Christmas Greed

[Gummiebear 0]

My kids have me a little annoyed. When it comes to Christmas they are so greedy which can get expensive when u have 3. They all want these really expensive hand held game systems plus a few other really expensive items. I thought maybe instead of presents this year I would give them 100 bucks each which is less than when we normally spend on them but I think they do not know the value of the dollar. Then if they really wanted this item they could put thier money together and buy one and a game or two. They would have to share the system ofcourse and all agree because if one of them wants something else they wont be able to afford it. My hubby doesnt agree with this idea at all he wants to buy them whatever they want but my kids are so spoinled imo I think they should learn a lesson. I wonder if this is a good idea or maybe I am just being a grinch.

[travelgirl 3]

My sister-in-law has always given her kids money for their birthdays, and such. They also get gifts, but when they go to spend their money, they really try to make it stretch, and I believe that this has taught them the value of a dollar, and they rarely if ever ask for anything they know is expensive. In fact, the youngest (10yrs old) is reluctant to even let us buy him things that aren't for a birthday, Christmas, etc... He said it makes him feel "funny".

[kagoscuba 0]

Oy! You should see the greed when they get gifts for eight days. I bought my oldest a bike last year, and 10 seconds after he got it he asked "are there any more presents tonight?" I almost channeled my father and chucked the bike into the garbage. My wife pulled me out of the room and gave my son "the speech on why he should be thankful."

[travelgirl 3]

I almost channeled my father and chucked the bike into the garbage.

I think that would have been my inclination as well. Ungrateful little turds, anyway.

[Wheetsin 714]

Do your children believe in Santa Claus?

If they do, that might complicate things a bit. Children associate bad behavior with limited gifts. That's one of the main, non-physical weapons in curtailing bad behavior, right?

So will using christmas as a time to teach them about money really accomplish that, or will it leave them thinking they were bad?

I dunno, don't have kids.

But if it were me, and I wanted to teach them the lesson, I would wait until a more neutral time. Maybe through allowance, or heck - even bday money. I will be as you are with the holidays - my kid will get whatever they want. :tape2:

[ELENATION 0]

My kids have me a little annoyed. When it comes to Christmas they are so greedy which can get expensive when u have 3. They all want these really expensive hand held game systems plus a few other really expensive items. I thought maybe instead of presents this year I would give them 100 bucks each which is less than when we normally spend on them but I think they do not know the value of the dollar. Then if they really wanted this item they could put thier money together and buy one and a game or two. They would have to share the system ofcourse and all agree because if one of them wants something else they wont be able to afford it. My hubby doesnt agree with this idea at all he wants to buy them whatever they want but my kids are so spoinled imo I think they should learn a lesson. I wonder if this is a good idea or maybe I am just being a grinch.

I feel like you, but my kids always get a little too much because I feel bad and I look at their cute faces....(they are 13 and 15...go figure..lol) and I melt....I'm terrible.... I agree with Wheetsin though....maybe teach them a lesson at more neutral time...?

[DerickM 1]

I agree with travelgirl's sister. My father did the same thing with me and my sister (giving money instead of gifts) and I like to think I have a good money sense becuase of it, as does my sister who just moved out of my dads house and seems to be doing great as far as understanding bills and 'money-sense' although 10% of her budget is devoted to alcohol and pot lol.

[babygrl1234 6]

Do your children believe in Santa Claus?

If they do, that might complicate things a bit. Children associate bad behavior with limited gifts. That's one of the main, non-physical weapons in curtailing bad behavior, right?

.

You know Wheets my kids do believe in Santa and I use that to my advantage when getting their gift. They make a list and we talk about what they want the most on it. Then we talk about how Santa has to give to all the boys and girls and if they got all of their gifts on their list another little child may not get anything because there are only so many toys that can go around. They are pretty happy with the things they do end up getting. They also know that any toys on their list that they do recieve will have to be traded out with something they currently have which we donate to good will. This keeps the list smaller and makes them appreicate their things a bit more IMO. Even my 4 year old will pick out what he does not play with anymore to give away.

I will admit though I am that mean Mom who tells her kids that "Santa is Watching you" when they misbehave. I hope I am not giving them a complex lol.

[green 6]

We always got money when we were kids and possibly as a result of this my two brothers and I grew up to be financially responsible adults. On the other hand, and this will sound stupid, I am completely neurotic when it comes to buying personal gifts for people. And our Christmas mornings were kind of sad, a small stack of envelopes under the artificial Xmas tree.... Even the amounts tended to remain the same from year to year.

[Jachut 487]

We have this problem a lot, in this day and age, consumerism is rampant in our culture and it has bitten our kids big time.

I *think* we find a reasonable balance, we have to because we jsut cannot afford to give them everything they want. Yet I find my kids are very much the poor relations amongst their friends despite the fact that we'd easily have the highest income amongst our friend's peers. I seriously do not know how people do it, I think they just done even care about paying off their houses etc.

What we do is with Christmas, we've not given money yet, but they're set a budget which is pretty generous. I still said NO to a new games system last Christmas for the fact that then you need all new games for it at $90 a pop, that drives me insane. I said there's no point them getting a Playstation Portable if they had no games for it and there's no way I'm buying $90 games every month, and it would take ALL their pocket money. So I said no and they got over it.

For birthdays we say right, you have $200. You can either get one big present, you can have a party or you can have a sleepover/pizza/dvd night with a few friends and spend the balance on a present. Because what also drives me nuts is that kids seem to have a huge fancy birthday party every year, I only ever had one or two! My boys are 10 and 12 now, I think they dont need big themed birthday parties! They nearly always choose to spend $200 on themselves, on stuff they want, but they know they could have the party if they wanted to.

Eliza will still get a party or two as she's only four (and the boys got them at that age).

But that's how it works. It was much harder when the boys believed in Santa, as Ewan wanted a laptop and asked me why I said it was too expensive, as Santa didnt have to pay for anything!

[Wheetsin 714]

Money for xmas is a foreign concept to me. I always had presents. As I got older, bday presents became bday shopping trips where I could pick what I wanted, but still no money (to this day, I can't think of a single occasion for which my parents gave me money over a gift, they're just the type that subscribe to the idea that "money is impersonal, a gift shows you at least thought enough to pick something out.")

Anyway - for those of you who got money as children, and believed in Santa, how was the absence of a gift explained? Or did you get money and maybe A gift from Santa?

[anonemouse 1]

Money for xmas is a foreign concept to me. I always had presents. As I got older, bday presents became bday shopping trips where I could pick what I wanted, but still no money (to this day, I can't think of a single occasion for which my parents gave me money over a gift, they're just the type that subscribe to the idea that "money is impersonal, a gift shows you at least thought enough to pick something out.")

I've never gotten money either. I've picked out my own presents on Amazon, shipped them to my parents, and received them on Christmas, though (they're technophobes). :biggrin1: My parents have no clue what to get me, so unless I actually pick something out, they usually give me the usual stand-bys of fuzzy socks, flannel PJs, and a shoebox full of paperback novels. My brother is usually guaranteed to give me Bath and Body Works products and a DVD or two (usually nothing I actually want to watch, though). It's easier and a lot less painful for all of us if I just pick out what I want and have it shipped to them.

[ELENATION 0]

Money for xmas is a foreign concept to me. I always had presents. As I got older, bday presents became bday shopping trips where I could pick what I wanted, but still no money (to this day, I can't think of a single occasion for which my parents gave me money over a gift, they're just the type that subscribe to the idea that "money is impersonal, a gift shows you at least thought enough to pick something out.")

Anyway - for those of you who got money as children, and believed in Santa, how was the absence of a gift explained? Or did you get money and maybe A gift from Santa?

I never got money for any occasion.... my parents thought it was impersonal.... and I kind of feel the same with my kids....now if I could pick my own gifts, I would go for the money, I love to get a gift card and then buy whatever I want.... so all of you out there that wish to send me a gift, please just ask for my address, cash, gift cards, all accepted! hehehe...

I want to hear about the absence of presents from Santa, that's interesting... hhhhhhmmm

[travelgirl 3]

With my sis-in-law, they do gifts, and money. Mind you, not a lot of money, or a lot of gifts, but enough gifts for them to not feel jipped, and I think $100 each or so. Single mom with 2 kids=not a lot of cash, so she wants to make sure that both of her kids understand how to handle money, so they can/will be self sufficient when they're on their own. They are as different as night and day in some ways, for example, the girl (13) loves to spend as much money as she has, and will spend down to the last dime, but she is a bargain shopper. She knows how to make the most of her money. The boy (10) will spend a little, maybe 20% of it, and save the rest. I swear, that kid has more money in savings than I do! And he's always very reluctant to spend any money on anything he doesn't REALLY REALLY want.

I don't know where he gets it, certainly not from this side of the family! LOL!

[Wheetsin 714]

BTW, incidentally, really - I am an only child and both of my parents worked jobs that afforded a lot of extra money. I never wanted for anything - my parents bought me way more than I ever asked for. (Due in part to their guilt over me not having any siblings). I can show you pics of our tree from my childhood and you'd swear 8 or 9 kids lived there based on the number of presents under the tree.

Yet I'm not spoiled in the sense you might think I would be. I will admit that I AM spoiled in the sense of -- value of a dollar... hard to describe, that may not be right, and I feel kind of bad telling this but I will anyway. I've never had a time in my life where there wasn't enough money. Even when I was in college and not making a lot of money myself, it was always there some how - parents paying my rent, buying me groceries, etc. I've never once had to say "I can't afford it" other than like if I forget my debit card and only have $20 on me... then I know I can only spend $20 until I go get my debit card. Anyway, that doesn't come from Santa or anything, but just lifestyle I guess.

Anyway -- I do not enjoy it when people buy me things, and have a hard time enjoying things I know others paid for. And I have a hard time buying things for myself, even though I won't think twice about buying something that costs 5x as much for someone else. I sincerely tell my parents I want "nothing" when they ask, or I will ask for something handmade - for mom to knit me a throw, for dad to refinish a piece of furniture for me, etc. I do not want ppl spending money on me, not even my husband. It makes me feel terrible. Probably to an unnatural degree.