Christmas Greed

[Wheetsin 714]

Adding w/o an edit - I will buy clothes for myself, and things for the house. But I will not by "luxury" things for myself, e.g. jewelry. Our 10th anniversary was this week and my husband spent $$$$ on the dinner we had, the gifts, etc. and I felt bad enough that it took away from the enjoyment.

[Daisalana 33]

Being a spoiled rotten brat who had NO SENSE of the dollar until I moved out of the house and went to college.. Well, 2 things. 1st, it is important to teach them the value of the dollar. That was a HARD lesson to learn on my own. Even to this day, I have shopaholic tendencies that get me and DH in squabbles.. but I've become so much better with my own money. I was a mess when I was 17!

But as for Christmas, maybe this sounds bad, but I remember we always got everythin we I wanted and Christmas was special and it was like a tv kum-bay-ya moment. We don't get a whole lot for Christmas anymore since we're all adults, but we still have wonderful happy warm cozy Christmases. We had so many fond memories, and what not, I love Christmas. It's magical.. and now it's not because of gifts, but the association I had with them as a kid.

My 2 cents, don't have kids either.. but plan to spoil them on Christmas.

Even if my parents gave me $1,000 dollars on Christmas I would have felt disappointed (even if they normally spent $500 for example). Something about the thought in the gift, and knowing they got THIS for ME.. and not handing me cash.

Again, what do I know.. no kids!

[kagoscuba 0]

"Do your children believe in Santa Claus?"

Mine believe in the Holiday Armadillo and that Superman flew all of the Jews out of Egypt...well at least according to Joey Tribbiani.

[anonemouse 1]

And I have a hard time buying things for myself, even though I won't think twice about buying something that costs 5x as much for someone else.

You should see me trying to buy furniture. I get so neurotic over it. I'm stingy in a lot of ways, at least when it comes to the really expensive stuff. I have no problems dropping $300 on a pair of binoculars (I'm an ornithologist, I know I'll use them and love them - plus I researched for weeks before deciding on a pair that was the best you could get for under $1k), but buying furniture makes me nervous. I'll find something that I LOVE and then talk myself out of it, mainly because I'm afraid that I'll spend so much money on something and then decide that I really don't like it in a week or so. Same way with other major purchases.

[Telecia 1]

when my kids were really small all they got were toys. But as they got older and it became more difficult to shop for them on a disability income we started getting a bit creative. Also another reason why I started this was my own childhood christmas memories. 98% of which were not happy ones. I was raised by an aunt and uncle who were financially sound. Their daughter lived with us also and her 2 kids ..

I never lacked for the best designer clothes, had my own room with a huge custom built desk, was encouraged to be into several sports private school etc. I had books out the wazoo and even full collections of some book sets like Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys.

But I hated christmas. 90 % of MY presents were clothing. Socks hats, flannel pj's etc. I would always ask for something and my cousins would end up getting it!

I remember asking for a barbie dreamhouse one year and what did my cousins get. A HUGE Custom built dollhouse that was 4ft high. o.O

Another year I asked for a bike..

Guess what my cousin's BOTH got. Nice shiny new 10 speeds. What I remember most about Christmas is spending hours crying cause I never got anything I wanted and because we would spend days preparing for huge christmas partys that us kids NEVER got to attend.

no we had to go to our rooms while there were guests in the house eating the huge amounts of cookies/candy/cakes etc. We Had to make.

Anyhow so having kids of my own I decided to do things that included them as much as possible. We have a few traditions like christmas light displays, we would hop in the car in the evenings on weekends and drive around town just to see who had the best light displays. Making homemade breads for christmas morning meals. And handcrafted gifts for family.

Now that they aren't into toys as much I tell them to make me a list of the top 10 things they want. And they are told from then on I will TRY. Try to get them what I can but not to expect new game systems or things that costly. Unless I can find them in our price range.

Couple years ago my daughter wanted a guitar. She got one from the local pawn shop for *shh dont tell* 20$ lol.

One year it was (insert that years hot game system) so they got the previous years system with several games (Again local pawn shop). They still get the usual filler stuff. new gloves/hats/scarves/cologne and stocking stuffer things. A couple of music cd's stuff like that.

[Wheetsin 714]

You should see me trying to buy furniture. I get so neurotic over it. I'm stingy in a lot of ways, at least when it comes to the really expensive stuff. I have no problems dropping $300 on a pair of binoculars (I'm an ornithologist, I know I'll use them and love them - plus I researched for weeks before deciding on a pair that was the best you could get for under $1k), but buying furniture makes me nervous. I'll find something that I LOVE and then talk myself out of it, mainly because I'm afraid that I'll spend so much money on something and then decide that I really don't like it in a week or so. Same way with other major purchases.

I'm kind of the opposite, if I love it. I'm very, very picky. It's hard for me to find something I "love" so when I do find it, the cost doesn't matter, I WANT IT. Sometimes I luck out and love = cheap, but not always. I'm also very spontaneous... walking down the aisle, not looking for anything, OOPs I love it, gotta have it, in it goes! Get it home and I don't even have a place to put it, but I love it... so do I take it back or hang on to it because just maybe I'll find it a place...

I've gone with the cheaper things that I didn't love, and I always just end up replacing them because they don't make me happy. Wasted a lot of money that way. (Have a $3800 bedroom suite that's sitting in our basement... that I will never use... feel bad for wasting it, but I don't want it in my rooms... *sigh*)

A few weeks ago I bought new couches for the great room (the ones in there were only 2 years old, but I didn't love them... see how that works?). I didn't even pay attention to what the price was, they were what I wanted. On our anniversary, hubby started the evening off with 10 roses and I was cringing because roses cost so much...

Maybe it's just a matter of how we value things. One of my hobbies is photography and hubby wants to buy me the Canon Rebel XTi digital (a $800 - $900 camera). He's been wanting to buy it for me, but I won't let him. We would not miss the money, but I think it's too much to spend on me. I would spend the same amount on him in a heartbeat. And I'm sure each of those couches was more than that, but I didn't give a frip.

Here's another example. The other day I bought some curtains at Target, about $170 total. I thought they were too expensive and took them back. (I didn't love them once they were hanging). My solution? I ordered about $500 in fabric that I loved, to have panels sewn. It didn't bother me to spend more because I loved it, even though I thought the $170 was too much because I didn't love it.

The house and other people are pretty much my only carte blanches. Even my own hobbies I can't justify the $$$ on.

[Jachut 487]

I really LOVE getting money as a gift - because then not only do I enjoy what I buy but I also enjoy thinking about it, anticipating it and shopping for it.

With 3 kids, 4 years into my degree, 12 years out of the workforce etc its not often that I get guilt free indulgent shopping these days.

But I dont think I'd like to give money to the kids at Christmas. Although we do give MIL or FIL $50 in a card sometimes, when they say its what they want.

[anonemouse 1]

I'd love to get money (or at least gift cards) as a gift. That way, I can get what I want, or at least put it into savings. Hell, I'm a poor grad student, and I can always use extra cash, especially since I'm currently paying off this surgery. Half the time when I get gifts, it's not something that I want or could use, in the first place. I mean, the thought is there, but this stuff just sits around until I finally give it away or throw it out. To me, cash or a gift card would probably be more meaningful than an actual gift, since gifts usually just show how much they don't know me or my tastes.

[Marimaru 7]

I think you could do something inbetween... You could set yourself a budget and get things off of their lists, but not get everything they want. My sisters and I always understood that a list didn't mean everything would get checked off, it just was a guideline.

[Daisalana 33]

I'd love to get money (or at least gift cards) as a gift. That way, I can get what I want, or at least put it into savings. Hell, I'm a poor grad student, and I can always use extra cash, especially since I'm currently paying off this surgery. Half the time when I get gifts, it's not something that I want or could use, in the first place. I mean, the thought is there, but this stuff just sits around until I finally give it away or throw it out. To me, cash or a gift card would probably be more meaningful than an actual gift, since gifts usually just show how much they don't know me or my tastes.

Depends on how old the 'kids' are.

I was thinking in terms of under 14. Under 14, I don't think money is a good gift.

NOW, however is another story. I love getting money as gifts, I get to pay off my bills and breathe easy.

[Daisalana 33]

Yeah I could add, my parents set a dollar limit, and we all got the same amount. We could pick 1 big thing, or a bunch of little things, to total the amount. We typically made lists of like 50 items, and they would pick out what they would get us. Seems every year I always opted for a bunch of little things, and my sister and brother opted for expensive 1 things. They got a video game box of some sort every year.

[anonemouse 1]

Depends on how old the 'kids' are.

I was thinking in terms of under 14. Under 14, I don't think money is a good gift.

NOW, however is another story. I love getting money as gifts, I get to pay off my bills and breathe easy.

Very true. Most kids under 14 generally have the same tastes, or usually just want what their friends have.

[Jachut 487]

I'd rather get cash than a bad gift, for sure. Ewan (my 10 year old LOVES getting money).

SIL and BIL recently moved to Canada. We discussed pressies for the kids, what we'd do and I was all for them buying their own gifts and us buying ours and just presenting it as having been from Auntie Jacqui and Uncle Doug or Auntie Ali and Uncle Jon, kind of thing. But Ali wanted to send actual gifts.

So this piece gift arrives for Ewan in September, after being returned to sender because we were away and not able to sight for it, out it comes again, its some cheap crappy helicopter thing that broke within 5 minutes, and was ordered off wishlist.com.

WTF? No thought, no shopping, no wrapping it and sending it herself, just a quick, oh, this'll do, its appropriate for a 5 year old not a ten year old but who cares, its easy and it arrives without any effort on my part.

I was a bit affronted actually. She normally gives thoughtful gifts, but if this is what's going to happen each occasion while they're over there, I'd much rather she sent money or we bought gifts for our own kids.

[iheartcats 0]

The santa thing complicates it. If you do want to give them cash to show them responsibility, why don't you tell them that along with their gift of X amount of dollars. I think this is a good strategy for older kids, maybe 10- and up. Maybe you could give them a few inexpensive surprises as well, so they have something to open on x-mas morning. That's my 2 cents!

[carol422 0]

When my kids were little they made a list of the things they would like to get for Christmas. They also knew that they would not be able to get everything on the list just because they wanted it. They were always told that if they didn't get it for Christmas that they could save their money from allowance and birthday gifts and purchase it on their own.