Keeping my mouth closed

[veehappy 6]

I only told my Dad and 2 girls at work to begin with, I told my sisters the Saturday before my Monday surgery and my son somewhere in between them. Now I tell everyone! I chose to do this for me and so far everyone has been very supportive of me. I am very happy that I haven't had to listen to any snide remarks because at this point in my life I would probably tell them to jump off a bridge!

I see so many unhappy people many due to their weight that I want them to know that there are options

[ZGal 84]

On 11/4/2018 at 2:31 PM, AEdoesRnY said:

Here's the email I sent with the subject line "Ground Rules (so far)". I sent this email to my sisters and parents about a week and a half after surgery. My family lives far away (I'm in MN, they're in NYC, New Orleans, and Oakland) which is part of why I approached it in email.

So these will, I’m sure, be ever evolving, but just a few quick things that have occurred to me so far:

- NO commenting on my weight loss unless I initiate. I reserve the right to be prickly about it - it’s a complex thing and if you haven’t read the Roxane gay article yet then do and I’ll keep bringing it up over and over. I will at times send you things like “wow look at the difference” or “wow this fits”. You may respond to these in a celebratory whatever way, but under no circumstances are you to initiate such discussions.

- NO “I’m so proud of you” or “you’re a hero” or “you deserve it” or “just think about how amazing it’ll be to be ____”. It annoys me and mildly pisses me off for a variety of reasons ranging from highly legitimate to petty but still there.

- NO “oh I’ll have liquids only in solidarity” or asking for dieting advice. I’d love to talk about cooking and food and nice meals or whatever, but my thing is bound to be enormously different from what you are doing/needing/trying and I don’t want to be treated like guru or whatever, don’t want to have to advise. Again, I may initiate this but you don’t get to. Sorry!

-FEEL FREE to ask me how I’m doing generally and check in and stuff, just keep it general and not too pointedly about weight loss.

That’s what I’ve got for now. THX!

Thank you for sharing this!