Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Oh how the tables have turned......



Recommended Posts

Ever since I can remember, I have been the "fat guy". That is what I was known for. I never took my shirt off at a pool or a beach, ever! That is something I want to change though. So, my best friend who I graduated high school together has always been much slimmer, popular, girls flocked to him; I sure you get the drift. Although we have been friends for over two decades I feel he never took me seriously because of my weight. At parties, clubs, bars, social situations I was always the one who was ignored and not payed attention too. Well, he moved out of state and we see each other about twice a year. He has a very stressful job and as a result has been emotionally eating and gained a significant amount of weight. He is one of the few that know that I had my surgery and he is very supportive. We saw each other for the first time in over a year last week and guess what...drum roll.....I weigh less than him. He even made a comment on how I was flirting with the waitress at the restaurant we met at. It felt like I was in his shoes for once. It felt truly that the tables have turned.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, BuzzVSG said:

Ever since I can remember, I have been the "fat guy". That is what I was known for. I never took my shirt off at a pool or a beach, ever! That is something I want to change though. So, my best friend who I graduated high school together has always been much slimmer, popular, girls flocked to him; I sure you get the drift. Although we have been friends for over two decades I feel he never took me seriously because of my weight. At parties, clubs, bars, social situations I was always the one who was ignored and not payed attention too. Well, he moved out of state and we see each other about twice a year. He has a very stressful job and as a result has been emotionally eating and gained a significant amount of weight. He is one of the few that know that I had my surgery and he is very supportive. We saw each other for the first time in over a year last week and guess what...drum roll.....I weigh less than him. He even made a comment on how I was flirting with the waitress at the restaurant we met at. It felt like I was in his shoes for once. It felt truly that the tables have turned.

a great NSV!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Probably felt crappy for him, though, huh? Congrats to you. Just don’t forget to have empathy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congrats on your successful weight loss. Sounds like your bud can use some support. Be there for him like he was for you. That's what great friendships are all about right. Also maybe it can be a learning experience for both of you. Let him know how you felt pre op. Your in each others shoes so now you will both know what it feels .

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like your friend is a true friend. Your feelings of being ignored and that your friend didn't seem to take you seriously in the past, were your feelings; according to your story, he didn't go out of his way to make you feel like the "fat guy". Enjoy your moment of weighing less, but never forget how it felt. Not to say that you would! You sound like a good friend, too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, Missouri-Lee's Summit said:

It sounds like your friend is a true friend. Your feelings of being ignored and that your friend didn't seem to take you seriously in the past, were your feelings; according to your story, he didn't go out of his way to make you feel like the "fat guy". Enjoy your moment of weighing less, but never forget how it felt. Not to say that you would! You sound like a good friend, too.

He is definitely a true friend. A friendship that has been built over two decades. In all due respect, you don't know the semantics of the early stages of the friendship. They were my feelings based upon actual social behavior on his part, and how do you know he didn't go out of his way? He actually did. However with that being said over the years he has matured as we all do and he is a good friend.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can totally relate. I have a friend from college, we met freshman year. She’s always been super thin, boys fawn all over her etc. She was hurt in an accident that left her unable to exercise in her usual manner coupled with stress, work, depression etc and gained upwards of 50lbs this past year whereas I dropped 90+. First time ever that I’ve been smaller than her. Gave her a bunch of my clothes tonight that I’ve sized out of. It feels so good yet I feel a little guilty cuz her thinness was always her “thing” and I know she’s super sensitive about it. Yet I can’t help but smile about it on the inside.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, BuzzVSG said:

He is definitely a true friend. A friendship that has been built over two decades. In all due respect, you don't know the semantics of the early stages of the friendship. They were my feelings based upon actual social behavior on his part, and how do you know he didn't go out of his way? He actually did. However with that being said over the years he has matured as we all do and he is a good friend.

You are correct. I did not know about his past. I tried (unsuccessfully) to read between the lines and give him the benefit of the doubt. It was a mistake on my part to make those assumptions. I feel empathy for the pain and hurt you experienced as a younger man. I'm sure it took a toll on your social confidence and self-esteem. Being a community of "fat people", we have all experienced different degrees of pain and self-imposed shame. Thank you for pointing out that I should not have made any assumptions about your friend when he was his younger self. I'm glad to hear that he has matured into a finer human being. Thank you for sharing your story.:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 07/16/2018 at 12:43, BuzzVSG said:



Ever since I can remember, I have been the "fat guy". That is what I was known for. I never took my shirt off at a pool or a beach, ever! That is something I want to change though. So, my best friend who I graduated high school together has always been much slimmer, popular, girls flocked to him; I sure you get the drift. Although we have been friends for over two decades I feel he never took me seriously because of my weight. At parties, clubs, bars, social situations I was always the one who was ignored and not payed attention too. Well, he moved out of state and we see each other about twice a year. He has a very stressful job and as a result has been emotionally eating and gained a significant amount of weight. He is one of the few that know that I had my surgery and he is very supportive. We saw each other for the first time in over a year last week and guess what...drum roll.....I weigh less than him. He even made a comment on how I was flirting with the waitress at the restaurant we met at. It felt like I was in his shoes for once. It felt truly that the tables have turned.


Congratulations on your NSV! Nice to have moments like that

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On ‎08‎/‎13‎/‎2018 at 8:08 PM, GreenTealael said:

Welcome to the shallow end of the pool! Lol congrats!!!!

I about peed a little. :lol: LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On 09/05/2018 at 15:05, AshAsh1 said:





I about peed a little. :lol: LOL


No peeing in the pool! Gosh! Can’t take you anywhere.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Who is peeing in the pool? LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I thought I would bump this thread. I hung out with my friend a few weekends ago. We went to a football game together. It feels so surreal being on the opposite end of the spectrum. What I mean by that is I no longer have to worry about the little things while being heavy such as walking long distances, worrying about sitting in chairs, and constantly being out of breath. For once, he was telling me to slow down! The walk from the parking lot tailgate to the stadium is significant, and when I was at my heaviest I would dread walking it. I really feel like am a totally different person, literally and figuratively..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×