Do You? You know use that word!

[j_war06 0]

Sorry, I had to leave real quick. Now I'll respond: You're absolutely right. I would definitely have to walk in the victim's shoes to get the whole perspective. I can only speak from my perspective obviously and I should have taken that into consideration before posting. There are some real winner situations on the other side of the spectrum that I have encountered and witnessed over the years that makes me biased to say the least!!!!! And...of course, there's the fact that my husband and son-in-law are both cops and good ones...so yes, I admit I'm biased. I just get kind of defensive (I probably shouldn't but it's in my nature..!!..it's something I'm constantly working on!!!) when the cops are all lumped together and believe me, at times, they do get an unfair rap...just like any other occupation, there's the good ones and the bad ones!!

I understand, and Im sorry that I lumped them together like that, but I have lived in a town and a city, and nothing seems to change. I have a couple of friends that are GOOD COPS. But most of what I have experienced has been completely unhelpful. I mean, one cop left me stranded in downtown Corpus Christi with a visibly messed up man who had just broken the door on my car and put dents in top of it, as well as jacked up a friend of his for no reason. I TOLD the cop what was going on, BEGGED him to help me get gas and get it to my car and help me out with HIM, but he just dismissed me and drove off. I guess he thought I was crazy or drunk or something! IDK? But I was finally rescued by a friend of mine. And ofcourse HE had to come with, and almost killed us trying to light a cig in a car with gas fumes in it!

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Sorry, I had to leave real quick. Now I'll respond: You're absolutely right. I would definitely have to walk in the victim's shoes to get the whole perspective. I can only speak from my perspective obviously and I should have taken that into consideration before posting. There are some real winner situations on the other side of the spectrum that I have encountered and witnessed over the years that makes me biased to say the least!!!!! And...of course, there's the fact that my husband and son-in-law are both cops and good ones...so yes, I admit I'm biased. I just get kind of defensive (I probably shouldn't but it's in my nature..!!..it's something I'm constantly working on!!!) when the cops are all lumped together and believe me, at times, they do get an unfair rap...just like any other occupation, there's the good ones and the bad ones!!

I am the volunteer nurse on a police forum. When the guys are sick, injured, their wives are in the hospital... I am the one they call/email for info and support. I get what you are saying, I am the SAME way. I'll defend them to the end. I see THEIR side. I'll defend them blindly, not so great... I know. But I do take their side over the bad guy. I often times see both sides of the story unlike the media. Point taken?

With all that said, there are a verrrrry few minority that aren't like the norm, the regulars, those that went into the profession for a reason. Just try messing with their stats, they will make your life a living hell. Especially if you are a female rape victim screwing with their stats.

My guys on my forum... I adore them. They are like my big brothers. I take what they say to heart because I trust them. And they trust me. No easy task for a non-LE type person. True? They get the dark humor, they understand me and my job. I understand their job as best I can for non-LE. We get along very well and I trust them with everything I have. It's a relationship I can't explain, it just is.

I'll bet you a dollar if I PM you the forum you'll know exactly where I speak of.

[uniqueone 0]

I am the volunteer nurse on a police forum. When the guys are sick, injured, their wives are in the hospital... I am the one they call/email for info and support. I get what you are saying, I am the SAME way. I'll defend them to the end. I see THEIR side. I'll defend them blindly, not so great... I know. But I do take their side over the bad guy. I often times see both sides of the story unlike the media. Point taken?

With all that said, there are a verrrrry few minority that aren't like the norm, the regulars, those that went into the profession for a reason. Just try messing with their stats, they will make your life a living hell. Especially if you are a female rape victim screwing with their stats.

My guys on my forum... I adore them. They are like my big brothers. I take what they say to heart because I trust them. And they trust me. No easy task for a non-LE type person. True? They get the dark humor, they understand me and my job. I understand their job as best I can for non-LE. We get along very well and I trust them with everything I have. It's a relationship I can't explain, it just is.

I'll bet you a dollar if I PM you the forum you'll know exactly where I speak of.

Point taken. I know what you mean about the relationships with LE. I had it for thirty years and still do with some and it defies description. I miss that, believe me but it was time to go. I would be losing money staying..if that makes sense...because of my retirement. Now I'm having a hell of a time trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I think I know where you're coming from on the rape stats (these go to the FBI) and I can see how a small town's stats would/could be skewed big time. I know what you mean re: minorities also. I have often said that there's a whole big bunch of cops who have no business being in that profession.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Point taken. I know what you mean about the relationships with LE. I had it for thirty years and still do with some and it defies description. I miss that, believe me but it was time to go. I would be losing money staying..if that makes sense...because of my retirement. Now I'm having a hell of a time trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I think I know where you're coming from on the rape stats (these go to the FBI) and I can see how a small town's stats would/could be skewed big time. I know what you mean re: minorities also. I have often said that there's a whole big bunch of cops who have no business being in that profession.

Plz check your PMs. I went into a bit more detail there about my friends.

Yeah, small PDs are vastly different from big PDs. World of difference.

You are correct, I can't explain the relationship. It just is.

[uniqueone 0]

I understand, and Im sorry that I lumped them together like that, but I have lived in a town and a city, and nothing seems to change. I have a couple of friends that are GOOD COPS. But most of what I have experienced has been completely unhelpful. I mean, one cop left me stranded in downtown Corpus Christi with a visibly messed up man who had just broken the door on my car and put dents in top of it, as well as jacked up a friend of his for no reason. I TOLD the cop what was going on, BEGGED him to help me get gas and get it to my car and help me out with HIM, but he just dismissed me and drove off. I guess he thought I was crazy or drunk or something! IDK? But I was finally rescued by a friend of mine. And ofcourse HE had to come with, and almost killed us trying to light a cig in a car with gas fumes in it!

Well, thanks, Jodie. I knew a woman who killed herself trying to light a cig while going around a bit of the freeway we call the spaghetti bowl. Talk about sad. What a piss poor way and reason to go. I have to admit..I do smoke though..see that's right up there with me being defensive..I have to work on both of those things!!!

[uniqueone 0]

You aren't smoking while carrying that baby, are you? See I'm telling you to do as I say not as I do!!!!!

[j_war06 0]

Im a smoker too Im 20 and wish I had never started. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOO classic, always said that I could quit whenever I wanted lol! HOW FOOLISH? Now Im pregnant, trying to stop, but its SOOOOO FREAKIN HARD! I definately have cut down A LOT! But Im still working on actually quitting, and once I do, thats it, Im not picking it up again.

I didnt report my rape, because I knew that I could never be kept safe from gang activity if I did, I knew that one way or the other I would wind up dead, and Im not ready to die. I figured it was better to keep it a secret, and I have for months. Im dying to tell my mother, but I just cant...Im really ashamed of it. Not to mention I didnt want it to hit the small town news and my name be plastered EVERYWHERE as a rape victim. I think its just better to keep it all hush hush for now. Maybe in the future I can tell my family.

[uniqueone 0]

Im a smoker too Im 20 and wish I had never started. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOO classic, always said that I could quit whenever I wanted lol! HOW FOOLISH? Now Im pregnant, trying to stop, but its SOOOOO FREAKIN HARD! I definately have cut down A LOT! But Im still working on actually quitting, and once I do, thats it, Im not picking it up again.

I didnt report my rape, because I knew that I could never be kept safe from gang activity if I did, I knew that one way or the other I would wind up dead, and Im not ready to die. I figured it was better to keep it a secret, and I have for months. Im dying to tell my mother, but I just cant...Im really ashamed of it. Not to mention I didnt want it to hit the small town news and my name be plastered EVERYWHERE as a rape victim. I think its just better to keep it all hush hush for now. Maybe in the future I can tell my family.

Well, you're honest at least re: your smoking. WABB, if she has cut down a bunch, will it affect the baby? I wish you wouldn't feel ashamed, Jodie. Have you gotten specific counseling regarding the sexual assault? Because you need it, Kid. See..I have lived in a middle-sized town so long I forget what it's like to live in a real small one though I was raised in one. All I can tell you is secrets like this are no good for you. I understand why you're not telling but keeping them is unfun when it's something as important as this. There's a reason you're not telling your mother. What is it?

[j_war06 0]

Well, you're honest at least re: your smoking. WABB, if she has cut down a bunch, will it affect the baby? I wish you wouldn't feel ashamed, Jodie. Have you gotten specific counseling regarding the sexual assault? Because you need it, Kid. See..I have lived in a middle-sized town so long I forget what it's like to live in a real small one though I was raised in one. All I can tell you is secrets like this are no good for you. I understand why you're not telling but keeping them is unfun when it's something as important as this. There's a reason you're not telling your mother. What is it?

I havent sought counseling because I just really dont like to verbally think about it. I wont tell my mom because Ive already messed up SO many times this year, allowing myself to be raped doesnt need to be added to her plate. Plus I KNOW she will want to go to law enforcement about it (statute of limitations last for 5 years on rape, although if its not reported immediately usually nothing happens). I really need to go talk to my therapist, but Ive got to work 3 whole days to have that much money until I start my new job. Had the rape happened in CC, I would have reported it immediately. But I knew the guy (most of my life) and he's family with the guy that Im seeing right now, and I dont want that to get out of control. THE IDIOT invited me to his birthday party tonight! I was like, "are you serious?" I would NEVER Celebrate your life! The poor guy that Im seeing doesnt know ANYTHING, he just thinks Im being mean....but I think his brother has an idea that something bad happened because he kind of saved me that night. I bit the guy that raped me and put up such a fight, he threw my keys to my car out somewhere and then dumped me out at my guy's house. My guy's brother (my best friend's boyfriend) helped me find them. I still play it over and over in my head and question if it was rape, but everytime I come up with yes, I said "no" I cried and said it and I screamed it....even if I hadnt been drinking at all it would have happened. Im just so embarassed I dont want to tell anyone I know in real life...

LOL! Wow we all prob need to go to bed, we are WAY off-topic! lol

[uniqueone 0]

I havent sought counseling because I just really dont like to verbally think about it. I wont tell my mom because Ive already messed up SO many times this year, allowing myself to be raped doesnt need to be added to her plate. Plus I KNOW she will want to go to law enforcement about it (statute of limitations last for 5 years on rape, although if its not reported immediately usually nothing happens). I really need to go talk to my therapist, but Ive got to work 3 whole days to have that much money until I start my new job. Had the rape happened in CC, I would have reported it immediately. But I knew the guy (most of my life) and he's family with the guy that Im seeing right now, and I dont want that to get out of control. THE IDIOT invited me to his birthday party tonight! I was like, "are you serious?" I would NEVER Celebrate your life! The poor guy that Im seeing doesnt know ANYTHING, he just thinks Im being mean....but I think his brother has an idea that something bad happened because he kind of saved me that night. I bit the guy that raped me and put up such a fight, he threw my keys to my car out somewhere and then dumped me out at my guy's house. My guy's brother (my best friend's boyfriend) helped me find them. I still play it over and over in my head and question if it was rape, but everytime I come up with yes, I said "no" I cried and said it and I screamed it....even if I hadnt been drinking at all it would have happened. Im just so embarassed I dont want to tell anyone I know in real life...

LOL! Wow we all prob need to go to bed, we are WAY off-topic! lol

it's all right to be off topic, kiddo. it's great we can talk about this stuff, i think. now...i have one more bone to pick with you..(don't you LOVE me being your mother #2??) are you really seeing someone new? is that a good idea? well, you can answer me later, 'cause I'm going to bed!!! ...but don't forget to!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Joyouslyme 0]

And how well did law enforcement do with O.J. Simpson? And how well did law enforcement do when the cops finally got called on my ex? And how well were they doing everytime they saw him on the sidewalk outside of a bar visibly intoxicated and possibly drugged up, but left him there? How well did the law enforcement do when he attempted a break in at the club I used to work at? How well would the law have done to prevent a gang from hurting me had I filed my rape? How well did they do the night I ran out of gas and BEGGED them for assistance, and they did nothing? What about the time a lady ran over me at the gas pumps of wal*mart and a police officer drove by at the exact moment it happened? I dont put much faith in them.

What does OJ Simpson have to do with you? Yes, he's guilty of murder.

[Joyouslyme 0]

Screw it. I'm going to go all out on this one. Your friends and anyone that says the word even in a joking matter are ignorant. I correct anyone that says the word. I'm not a weak person and I don't tolerate b.s. It's wrong when we're called fat by skinny people or other fat people. That being said, I am realistic to know that the word is never going to go away. The basis of compassion and empathy is that you apply it to people that you don't even know. You've dealt with a lot in your life and I don't doubt that you're going to raise your baby in a loving and caring matter. You are immature, but having a baby SHOULD change that. Unfortunately, it doesn't always happen that way.

[green 6]

The N-word is a toxic word because not only was it originally used by one race in order to disrespect another race but it is also tethered to a heinous history of slavery. When Black people choose to use this word what they are doing, in my opinion, is "owning" or "taking back" a profoundly poisonous word. This word belongs to them and no one else. It is up to them as to whether they wish to use it or not. No one else has that right!

[HarleyNana 10]

"Screw it. I'm going to go all out on this one. Your friends and anyone that says the word even in a joking matter are ignorant. I correct anyone that says the word. I'm not a weak person and I don't tolerate b.s. It's wrong when we're called fat by skinny people or other fat people. That being said, I am realistic to know that the word is never going to go away. The basis of compassion and empathy is that you apply it to people that you don't even know".

Sharee.....you go girl!

[green 6]

"...compassion and empathy" and politeness towards others are fundamental to any civilized society.