Family gatherings

[Red Alicia 29]

I just returned from a week long family vacation/reunion. It was interesting how much of our time was centered around food. Everyone trying to impress the others with their cooking. And if you don't eat a big plate of it, someone gets their feeling hurt. I don't want extended family members to know about my surgery. How do I prepare for future events?

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[Bryn910 519]

I always make sure I bring a dish I know I can eat; if it’s potluck style etc.

or you can put a little bit of the things you can eat on your plate and keep it with you all the time and nibble so it looks like you’re eating more.

Or if they ask questions, just tell them you aren’t stuffing yourself, you had a bit to eat before coming over or you’re going to hit up another place after this event so no one keeps questioning you.

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

Spend a lot of time talking to people and just push the food around on your plate. Six weeks post op, my mom died so we had a big, Italian NYC funeral. There was food. And Food, And more food. And meals And did I mention food. While in a hotel. For almost a week. I made sure we had a fridge in the room and had my Oikos triple zero and premier shakes always available along with other high Protein items. When I was with family, I filled my plate, nibbleed and mostly pushed the food around to different piles so people didn't realize I hadn't really eaten it. Everyone could see I was losing weight and I just said my doctor had me on a very specific diet and I was trying my best to stick with it.

[Red Alicia 29]

Thank you

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[shortmocha 39]

I just got back from my family reunion in Texas. I stuck with things on my plan (meats and veggies). I took little bits of a variety of things and spread them out or grabbed a smaller plate which looked fuller. I was with my immediate family (hubby, sister and parents). They all know about my surgery. They would help eat stuff on my plate so it wasn't so obvious that I wasn't eating everything myself. In my hotel fridge I had my Protein Shakes and Water. I have already lost enough weight for people to notice and that helps. When people see you're trying to lose and it's working, I find it a little easier to decline unhealthy options and have people understand.

At the end of the day you made this big decision for you. So do what's best for you.

[DaleCruse 756]

With all due respect, it sounds to me like the real problem here isn't how to manage food; it's how to manage extended relatives. There are MANY threads here about keeping surgery a secret or not.

The approach I took when I was sleeved was to tell EVERYBODY. I was very upfront to family, friends, & strangers on the street! Only once did I get a negative reaction. Ironically, it was from the person I knew who needed WLS the most.

My suggestion? Read a few of those "secret or not" threads. Then tell everyone what you're doing. They'll appreciate your honesty. Then dealing food becomes easier.

Good luck. You are not alone!

[Malcy 132]

I just returned from a week long family vacation/reunion. It was interesting how much of our time was centered around food. Everyone trying to impress the others with their cooking. And if you don't eat a big plate of it, someone gets their feeling hurt. I don't want extended family members to know about my surgery. How do I prepare for future events?
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I just want to say thank you for posting this topic. I just learned that my family is planning a huge BBQ for labor day. I am only 6 days post op and didn't tell any of them. Reading all these posts has been extremely helpful as how to handle the next and upcoming holidays

[Frustr8 7,886]

Yeah if anyone asks or notices your small amount of food, just deflect them. Say I'd. rather talk to You than eat right now. I'll get more later, you don't have to volunteer that later may be in a day or two. Most of my kinfolk would rather talk than eat, must be why I outweigh them. If they say " why aren't you eating my blubber cassarole, take a token amount, you can ditch it,later. Move things around. on your plate, how do they know that is still your 1st plate, you might have gone back for seconds because It was so good! Deflect their attention. If you have a family member everyone knows is great cooker, say " oh I have to save room for Aunt Myra's blueberry pie!" then put a tiny bit on the your plate so they. have seen that color.. Wing it, I'm sure you'll dodge and weave with the best,of them!