I feel scared and ashamed...

[Swanton_Bomb 522]

I am pre-surgery. I'm thought about the surgery for a decade. Shame and fear got in the way. Finally I realized that being morbidly obese was FAR more dangerous than having the surgery, and I had a better chance of dropping dead over the next few years than I would flatlining on the table. The shame was harder to get over and I am working on that. What helped me the most was saying to myself, "What would you think of someone else who had the surgery?" I wouldn't judge them at all. I am working on trying to be as kind and accepting to myself as I would be to someone else.

[SummerEssence 130]

On 7/24/2018 at 10:37 AM, sariejack said:

Hi everyone,

I am new to the forum. I am scheduled to have VGS on August 6th. I weigh about twice what I should and have high blood pressure. Insurance approved it and I am good to go--but I can't get over the fear of not waking up from the surgery, and the shame that I let my weight get to the point that I need medical intervention.

Has anyone else struggled with these emotions? If so, what can I do to overcome them?

Sariejack, I don't know if your a Christian or even a Religious person, but if your afraid don't be think positive and just before going in you can read this prayer:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me all the day's of my life. (Psalm 23:4) and Sign off with GOD Protect Me through this Surgery and in my Life. In Jesus Name Amen.

Note: Change the way you think and Change Your Life. Think good thoughts you will be ok its normal to be nervous, but you WILL be ok.

Edited August 2, 2018 by SummerEssence

[Frustr8 7,886]

Some lines for you
I am fine and it's MY TIME to shine
No shame in my game
And no sorrows in all my tomorrows!
Now smile😛and. BELIEVE in YOU

[The Preacher 161]

12 hours ago, SummerEssence said:

Sariejack, I don't know if your a Christian or even a Religious person, but if your afraid don't be think positive and just before going in you can read this prayer:

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me all the day's of my life. (Psalm 23:4) and Sign off with GOD Protect Me through this Surgery and in my Life. In Jesus Name Amen.

Note: Change the way you think and Change Your Life. Think good thoughts you will be ok its normal to be nervous, but you WILL be ok.

The prayer is nice, but, I would make sure that I was a born again child of God. Being born again is the only thing that will get you to heaven, after all that is the ultimate goal to strive for, just in case one should leave this old world.

If you don't believe me, read John chapter 3:1-8

John 3:1-8 (KJV)
¹ There was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews:
² The same came to Jesus by night, and said unto him, Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him.
³ Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
⁴ Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?
⁵ Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of Water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
⁶ That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
⁷ Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.
⁸ The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.

Edited August 2, 2018 by The Preacher

[Frustr8 7,886]

And rebirth comes when you say.-- Not in My Strength come I. but I come humbly . to ask you into my life that your will now becomes mine and that your strength becomes mine. Make in me a reflection of You that will shine forth into the World that all will come to Your Saving Grace. And if you believe and believe sincerely Great thongs will happen in your life. Amen and Amen.😛🙏😛

[SummerEssence 130]

53 minutes ago, The Preacher said:

The prayer is nice, but, I would make sure that I was a born again child of God. Being born again is the only thing that will get you to heaven, after all that is the ultimate goal to strive for, just in case one should leave this old world.

If you don't believe me, read John chapter 3:1-8

John 3:1-8 (KJV)
¹ There was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews:
² The same came to Jesus by night, and said unto him, Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him.
³ Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
⁴ Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?
⁵ Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of Water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
⁶ That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
⁷ Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.
⁸ The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.

Yep Preacher. You know the word.

Edited August 2, 2018 by SummerEssence

[SummerEssence 130]

1 hour ago, Frustr8 said:

Some lines for you
I am fine and it's MY TIME to shine
No shame in my game
And no sorrows in all my tomorrows!
Now smile😛and. BELIEVE in YOU

Nice one Frustr8 I like it. Smiles

[Taoz 284]

As others have said, it's normal to feel scared about surgery, but it is a very safe surgery and it would be far more risky to stay obese and risk all the dangerous obesity-related diseases versus having the surgery.

Try to let go of your shame. There is a multi-billion dollar diet industry that sells you products and ideas that DO NOT WORK in the long term, and have been shown time and again to fail, but they cause you to blame yourself when they fail. Many of us keep getting fatter the more we try to diet away the weight. Once you become obese the chances of being able to lose the weight and keep it off on your own are tiny, our biology works against us to put the weight back on. The only proven effective way to be able to lose significant amounts of weight and keep it off (provided you put in the work to make the tool work for you) is bariatric surgery.

[Cara-Lea 41]

I struggled both with shame and fear, just like you.

I can tell you that what helped me was to be willing to release the past - the reason I ended up weighing 350lbs, I had to leave it all behind me so I could change. Please, let it all go. Forgive yourself. Forgive anyone who hurt you that pushed you towards food. If you let all of that go, you will lose the shame.

As for the fear... I was f'king terrified going into surgery. I really thought I might die... but I also trusted all the professionals around me who I knew only wanted to see me survive and thrive. So yes, sitting waiting to go into the OR on my surgery day... I was so afraid, it felt like I was leaping off a cliff... it was probably the bravest thing I ever did.. and you can be that brave too. I promise. I have a picture that says "Sometimes the fear won't go away.. so you'll just have to do it afraid." Tell yourself that.

[BxBomba23 8]

I just got my surgery done on 7/26/18... I had the same exact fear! I thinks it’s normal. It’s all in your head. It actually wasn’t bad at all!! As far as shame goes, you’re not alone. I’m sure it’s crossed all our minds during this entire process. Let’s be positive and think about how great things will be in the near future!! It’s like a second chance. This time around let’s stay the course. You.... we got this!! 💪🏽

Edited August 3, 2018 by BxBomba23

[Jess01 19]

I was so scared up in till surgery. Its normal. I thank god everything went fine my surgery was 7/25. I did not even sleep a whole 2 weeks or the night before surgery praying did i make the right choice. Which it was i see the scale droping.

[amo4714412@aol.com 7]

New as well congrats on the approval my surgery is scheduled for the 17th of August first day of the liquid diet not so bad

[amo4714412@aol.com 7]

Did anyone establish goals before your surgery (weight loss goals)

[Lct8394 2]

I. Completely understand....I felt the same way. I just had the sugery 10 days ago. You will be ok and this will be done before you know it. Hang in there

[Jdesmond73 138]

I was nervous as well but honestly I was more afraid of what my Years of obesity was doing to my health. I was on blood pressure meds for 10 Years, was pre diabeti, had sleep apnea, back issues, etc. There was no doubt in my mind that my weight was going to kill me at some point. At the encouragement of my Wife, Kids and Parents, I reluctantly went through with the VSG and it was the best decision I have ever made for myself. ALL of my health issues have been reversed and I feel like a new person. I am no longer ashamed of “letting myself go” regarding weight for all those Years. The past is done and I am now living in the moment and am excited about the future. I understand what you are going through but my advice would be to try and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. Best of luck!