an absurd thing to say to a first date that it had me snickering all the way home. But on the other hand - anyone not wanting to jump back into the dating pool because guys won’t want to sleep with you? Not going to be a problem.

...and no, I will not be calling him.

Who's navel was it? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You are absolutely badass !!!

[sgc 538]

13 hours ago, GreenTealael said:

Nice hack! Let us know how it turns out!!!

Not expecting much. Still need personality and looks, neither of which I possess.

12 hours ago, sideeye said:

Spent two hours mildly tolerating a navel-gazing, pseudo-intellectual, self-satisfied Peter Pan who then called after me as I left “Call me if you want to hang out, or fool around!”

On one hand, this was such an absurd thing to say to a first date that it had me snickering all the way home. But on the other hand - anyone not wanting to jump back into the dating pool because guys won’t want to sleep with you? Not going to be a problem.

...and no, I will not be calling him.

I always hear these stories and yet I can't even get a response to my message let alone a date. I would feel to intimidated to ask to fool around on the first date. This guy probably gets many dates and women keep complaining about him. I think he is what women want.

[sgc 538]

Oh and I forgot, my results so far. One woman responded last night to two of the five canned questions but did not ask me any questions. This morning I noticed she's moved on and blocked me so WTF? Why respond to two questions and then immediately block me? I'm guessing she was drunk. Perhaps I dodged a bullet.

[GreenTealael 25,336]

1 hour ago, sgc said:

Oh and I forgot, my results so far. One woman responded last night to two of the five canned questions but did not ask me any questions. This morning I noticed she's moved on and blocked me so WTF? Why respond to two questions and then immediately block me? I'm guessing she was drunk. Perhaps I dodged a bullet.

All seems fair in love and war...

[GreenTealael 25,336]

Tea time!!!!

Must be spring fever ... Lol

A few of my Exs are back in full force trying to...

Get me back? Disturb my peace? Whatever... Nope, Not happening. Castaway included. I'm learning to defend my Island viciously.

So the guy I met from Bumble... So far a winner winner vegan dinner lol

We turned a corner and are really connecting. Turns out he was worried about the same things I was when dabbling in online dating, inauthentic people, so he was hesistant to invest.

Understandable but he almost lost me. Lol

I'm going super slow because honestly dating has been exhausting. But so far not bad...

How is everyone else's dating adventures going?

[sideeye 1,440]

Been on around five dates - only one hilariously dumb, the others were 6 or 7 out of 10.

But I am really busy and exhausted so frankly I’m not really following up on anything below an 8 (and I’m talking date quality here, not attractiveness). No one sparked enough yet to make me WANT to pursue date two. I may go on another date with an EMT, but he’s borderline as well....

What I will say is that dating has stopped being a terrifying trial. That plus not needing to recharge my introvert batteries as much has made this all much easier. I don’t have to hype myself up anymore, it’s just going out for a drink. The playing field feels a lot more balanced.

I am THRILLED to hear a Bumble guy is working out for you! Keep us posted!

I wouldfeel to intimidated to ask to fool around on the first date. This guy probably gets many dates and women keep complaining about him. I think he is what women want.

Good lord, why would you read that tale and come away thinking he’s what women want? He got one date. I listened to him yammer, then never contacted him again. So no, unlikely to be what women want - he looked good on paper, but in person he washed out.

Edited March 1, 2019 by sideeye

[sgc 538]

On 3/1/2019 at 12:03 AM, sideeye said:

Been on around five dates - only one hilariously dumb, the others were 6 or 7 out of 10.

But I am really busy and exhausted so frankly I’m not really following up on anything below an 8 (and I’m talking date quality here, not attractiveness). No one sparked enough yet to make me WANT to pursue date two. I may go on another date with an EMT, but he’s borderline as well....

What I will say is that dating has stopped being a terrifying trial. That plus not needing to recharge my introvert batteries as much has made this all much easier. I don’t have to hype myself up anymore, it’s just going out for a drink. The playing field feels a lot more balanced.

I am THRILLED to hear a Bumble guy is working out for you! Keep us posted!

I wouldfeel to intimidated to ask to fool around on the first date. This guy probably gets many dates and women keep complaining about him. I think he is what women want.

Good lord, why would you read that tale and come away thinking he’s what women want? He got one date. I listened to him yammer, then never contacted him again. So no, unlikely to be what women want - he looked good on paper, but in person he washed out.

But you did go out with him once. He probably had other dates lines up as well. I can't even get a woman to respond to any of my messages, much less a date. He didn't reel you in but he probably has others.

[RoRoKitty 183]

I had today one of the best dates ever! Handsome, funny, smart, we have same music taste, do same silly things, he loves cats, he is a great kisser ahem, and he had a wls four years ago!
I am sleeping on my pink cloud today! Goodnight y’all !

[sideeye 1,440]

5 hours ago, sgc said:

But you did go out with him once. He probably had other dates lines up as well. I can't even get a woman to respond to any of my messages, much less a date. He didn't reel you in but he probably has others.

If it helps, I can tell you what made me pick him out of a lineup on Bumble: good photos (not mirror-selfies, with good lighting, photos that had been taken by another person or possibly by a tripod I guess), self-confident conversation when we texted, good sense of communication boundaries, seemed witty, we had similar interests. That’s what made me contact him. The number one thing I avoid in these profiles is any sense that I am going to have to spend the date cosplaying as the guy’s therapist. Stuff like “I just got out of a long term relationship”, “hoping someone will see my true value”, any vibe of self-pity or “prove you’re worth it”? I run like the damn wind. I have enough issues with the patriarchy without having to coax someone along during a first date.

He probably does have other dates lined up. Good luck to those ladies, because I had no qualms about throwing this particular fish back. But seriously - don’t focus on the other guys. They don’t matter to you, at all. They do not stand between you and women, and it’s not a good use of your time to focus on them.

I can’t speak for all women of course, but I do not open my dating app and think “I will contact five of the men on this app” and rate them against each other to select those five. I just select the guys who appeal to me. There’s no competition between the guys for me, never crossed my mind to think that way. I just contact the guys I like, based on the contents of their profile. Focus on presenting the most appealing (and truthful, obviously) version of you. And then be confident that you are likeable just the way you self-represented.

Make sense?

[GreenTealael 25,336]

On 3/1/2019 at 12:03 AM, sideeye said:

Been on around five dates - only one hilariously dumb, the others were 6 or 7 out of 10.

But I am really busy and exhausted so frankly I’m not really following up on anything below an 8 (and I’m talking date quality here, not attractiveness). No one sparked enough yet to make me WANT to pursue date two. I may go on another date with an EMT, but he’s borderline as well....

What I will say is that dating has stopped being a terrifying trial. That plus not needing to recharge my introvert batteries as much has made this all much easier. I don’t have to hype myself up anymore, it’s just going out for a drink. The playing field feels a lot more balanced.

I am THRILLED to hear a Bumble guy is working out for you! Keep us posted!

I wouldfeel to intimidated to ask to fool around on the first date. This guy probably gets many dates and women keep complaining about him. I think he is what women want.

Good lord, why would you read that tale and come away thinking he’s what women want? He got one date. I listened to him yammer, then never contacted him again. So no, unlikely to be what women want - he looked good on paper, but in person he washed out.

I whole heartedly agree. You deserve the best!!!

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Edited March 4, 2019 by GreenTealael

[Frustr8 7,886]

And every woman deserves a man who can make her forget her heart was ever broken.