Christmas Greed

[losingjusme 12]

my family has never wanted anything. i would want something as a young child / teen, it would 'magically' appear. 99% of the time i would not have to mention it twice, never did i have to cry/pout to get it.

since i've had siblings, for Christmas (and other holidays, too but Xmas is the biggie) we've had what my Dad calls "Pick A Pocket". He would have cash stuffed in shirt / pants pockets and we would pick which pocket "our" cash would be in. there was always 1 pocket that had a bit more in it. for Christmas last year, instead of cash, there were checks - 5 figures... jaw dropping ... each kid (and spouses) got one. in addition to the regular gift certificates under the tree. which now that there are grandkids, the gifts are more for them (as they should be), but its just insane!

my dad loves giving cash - completely impersonal ... sometimes i think i'd rather have a well thought out gift than a check.

Our 10th anniversary was this week and my husband spent $$$$ on the dinner we had, the gifts, etc. and I felt bad enough that it took away from the enjoyment.

happy belated anniversary!

[blahblahblah 4]

My husband and I think about it this way....You only receive gifts (lots of gifts) for so long...and the rest of your life is spent shelling out gifts to others...

Kids are kids...whether you buy them presents, on Christmas, or not isn't going to make them selfish or greedy... I think that comes from a longer period of time when their whims are given in to.

My kids are still very little, so perhaps my thoughts are skewed...but I say spoil the crap out of them while you can...there are only a few years when you can get away with it...then their adult lives kick in and they get to become the spoilers.

Ok...I'm tired..did that make any sense????

Rain

[Gummiebear 0]

Two of my sons are over 11 and they do not believe in Santa. I tried making a list with them but they dont want to and they refuse to give in to anything but more game systems and big gifts like that. They dont want anything small so even if I gave them what they wanted they would only have one or two things under the tree. My problem is my kids are so used to getting whatever they want for Christmas and birthdays ect they dont understand the spirit of the holiday. For them its all about me me me and what I can get. Thats why I was thinking its time they learned a lesson I am not sure if its a good time or not. My husband really needs an operation for an internally torn intestine and the kids care more for what money we should be spending on them that thier dad needs surgery and we need money to pay for it. Ofcourse my husband would put off this surgery just so he can spend more money on the kids but he gets really sick from the infections this causes. Just seems to me that some priorites need to change and my kids can be a little too greedy. Is that terrible to say? My youngest son is 6 he just wants a couple action figures no big deal he never asks for much.

[Wheetsin 714]

Whether your husband's health or children's toys come first shouldn't even be a question. I'm not sure kids that age necessarily make connections between consequences and seemingly unrelated (and to them perhaps abstract) concepts. I think back to my cousins when they were at that age... I know they couldn't. You don't have any money? Well then write a check, checks aren't money!

[babygrl1234 6]

Two of my sons are over 11 and they do not believe in Santa. I tried making a list with them but they dont want to and they refuse to give in to anything but more game systems and big gifts like that. They dont want anything small so even if I gave them what they wanted they would only have one or two things under the tree. My problem is my kids are so used to getting whatever they want for Christmas and birthdays ect they dont understand the spirit of the holiday. For them its all about me me me and what I can get. Thats why I was thinking its time they learned a lesson I am not sure if its a good time or not.

If they refuse to give in to something smaller then tell them they will get nothing. If they still won't give in, follow through and get them nothing. Maybe it is harsh and they will surely be upset but I'll bet next year they will be much more likely to appreciate any gift.

[Marimaru 7]

This might come out wrong, but if they've always gotten what they wanted, that's why they expect they are going to get everything they want. The ONLY way to break this cycle is to NOT give them everything they want. And, like Wheetsin said, if it's a matter of spending the money on presents vs your husband's health, there should be no contest. Get them something small and tell them their gift is that their father is going to get better so he can be around for a long, long time.

[Daisalana 33]

Well that's true, if it interferes with the health of their dad, they may not understand now, but as they get older they will understand and likely have forgotten about the Christmas they didn't get everything they wanted.

[DerickM 1]

I actually asked the mall santa when I was 8 or 9 for a solid gold toilet for christmas. I was a weird kid

[Gummiebear 0]

I actually asked the mall santa when I was 8 or 9 for a solid gold toilet for christmas. I was a weird kid

LOL too funny

[green 6]

Oh, gawd, how I hated Xmas when I was young! We got those envelopes with cash/cheques but we didn't get anything much in the way of surprises and, well, fun. And it was so humiliating when we would connect with our little cronies later in the day. They had grandparents who were still living and parents who were real Canucks instead of being war-torn European immigrants who just didn't get it and so these kids were awash with prezzies. And we weren't. Ugh! Xmas was a nightmare to me and I still go into a major psychological decline at this time of the year. The Green crudball Xmas experiences never, ever lived up to the North American hype.

When I am smart I arrange for my mate and I to get out of town, well, out of Canada, to tell you the truth, and when I am not smart I spend the season acting out and behaving very, very badly.

Weird thing is, come Jan 1, I am just fine. Completely normal.

[green 6]

I spent one Xmas in Tunisia and another in India. I also spent a few in France. These were much less painful.

[Daisalana 33]

Oh, gawd, how I hated Xmas when I was young! We got those envelopes with cash/cheques but we didn't get anything much in the way of surprises and, well, fun. And it was so humiliating when we would connect with our little cronies later in the day. They had grandparents who were still living and parents who were real Canucks instead of being war-torn European immigrants who just didn't get it and so these kids were awash with prezzies. And we weren't. Ugh! Xmas was a nightmare to me and I still go into a major psychological decline at this time of the year. The Green crudball Xmas experiences never, ever lived up to the North American hype.

When I am smart I arrange for my mate and I to get out of town, well, out of Canada, to tell you the truth, and when I am not smart I spend the season acting out and behaving very, very badly.

Weird thing is, come Jan 1, I am just fine. Completely normal.

I guess that was my point. Even though I'm not spoiled with presents anymore, Christmas is just a happy magical time of year for me, that I get all giddy about. We had lunch at the mall today and they have decorations up and I was bouncing and going 'Look! Crimmas crimmas!'.. and DH just laughed at me.. he's not a huge Christmas fan either (his family doesn't do much in way of any holidays).. so.. what I was saying is that I have such fond memories because Christmas was a spoiling happy fun time..

[green 6]

I guess that was my point. Even though I'm not spoiled with presents anymore, Christmas is just a happy magical time of year for me, that I get all giddy about. We had lunch at the mall today and they have decorations up and I was bouncing and going 'Look! Crimmas crimmas!'.. and DH just laughed at me.. he's not a huge Christmas fan either (his family doesn't do much in way of any holidays).. so.. what I was saying is that I have such fond memories because Christmas was a spoiling happy fun time..

I totally get what you are saying - my husband likes this shitty time of the year - and I can completely relate to your husband's misery. Please be kind to him. You have no idea as to just how painful Xmas can be for folks like me. The other hideous time of the year for me is my birthday and this has nothing to do with my age. My idea of getting through a Xmas or a b'day is to be lying in bed covered with morphine Patches until the day is all over. (Oooh, I think my annual bitterness is starting to leak out. My apologies.)

[marnie723 0]

What do you do about family members who spend too much on your kids at Christmas? My in-laws spend waaaayyyyy too much money on my 2 & 4 year old. 500-700$ for every birthday & Christmas since the 4yr old was born. I hate it because it's such a waste at their ages & to spend that amount of money is alot of toys & clothes they don't appreciate & have no interest in. It's overwhelming & it also leaves nothing for anyone else to buy because it just gets lost in the heap. I would rather they gave ONE gift & then the rest in cash to go into a savings account which I have told her we opened for them but my MIL seems to ignore this. Other than try to return the stuff without her knowledge(hard to do with no receipt) I just keep piling it up in boxes, give some away & even regift it. Doing the math, my 2 kids could have several thousands in a savings account now instead of piles of junk in the toyroom.!

[Chris_NJ 9]

My parents always gave me and my 2 brothers cash and then bought us some things we needed like clothes and necessity items. Stocking stuffer's were always things like deodorant, razors and stuff like that as we got older.