None of Your Business!

[Cara-Lea 41]

I wholeheartedly believe you have to do what works for you. That said, I told everyone at work the truth. In fact, I haven't kept my surgery a secret from anyone. I have done nothing wrong, by choosing to a medical procedure that will improve my health, if anyone wants to judge me for it, that says far more about them than it does about me. Though my honesty, I got INCREDIBLE support in my workplace and was able to talk with other people who are struggling with their weight and support them in their journeys. Being so open has been one of the best parts of my journey - it has shown me how much love people are able to share.

[sariejack 22]

At work, I just told them I was having surgery. No one asked any follow up questions.

I told one trusted friend and she disappointed me by trying to talk me out of it, and to use essential oils instead.

So it's just my husband, and my therapist who know.

We even met my mother at a BBQ restaurant today to drop my daughter off for a week's visit. I drank my Protein Shake and played it as a "diet." Which is true.

[sillykitty 10,776]

I have a question for those whom are able to stonewall and give non answers .... how do you do it?

There is no way in my professional life I would just be able to give non answers about my weight loss and eating habits.

This is also complicated by the fact I'm not willing to say, "I'm dieting, I'm watching what I eat", etc.. I have never admitted to having any issues with my weight. I have always projected confidence about who I am, and admitting to wanting to change myself would be acknowledging that was a lie.

Dining out is a a big part of my job. I may dine with some people a few times a year. But others I may have 3 meals a day with 3-4 days straight. The amount I can eat is so small (1-2 oz) it is always noticed. Even if I were to say "I'm watching what I eat", there is no way what I can eat is considered a healthy or balanced approach. No doubt people would assume I have an eating disorder.

Additionally, my weight loss has been so dramatic, it is not something that is achievable with normal dieting (if I was going to use the "watching what I eat" excuse). I know there are people at my company seriously concerned about my health. Some of this is genuine care. But a large part is succession planning. If I were to become suddenly unable to do my job, that would obviously cause a considerable problem.

So is my situation just unique? I can't imagine how I could not answer any questions about this day after day?

[Screwballski 540]

On 08/05/2018 at 21:07, sillykitty said:

I have a question for those whom are able to stonewall and give non answers .... how do you do it?

There is no way in my professional life I would just be able to give non answers about my weight loss and eating habits.

This is also complicated by the fact I'm not willing to say, "I'm dieting, I'm watching what I eat", etc.. I have never admitted to having any issues with my weight. I have always projected confidence about who I am, and admitting to wanting to change myself would be acknowledging that was a lie.

Dining out is a a big part of my job. I may dine with some people a few times a year. But others I may have 3 meals a day with 3-4 days straight. The amount I can eat is so small (1-2 oz) it is always noticed. Even if I were to say "I'm watching what I eat", there is no way what I can eat is considered a healthy or balanced approach. No doubt people would assume I have an eating disorder.

Additionally, my weight loss has been so dramatic, it is not something that is achievable with normal dieting (if I was going to use the "watching what I eat" excuse). I know there are people at my company seriously concerned about my health. Some of this is genuine care. But a large part is succession planning. If I were to become suddenly unable to do my job, that would obviously cause a considerable problem.

So is my situation just unique? I can't imagine how I could not answer any questions about this day after day?

How do some A-LIST celebrities walk around with out being swamped? They do absolutely nothing to draw attention to themselves.
If I’m out with friends and anyone mentions how little I’m eating I just laugh and say, “I got so hungry right before we met up that I had to have a snack”, or, “ I had so much coffee it killed my appetite.” Then I take my left overs home for 3 more meals.
I use, “I’ve been snacking all day...I drank, like, a gallon of Water about a hour ago”...and about a zillion other laughing comments to derail the questions, then I change the subject by asking questions about their kids, business, spouses, vacation plans, etc. Honestly, it’s never, ever an issue. And I’ve dropped a bunch of sizes.

[Frustr8 7,886]

How about " My tummy is a little touchy today, didn't want just sip Water so I got something with Protein and vitamins" and then change the coversation to something YOU do feel comfortable discussing like baseball or 🏈, I'm a bit of a tomboy so I dont usually discuss lipsick shades or eye shadow.. There is an old saying about "tempering the wind to the shorn lamb" I always in this cicumstance felt it meant talking about the easiest, least offensive subjects.

[NYJenn 1,463]

Having my gallbladder removed

[Frustr8 7,886]

Having the Butterflies in my Stomach removed, if they say Hunnh? Serves them right for being nibby!

[josephsmom 25]

I only told immediate family. At work I just said I was having surgery, and nobody asked anything more. I have had a lot of health problems and other surgeries, so it wasn't a big shock to anyone. I did not go out with friends until Stage 4, so there was never any reason for anyone to ask questions about what I was eating. I eat half (or less) of everything I'm served, and I don't drink anything that has calories. My friends have seen me do the same on weight loss plans before, so they haven't bothered to comment or ask. They don't seem to notice the "protein first" strategy or the fact that I am not drinking any liquids while eating. When people comment on my weight, I just say, "Thanks, I'm working hard." And that's true! On a few occasions people have wanted more information. To them I said, "You know, I've gone up and down so many times, I am trying to just be healthy and not worry about what the scale says either way." That seems to work. Good luck to you!

[Neversaynever 268]

On 05/08/2018 at 11:08 PM, Frustr8 said:

Tell them you were born with 3 testicles, only 2 descended, they have to go in and find where it went. Or you got a boil the last time you wore a Speedo and you want it fixed so you can go on a Caribbean cruise. Or tell them you're having a sex change, you're going to keep trying,until you find one b you like. That ought stun them into silence.🎭

I know you live in America, but I seriously wish you were my next door neighbour, I love your humour!

[xoxococojay 842]

I am the queen of this. I dont tell anyone because i dont care to hear anyones opinions or negativity or judgement or ignorance or play 21 questions with me. Plus i would never broadcast that im fat, or that i take allergy pills every day, it’s like who cares- none of their business. Plus, it’s kind of like if you choose to over share then you can’t really complain about anyone else’s reaction.

And you have every right to feel that way, it is your body after all. So by all means do what works best to you, you do not owe anyone any sort of explanation period.

Now that im now a size 4 instead of a 14 i get asked the obviously expected weight loss questions on a rare occasion. I answer them honestly by saying i watch what i eat (high Protein, low carb, smaller portions) and i workout 5 days per week hard core. That’s truthful. Im not ashamed nor am i hiding anything. I just dont typically volunteer any info about myself.

Plus as you go through the process your circle changes and you meet people who didn’t know you before you had surgery and they won’t care or question it, they will literally just view you as you.

[KRush88 105]

People I’m not close to I’ve been telling them I had a procedure done due to a weak bladder.

[soph504 47]

I told everyone I had surgery to correct a stomach ulcer. People didn’t question it and have been really sympathetic to my dietary issues. You are right that you shouldn’t have to explain, but unless you want to tell everyone to f$&@ off when you go out to lunch or dinner, it’s a lot easier to come up with a cover story.

[KRush88 105]

To be honest I told the whole world I didn’t give fairy flying dust what people thought! My sister told me I was strong enough to do it on my own so I responded I’m strong enough to be fat forever tho. 🤷🏾‍♀️ family , friends or foe will either accept me or leave me alone.

[Frustr8 7,886]

As Popeye of cartoon game once stated" I YAM WHAT I YAM". You disapprove? Get in line, there's a FEW peopke,ahead of YOU!😛👍😛

[sillykitty 10,776]

24 minutes ago, soph504 said:

You are right that you shouldn’t have to explain, but unless you want to tell everyone to f$&@ off when you go out to lunch or dinner, it’s a lot easier to come up with a cover story.

Yes, this!