The Yo-Yo of LIFE & SLEEVE

[ChunkyChicTrying 48]

Hi All, Thanks for taking time from your busy day to read this and maybe help a fellow sleever out!

Quick facts I am FEMALE, almost 4 years out from Surgery Sept 2014

Highest weight 347 - lowest thus far 234

currently 297 (fully clothed heavy clothes on phone/key ect.. in pocket at work tonight)

Here I stand at work saying to myself - your almost at 4 years post op - never made goal and have had a 63lb regain whilst saying WTF is wrong with you in my head!

Can I blame 1 other soul NO, it is my fault and solely my fault alone. No one has forced me to graze, or eat items off plan. I allowed the stresses of life to effect me that I somehow YO-YO'd myself to my present state! I was an emotional eater before this journey started and counseling helped greatly. This being said I am taking full charge and abruptly and radically changing everything back to the simple basics. My new health insurance will start on the 20th and the first thing I am going to be seeking is psychotherapy to assist in figuring out ALL MY TRIGGERS; not just the ones I know and can steer from easily. The hard ones that have me eating things absent minded that I don't even know I have ate the item till its gone!

One thing I am fairly certain of is I have not stretched my sleeve out, as if I try to eat to much I completely feel it, and I will get a sick feeling! So despite my piss poor choices and personal planning, I haven't gorged myself to stretch my sleeve. Of course some things go down easier and in greater quantity than I should consume, but alas that is my reason to halt this madness.

The last 2 years have been beyond a roller coaster of emotions with things changing from bad to worse to horrid to acceptable and back again a few times...Nothing I have gone through I wish upon NO ONE EVER! That said I put in a order for my favorite Protein Shake (mixes with Water perfectly and tastes insanely too good), gotten all my Vitamins sorted and will jump to the store to pick up everything else I need to start the full on liquid 30 day pre-op diet I had to do before surgery. I think this is the BEST possible way to reset my mind, actions and allow me the time to get help for therapy along with I hope new friends here to help me along the way by merely listening and offering the advice they can, as I will openly accept all advice!

My Husband recently got me a Cybex 8000 Arc Trainer (i posted a picture of my baby below) - the one piece of gym equipment that I would stay on at the gym for 2-3 hours prior to and just after surgery when cleared to work out! This has me completely wanting to be on it all the time but with the regain every ounce of my body is revolting, and my asthma has started again and that is something that drastically reduced itself when I was 245 and lower! So I plan to start back at 20 min - 2 times a day and grow from there.

My main purpose for this tireless rant is I need those who have had regains advise and or empathy. Though I know I am NOT the only person in the world to face this issue, it feels as such! To make matters worse I am my own worst enemy when it comes to self loathing and bashing so any camaraderie will be a huge blessing to me.

If anyone else has NEVER reached GOAL, FALLEN off track, somehow picked them self up and got it right the second time, please reach out!

I am at the point I am looking at myself as a complete and utter failure for the lack of follow through!

HELP ME!

~ChunkyChicTrying

Edited August 16, 2018 by ChunkyChicTrying

[LaLaDee 519]

I’m not in your shoes, I only a year post op and haven’t experienced any regain (yet). Please don’t beat yourself up. Regain is common. Life happens! I think it’s amazing that you’re taking control again! Have you met with a nutritionist or bariatric doctor? I think you need as much support as possible!

[Books 29]

I am in exaclty the same situation. I am 3 and a half years out never reached goal have gained weight over last 8 months due to stress. Everything you said about how you feel about yourself and your situation is EXACTLY how I feel. I cant believe I let this happen - every day I'm going to start again and everyday something happens that I let knock me down I'm so angry and disgusted with myself, I swore I would never regain and yet here I am. I finally went to my Dr and have been referred to a psychologist I have to sort this out before I regain everything I can't bear that thought. So I can't really give you any advice but I an tell you you are not alone in this, somehow we need to find the strength to turn this around - we have done it once we can do it again. If you ever need to talk or some encouragement please dont hesitate to contact me

[youcandoit89 2]

I'm only a year out and I feel you. I have lost and regain x10. I'm on meds for my depression and it isn't making things better. I have to tell myself the my life isn't over I have to keep trying I will not fail. I dont care how many resets , Keto, counting calories I have to do to teach myself that I can do this. We call can do this.

[LaRein 20]

I am going thru this now. 1 year out, and gaining back. I am considering getting counseling. I know what I am supposed to do, but am sabotaging myself, why?

[Selmeeka 28]

The fact that you are recognizing the problem means you are NOT A FAILURE!! Keep pushing! I haven't had the surgery yet, but you all are so inspirational to me. And be proud of the weight you lost not what you've regained. I know that is easier said than done, however you have all the tools to help you get to your goal. You got this!!

[LaRein 20]

Thank you, you will never know how much I needed to hear this...

[domi 237]

Going to talk with a psychologist has been the best decision in my whole program. Best of luck with you.

[LaRein 20]

Made an appt today, and starting a new support group that starts in a few minutes. I will succeed!

Edited August 20, 2018 by LaRein

[kellz12 2]

Im 3 years out. Started at 342. Lost down to 250. Today I'm at 296. I also am a weight regain. I have no idea where to start or how to start. I hate exercise and I realize that plays a large part in this, but I also can eat absolutely anything and ridiculous amounts of it. I feel as if I have never even had the sleeve.

Sent from my VS995 using BariatricPal mobile app

[NikkiF22 7]

I feel like from being over weight most of our lives food and bad eating is now a habit. One of the most important things I learned from my support groups and my surgeon is that this surgery is not a mental fix. We will still have the mental illness of a person suffering from obesity. Its kind of like recovering addicts that attend AA and NA and say "I am an addict" although they are 7 ..w/e years clean. In our mind we will always be overweight.

You have to have it in your mind that this is what you really want for your life. You can't expect to get this surgery that you did soooo much for and now ruin it for a sweet or a carb because it is not worth it. Your life, your weight and how you feel doing the correct thing will have you feeling SOOOO much better than that one snack or over eat would as that is a temporary fix/feeling.

I would say push yourself to get back on track and look for some support groups they help.

I am 1 week post op. Start weight 260, surgery day 258 and current weight is 241 it is exactly 1 week and 1 days for me.

Edited August 21, 2018 by NikkiF22

[LaRein 20]

The hardest for me being 1 year out is the mental aspect. I started out at 237 my lowest was 174 now I have gained about 15 lbs back. I do not want to go back to where I was. I tried one way, eating right, physical exersize. But now I am going to incorporate my mind & soul. I have started going to a support group for eating disorders. I have learned so much in 2 meetings. And I am meeting a therapist next week. Do not give up on yourself! I will not give up. I am worthy of being healthy and kind to myself as I am kind and caring to others. I will do this. I can do this. I have not come this far to give up now.

Do not give up out there! Seek help.

[magpie26 244]

I'm not in your shoes, and hopefully won't be, but I'm 4.5 months out and I'm 1. Scared of not meeting my goals and 2. Regain. I really never had an issue with food or stress eating or anything that I'm aware of but I'm seeing a therapist for general things but we also talk about my weight issues in the past and my fears for the future. I also (like many ive seen around here) have been become almost obsessed with the numbers, the scale, the calories, carbs, etc. so I'm working on that. I've just seen too many people I know personally fail and I say fail because they gain it all back and don't even attempt to do anything about it! You're awesome and doing something and using this wonderful tool we have! And thank God you still have the restriction, I pray I will continue to have mine, I know my mother does 12 years out. I'm on your side!

[LaRein 20]

I didn't think I was an emotional or stress eater either. But now I do. I have had a good week though and beginning to be motivated again! Good luck!

[BurBur 113]

I am six months post op. I've seen my weight loss begin to slow and it scares me. I'm eating way better than I ever have and the surgery has helped me to do this so much, but I worry about how it will be next year and the year after and so forth. At the moment, my mind and habits feel solid and I want to believe I will be able to do this, that this is the new normal for me, but what if it isn't? Ahhhhhh!!!! I want to hug you and tell you it will all be okay...for you...for me...for all of us, but I can't say that with absolute certainty. I watched my father fail with his bypass surgery and other friends have failed as well, or so it seems. I can tell you this though...my father would have ate himself to death and I think I would have too. He's a big guy, but he's still with the world today and 74 years old. He didn't get exactly what he wanted from surgery, but that is still success in my book. Maybe I won't be my dream self, but I don't think I'm going to expand beyond 475 lbs ever again. My dream is to get to 200 lbs. and consider some skin removal surgeries at that point. I might not ever get the exact self that I want, but I'd like to adopt a different look on eating. Even at my current weight which is still very high...I can tell you I don't hurt anymore and that thought alone makes me cry a little with joy.

My kindred friend: you may not have your dreams full filled exactly to order, but there is still success to Celebrate. If you could love yourself for that, forgive yourself for slipping up, you can move forward in the direction of your choosing. It is so scary, humiliating, frustrating, demoralizing to not be the YOU that you ordered up in your mind when you signed up to butcher your body, but it's never ever too late. You have options and choices. HUGS! Look for and embrace support where ever you can find it.