Christmas Greed

[green 6]

My parents always gave me and my 2 brothers cash and then bought us some things we needed like clothes and necessity items. Stocking stuffer's were always things like deodorant, razors and stuff like that as we got older.

Bummer. So how do you feel about Xmas as an adult? Love it? Or not?

[green 6]

What do you do about family members who spend too much on your kids at Christmas? My in-laws spend waaaayyyyy too much money on my 2 & 4 year old. 500-700$ for every birthday & Christmas since the 4yr old was born. I hate it because it's such a waste at their ages & to spend that amount of money is alot of toys & clothes they don't appreciate & have no interest in. It's overwhelming & it also leaves nothing for anyone else to buy because it just gets lost in the heap. I would rather they gave ONE gift & then the rest in cash to go into a savings account which I have told her we opened for them but my MIL seems to ignore this. Other than try to return the stuff without her knowledge(hard to do with no receipt) I just keep piling it up in boxes, give some away & even regift it. Doing the math, my 2 kids could have several thousands in a savings account now instead of piles of junk in the toyroom.!

Wow! What a waste! Can your husband talk some sense into them? A prezzie and a savings bond would make much more sense on every level, including ecologically. Maybe if he told them that you end up giving some of the stuff away.......simply because there is too, too much?

[marnie723 0]

I've tried asking my husband to tell them this. He says it gives his mother pleasure to waste all this money on the kids so he won't say anything to her. I've tried to get that message out in many ways to her but she says at their ages they can't appreciate money. (& they sure as hell don't appreciate all the clothes & endless toys) It's frustrating because my husband also wants to have the fun of buying them gifts at Christmas which just adds to the pile. He usually forgets what he bought them though & I am the RETURN QUEEN! If he leaves a receipt around & I find it,it's going back & that money goes into a savings acct for the kids. I just can't stand excessive consumption! Well unless it's food & I am trying to work on that with this lapband thing.

[green 6]

What if you explained that some investment made in their names and fewer prezzies now might mean that the kids would receive something very, very nice when they are teenagers: a car or a university education? A downpayment on a house? A trip to Europe? Something that the kids would flip over?

[Chris_NJ 9]

Bummer. So how do you feel about Xmas as an adult? Love it? Or not?

I love it. We appreciated it. I liked getting clothes and stuff like that. I got to spend my money on things I wanted plus my parents gave us 300 $ each lol. We had like 20 people over for Xmas dinner every year which was great !

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Please join me in stamping out Christmas. I am all for celebrating the birth of Jesus but I think that hardly anyone is celebrating that anymore.

It's the all mighty dollar so the stores can make a big profit for the year.

Okay, end of rant.

[green 6]

Please join me in stamping out Christmas. I am all for celebrating the birth of Jesus but I think that hardly anyone is celebrating that anymore.

It's the all mighty dollar so the stores can make a big profit for the year.

Okay, end of rant.

Yep, let's start by stamping out mall Xmas music. :help: It has already started up here in Toronto, Canada, and is playing 24/7. (I would much prefer to listen to Handel's Messaiah which is all about the birth of Jesus.)

[kagoscuba 0]

When the Christians are done with Christmas, the Pagans would like it back...along with their Yule log.

[green 6]

When the Christians are done with Christmas, the Pagans would like it back...along with their Yule log.

Excellent point. :clap2:

[Mariposa Bella 3]

All I want for Christmas is health and happiness for all.

[Marimaru 7]

I've tried asking my husband to tell them this. He says it gives his mother pleasure to waste all this money on the kids so he won't say anything to her. I've tried to get that message out in many ways to her but she says at their ages they can't appreciate money. (& they sure as hell don't appreciate all the clothes & endless toys) It's frustrating because my husband also wants to have the fun of buying them gifts at Christmas which just adds to the pile. He usually forgets what he bought them though & I am the RETURN QUEEN! If he leaves a receipt around & I find it,it's going back & that money goes into a savings acct for the kids. I just can't stand excessive consumption! Well unless it's food & I am trying to work on that with this lapband thing.

I know how some mother in laws are, so this suggestion might be horrible, lol. Maybe you could take your MIL to lunch and just lay it out for her. Tell her you think it's wonderful that she loves her grandkids so much, but after the 'day of opening' most of the gifts go unused and just sit and collect dust. You could even tell her that if she enjoys watching them open so many presents, if she left you with the receipts you could take care of returning the ones they end up not touching to put the money away for later, and that you are perfectly willing to tell you kids when they get older about all the money grandma helped you store away for them.

[wombat712 2]

I give a hybrid of money and gifts to my kids (14 & 10). They are extremely careful and conservative with their own money. (certainly not that way with my money).

They make a list (neither believe in Santa), they both save small items for great-grandma to afford since she's on a fixed budget. My son's list is usually expensive, so I give him a reality check and he usually has to do a second draft (poor kid).

Even without a list, I like to surprise them with something that I know they would like - they just didn't think of it.

My daughter loves art, loves to draw and create things - I bought her an art set with acrylic paints and I'm going to buy her art lessons to teach her how to use them. She's only 10 but this will make her year. And, of course, it's not anywhere on her list.

I probably have one of the smallest budgets on my children - I budget $150 for Christmas for each of them. I have a lot of family so even with that I will spend close to $1000 when I'm being conservative.

It's not about how much and I am certainly against all of the commercialism of Christmas. I am a Christian and I want my children and family to remember what it's all about. With that being said, I LOVE this time of year. I love the decorations, the atmosphere and the music - it just brings me joy.

Yikes - I got a little long winded - please forgive me

[Kat817 19]

My kids have me a little annoyed. When it comes to Christmas they are so greedy which can get expensive when u have 3. They all want these really expensive hand held game systems plus a few other really expensive items. I thought maybe instead of presents this year I would give them 100 bucks each which is less than when we normally spend on them but I think they do not know the value of the dollar. Then if they really wanted this item they could put thier money together and buy one and a game or two. They would have to share the system ofcourse and all agree because if one of them wants something else they wont be able to afford it. My hubby doesnt agree with this idea at all he wants to buy them whatever they want but my kids are so spoinled imo I think they should learn a lesson. I wonder if this is a good idea or maybe I am just being a grinch.

I put the quote up to remind me I was planning to respond to the OP!! My brain is so fuzzy--I needed it in front of me!

My suggestion is this (I am doing this with my granddaughters). Buy ONE game system for all 3 kids as a group gift, make individual gifts of the games. While you are looking at age appropriate games for it for the kids, find one or two that you and DH can play along with them. Then add assorted other things that you know they want, individually, but the big $$$ item is a shared game system.

I have 3 grown kids, and am proud to say (Knocking on wood like a mad woman!) they do not come to me with money woes. They own their own homes, and are financially responsible. I did not teach them $$$ lessons suddenly one Christmas---although believe me the greed monster was alive and well back in the 80's & 90's too!!! We did do our best, as I did as a single Mom for many years, to do as much as we could without putting ourselves in financial jeopardy, or going to what we considered overboard. We worked bedroom makeovers into gifts, clothes, but the best gifts we EVER gave them, we tickets, and trips, and places to go. A concert, or a magicians show, one year a hypnotist show for my son--he was 8 he still roars laughing when he tells about the woman acting like a cow. He does not remember the countless race tracks we bought nearly as fondly---I do, I remember his Dad on the floor with him. Money is fine, but as green has pointed out, it just sits there on Christmas morning, there is no interaction---no laughter.

This is not Christmas oriented, but in regards to the $$$$ one of the best ways I taught my kids how far money goes was to let them be responsible for some of it. When they hit middle school/junior high. They got their own lunch money on Monday morning for the week. If they went wild on Mon. & Tue. or they lent it to a forgetful friend, come Friday, they come home hungry! It was not so long they were physically hurt---but they had to acknowledge they did it to themselves!

When they began cooking they had to help purchase the ingredients---they soon saw why we had hamburger vs. shrimp 4 times a week!!

Let life help you with them, don't hide how finances work.

But for Christmas, I vote presents---and lots of hugs!

Kat

[lindata 1]

Ah, the greed in a little kid's eyes - not a great sight, is it? I'm trying hard not to let my kid turn into a spoiled brat - but it's HARD!!! He's so cute and I want to make him happy. It's hard to reign myself in when I go shopping.

A BIT off topic, but I'm planning on taking my son someday to one of those work holidays where you help people in poor areas build a well or school or something like that. I figure that'll teach him to be grateful for all he has and realize how little others have. I just don't know at what age I'll do it yet. When there's so much surplus in our Americanized lives, it's hard to teach a kid to be grateful for things when things are all around us. Oh boy, that sounds a little preachy!

[janice m r 0]

my family has never wanted anything. i would want something as a young child / teen, it would 'magically' appear. 99% of the time i would not have to mention it twice, never did i have to cry/pout to get it.

since i've had siblings, for Christmas (and other holidays, too but Xmas is the biggie) we've had what my Dad calls "Pick A Pocket". He would have cash stuffed in shirt / pants pockets and we would pick which pocket "our" cash would be in. there was always 1 pocket that had a bit more in it. for Christmas last year, instead of cash, there were checks - 5 figures... jaw dropping ... each kid (and spouses) got one. in addition to the regular gift certificates under the tree. which now that there are grandkids, the gifts are more for them (as they should be), but its just insane!

my dad loves giving cash - completely impersonal ... sometimes i think i'd rather have a well thought out gift than a check.

happy belated anniversary!

would your dad like to adopt me:p