Did your marriage or relationship die after you lost the weight?

[George OG 73]

So I weighed 380 and my wife is like 300 pounds.Now i’m 167 pounds.She really wasn’t supportive of my surgery.She was making comments about me calling me skin and bones man.She also bankrupted our family spending over 5000 dollars on a video game because I lost weight.She has no interest in me emotionally or physically.I am only posting a pic to get honest feedback.Believe me I can handle it.She has made me feel like I’m very unattractive even though I think I look ok.I have decided to divorce her because I can’t take getting crapped on anymore?I don’t regret my surgery even though I’m getting divorced.I hate to say it but she really made makes questions if I am hideous now.I can handle blunt truth.Have any of you had issues after a bypass too or other weight loss tool?

[KCgirl061 1,532]

You don't look hideous, you look healthy. I don't know if its too late for your marriage but she could definitely benefit from counseling. Depending on where you are emotionally, you probably could as well. Especially if you believe that line of bull$#it about spending 5 grand on video games BECAUSE YOU LOST WEIGHT. That's ridiculous.

[FLHappyGirl 171]

Sorry to hear this, it must be hard for you! I would bet your wife is insecure in her own weight and now she feels like she doesn't have a partner in her unhealthy lifestyle. Don't let that derail your efforts! Loving someone means supporting them even when it is hard for you to do so.

You look fantastic! Don't let ANYONE tell you differently, and keep up the good work.

[GreenTealael 25,384]

Sorry, this is happening. No one on either side of the equation deserves to be treated poorly. Abuse can come in many forms, emotional, physical and financial. It can even happen to men. It *sounds* a lot like what you may be going through. But no one will be more qualified to help than a marriage , mental (and financial counselor) give these resources a try, give it your best efforts, so that whatever plan you come up with will be a success, just like your weight loss journey.

Peace and Blessings

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 167

[macadamia 591]

You look far from hideous! Congrats on your progress so far. Her emotions are wrecked because she sees you as successfully dealing with your weight and she is not (my opinion). It is not cool to destroy the family finances by throwing a tantrum (my opinion). I know from my experience with my weight over the years, emotion plays heavy on me and I've been known to react badly to things around me. I now know that part of it is my use of sugar over the years - yes, I'm a sugar addict. I've been in counseling off and on to learn to cope better with the mood swings I experience from sugar. I'm confident that along with the counseling, the new diet lifestyle will be effective.

Was it at least a cool game?

[George OG 73]

12 minutes ago, macadamia said:

You look far from hideous! Congrats on your progress so far. Her emotions are wrecked because she sees you as successfully dealing with your weight and she is not (my opinion). It is not cool to destroy the family finances by throwing a tantrum (my opinion). I know from my experience with my weight over the years, emotion plays heavy on me and I've been known to react badly to things around me. I now know that part of it is my use of sugar over the years - yes, I'm a sugar addict. I've been in counseling off and on to learn to cope better with the mood swings I experience from sugar. I'm confident that along with the counseling, the new diet lifestyle will be effective.

Was it at least a cool game?

Star Wars MMORPG.It makes me puke when I see her playing it!

[George OG 73]

Update she was gone today so I checked her computer and she spent more money on the game!F@@k it I’m done!

[macadamia 591]

3 minutes ago, George OG said:

Star Wars MMORPG.It makes me puke when I see her playing it!

1 minute ago, George OG said:

Update she was gone today so I checked her computer and she spent more money on the game!F@@k it I’m done!

I'm so very sorry that you are having to deal with this too. Good luck with everything and if you need someone to talk to on the phone, message me and I'll give you my phone number. I'm a great listener and it sounds like you need to vent.

[Creekimp13 5,840]

My opinion....you need to leave your abusive relationship and find someone healthy to build a healthy relationship with.

There is nothing wrong with how you look. You look like a fit healthy guy next door. Just an normal decent looking guy.

[Wanda247 908]

1 hour ago, macadamia said:

I'm so very sorry that you are having to deal with this too. Good luck with everything and if you need someone to talk to on the phone, message me and I'll give you my phone number. I'm a great listener and it sounds like you need to vent.

AWWW! That is so very kind of you, I always see the women saying that and being supportive so it's nice to see it coming from a guy. Two thumbs up

[Wanda247 908]

2 hours ago, George OG said:

So I weighed 380 and my wife is like 300 pounds.Now i’m 167 pounds.She really wasn’t supportive of my surgery.She was making comments about me calling me skin and bones man.She also bankrupted our family spending over 5000 dollars on a video game because I lost weight.She has no interest in me emotionally or physically.I am only posting a pic to get honest feedback.Believe me I can handle it.She has made me feel like I’m very unattractive even though I think I look ok.I have decided to divorce her because I can’t take getting crapped on anymore?I don’t regret my surgery even though I’m getting divorced.I hate to say it but she really made makes questions if I am hideous now.I can handle blunt truth.Have any of you had issues after a bypass too or other weight loss tool?

You look great and congrats on all of your weight loss...I'm sorry to hear about your wife, maybe encourage her to have the surgery and take control of her health and to stop acting childish with the spending. Only you know your situation but if you love her and think it's worth it try marriage counseling.

I wish you all the best!

[George OG 73]

34 minutes ago, wanda247 said:

You look great and congrats on all of your weight loss...I'm sorry to hear about your wife, maybe encourage her to have the surgery and take control of her health and to stop acting childish with the spending. Only you know your situation but if you love her and think it's worth it try marriage counseling.

I wish you all the best!

I did try and encourage her to have surgery so she could feel good like me,then I found out she told her family that I was trying to force her to have surgery.We are trying counseling but I keep getting lied to.Even when I have evidence she still denies it😂I’m sad because you hear women say they want a good guy but in my experience I just get walked on.People tell me I’m too nice.I just wished that someone that claims to love me wouldn’t do this to me and our child😞

[Creekimp13 5,840]

oh man...a kiddo, too.

What a horribly difficult position to be in.

Best wishes to you, George. I hope your therapist helps you to understand you don't deserve to be treated like that. And your kiddo doesn't need to observe you being treated that way, either.

You can't save the world, George. But you can save yourself and be a good Dad who won't let a toxic stew become a child's definition of normal.

Wishing you brighter days and a healthier future.

Edited July 24, 2018 by Creekimp13

[macadamia 591]

1 hour ago, wanda247 said:

AWWW! That is so very kind of you, I always see the women saying that and being supportive so it's nice to see it coming from a guy. Two thumbs up

Thank you very much! Us guys have to stick together. I can be a listener for women as well...

[MarinaGirl 609]

You look good George, really. It sounds like you’ve put in some effort to save your marriage but if your wife is not interested then it is for naught. I think you should immediately do what you can to protect the family assets as any further spending could impact having optimal resources to care for your child. Do not let your wife’s spending habits impact your credit another day. Good luck.