Assumptions

[GreenTealael 25,439]

I've noticed that people assume all kinds of things about me now. I've mentioned needing to walk to a place because I have walked long distance in a few days, and people assume it's specifically for lossing more weight.

I have to explain the benefits of walking beyond weight loss for anyone to be satisfied with my reasons. So disturbing.

People constantly tell me now that I don't need to lose more weight. Many don't know I had WLS and must be thinking I'm trying really hard. I'm not.

I think people assume I have a new found eating disorder. Not present.

Debatable but i'm not specifically actively trying for more weight loss (fat loss, muscle growth yes), I'm just letting my body find it's range. I comfortable where I am, I can stay here or go lower ,my body will pick but I'm not making an effort to stop lossing either.

I think people are obsessed with my weight loss and think I am also. I'm not. It's so weird, it's all anyone around me wants to talk about.

What assumptions have you found/do you believe are being made about you? Are they spot on or way off?

Edited September 3, 2018 by GreenTealael

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

Well, there's always the assumption that WLS is driven by vanity, not health. Whereas I've found for most people it's about long-term health and looking better is just a great perk.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Some are not right, I am not Obese because I am Lazy, Uncaring or Have never tried. At my weight I have walked until my ankles weakened, my dependant edema flared again, I have tried running until I was out of breath, have even subluxed joints trying to,love weights as I have mild-to- moderate case of Ehlors-Danlos a connective tissue disease, Evan if I reduce my weight, which my upcoming RnY on Wednesday September 5th will assist, that will always be,present. My arthritis and breath shortness will diminish but I will still,retain joint deformities, lungs that will never be 100%, I will still retain my slight cardiac deformity but it should not progress further. My 2 artificial knees will not regenerate, the calluses and slight deformities from past fractures will still be there. But guess what, the quality of my,life WILL IMPROVE, although my personal chassis will retain dings , deformities and missing paint, with minimal chug-chug it will still serve to get,my where I am going. And I am grateful for Bariatric Surgery , it keeps me from being smashed into a cube of metal in a Trash Compactor and this Little Engine that Could can keep going on her merry way. And if my headlights shining light someone else's way, what a Wonderful Thing that shall be!

[336Mike 554]

Where to begin...people have assumed I'm sick, that I lost weight because I'm no longer married, that I'm too active (like your walking example), that I need to eat more, that I should have some cookies/ cakes/candies because a litte won't hurt, that I'm too thin, that I need to stop losing (which I have), etc, etc.

The reality is that many have never struggled with weight or they don't care about their weight. And they don't see the health problems I've overcome by losing weight. They can't relate.

So, I'm doing me and living my best life. Sometimes I get it wrong and that's ok I learn and move forward. I'm not trying to impress or be better than anyone else. All I can try to do is be a better me than I was the day before. And as for the assumptions, they can get aggravating but I try to laugh most of it off.

HW = 360
SW = 292
GW = 220 reached 3/7/18
CW = 204 @ 6'5"
156 pounds lost! [emoji106]

[Frustr8 7,886]

And to state although mot bragging,since Mike#336 stated hi , I'll state mine
lifetime HW 355 pounds Oct 2017
CW and PROBABLE SW 307.5
SD September 5th 2018
First GW 299
Second GW199
Final GW 175 or 15 Junior
Surgeon WLW 160
BMI table,140. Height5ft8.5 in
Age 72 years. DOB December26 1945
duration here On Bariatric Pal Dec2017-???

[sillykitty 10,776]

I think it is interesting that many people who know I have had WLS assume that I am done losing weight. It seems to come from a good place. They think I look great, and figure why would I lose more.

[GreenTealael 25,439]

50 minutes ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

Well, there's always the assumption that WLS is driven by vanity, not health. Whereas I've found for most people it's about long-term health and looking better is just a great perk.

I definitely did it for my healthy

[sillykitty 10,776]

3 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

I definitely did it for my healthy

And I definitely did it for vanity

[GreenTealael 25,439]

47 minutes ago, 336Mike said:

Where to begin...people have assumed I'm sick, that I lost weight because I'm no longer married, that I'm too active (like your walking example), that I need to eat more, that I should have some cookies/ cakes/candies because a litte won't hurt, that I'm too thin, that I need to stop losing (which I have), etc, etc.

The reality is that many have never struggled with weight or they don't care about their weight. And they don't see the health problems I've overcome by losing weight. They can't relate.

So, I'm doing me and living my best life. Sometimes I get it wrong and that's ok I learn and move forward. I'm not trying to impress or be better than anyone else. All I can try to do is be a better me than I was the day before. And as for the assumptions, they can get aggravating but I try to laugh most of it off.

HW = 360
SW = 292
GW = 220 reached 3/7/18
CW = 204 @ 6'5"
156 pounds lost!

People definitely think I have a terminal illness, lol

I have to look my best always to combat the idea, exhausting...

[GreenTealael 25,439]

29 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

And I definitely did it for vanity

NOTHING wrong with that!😎

[ChellNC 162]

Like @Frustr8 said, lots of people assume I got so big because I'm lazy or something along those lines. I have health issues that have put me at a disadvantage. Previous meds largely contributed to my weight gain. Hopefully now I have the advantage back in my corner and can finally beat this beast.

[sillykitty 10,776]

7 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

People definitely think I have a terminal illness, lol

I have to look my best always to combat the idea, exhausting...

At work, I used a cover story of an illness, non life threatening or especially serious, to explain how little I eat, and not drinking alcohol.

Despite my "explanation", I'm convinced some people believed I am seriously or even terminally ill. The last meeting I was at with my president in attendance, he avoided me like the plague! My company is non US based, and in that culture serious illnesses are taboo.

So I make a definite effort when I'm around my non US colleagues to look my absolute best, be upbeat and energetic, etc. But it's clearly not entirely working

[LaLaDee 519]

4 hours ago, sillykitty said:

And I definitely did it for vanity

Having WLS and losing the first 70kg (150 lbs or so) was definitely about my health.

However, now that everyone is telling me that I better be “done” losing. I’ve realized I want to lose a little more for vanity.

I always said I’d be happy at Australian size 14 (US 10) but why not see if my body can go any lower? I’m not hurting anyone. I still have a few kg/9 lbs till I hit a healthy BMI so why not? It amuses me to no end that a couple of people have commented that I’m becoming “anorexic”. I mean, seriously!!

[ShimmyShade 93]

I've had so many assumptions made but I think the worst/most shocking one was two weeks post op a close friend of mine accused me of trying to kill myself via surgery and learned others agreed. I was so surprised and angry. I didn't understand how they could think the way I was eating before wasn't killing myself and I was doing this so I could finally live.

[FluffyChix 17,415]

So far no one has said quit losing weight. I'mI'm not too thin until someone has to carry me around in a back pack. assuming people still think, "Hey fatass, you better not be looking at those french fries with desire in your eyes. Keep losing. You're still in the overweight category!" No offense to anyone here who has in the past or is presently being carried around in a backpack due to any ana probs or degenerative diseases. Sorry to Stephen Hawkins as well and anyone with mobility issues. In fact, I should just probably erase this post.