Grief and the lapband

[Josette 2]

Hello! I decided to start this thread because I lost my mom 2 years ago and it's still a struggle for me. I'm still grieving and at times I'm having a hard time sticking to the bandster rules because of it. With the holiday's coming up I can already tell I'm struggling.

Are there any other bandsters out there who've lost a loved one recently or a long time ago that is having a hard time or not looking forward to the holidays because you're just missing that person?

Maybe we can be supportive to each other! It's hard to find someone who's grieving and banded. Lets lean on each other!

[Emerald 0]

Hey Josette,

I'm new to this site......

I can identify with your situation .......my mam died just last year and I've found it very difficult to cope with! Its ironic that I had my lapband op after she died......I'm not quite sure that she'd have approved, but I know she always wanted me to lose weight for my own sake!

Last Christmas was my first year without her.......there's no denying that its terribly hard to get through such a special day with only memories of a person you held so dear.......but you can do it! I'm sure she would want you to enjoy the holidays........

Drop me a mail anytime and chin up......

Emerald

[Sue Magoo 71]

Josette:

First of all, congratulations on the 88 pounds you've lost. Try to remember how tough it's been to lose the 88 and that may make it easier to be a good bandster.

My Mom's been gone for 7 years, taken too early too at 66 from an outrageous infection. Working Monday, dead Tuesday night.

I miss my Mom every day. One thing that helps me with the lapband is that I know she's so proud of my weight loss, and I know she would have had the band if she'd had the chance.

Holidays are tough when you're missing a loved one. I find that getting together with my siblings helps some. I hope you have other family to remember your lost family member with.

If not, why not do something for a stranger on the holidays. Volunteer at a shelter, hospital, or somewhere that someone could use some help or friendship.

Take care.

Sue

[nina874 48]

Hi Josette, Emerald and Sue,

I have also lost my mum, she died of cirrosis 9 years ago ( has it been that long.....) and I still miss her at the most unexpected times.

Any holiday that I associate with family is always hard, but I find that the anticipation of the day is worse than the actual day itself if you know what I mean.

I have always found comfort in food, but right now I am trying to tell myself that I might feel better as I am eating it, but 10 minutes/a day later I will be beating myself up, which will just make me more miserable.

I know it is a bit of a cliche, but I want her to look down and think that I am doing well, cos if she knows one thing its that she raised a survivor!

We can all help each other through this, I am further down the healing process than some, and I can promise you that it does get easier, I can talk about my mum and laugh about things that she did now , something that I thought would be impossible a few years ago, the pain does ease.

Nina x

[janice m r 0]

hi, i lost my dad coming up 6 years now, i at first felt guilty at special times if i found myself happy,laughing etc, but i asked myself would my dad want me to be sad all the time and the answer hell no! i try to be happy for my mum on christmas day as this was their anniversary, i still miss my dad like mad and think about him a lot but as the saying goes time is a great healer, hang on in there xx

[Crispy2 0]

Ok you guys just made me cry!!!! I am fortunate enough to have my mom and she is my biggest supportor. I can't imagine my life without her. I pray that you will get through the holidays with fond memories of your mom. Hang in there and I am sure she is with you along the way. I lost my best friend my gramps that I nick named Spifey. One of my goals is to get his nick name tatoos on my back once I reach the 100 mark. I know he is with me always in this journey. Good luck. :confused:

[stacy73 2]

All...I am deeply sorry for your losses-my mom is still here with me but I lost my grandma 4 years this January-my grandma was like my mom in every way- I know she would be proud of me in my journey-she always supported me in everything I did and that is what I think about as I continue in my journey-what would grandma say?? she would say she is proud and I know that is what your loved ones would say as well... instead of looking to the holidays with grief lets look ahead to our healthy and happy futures and how proud everyone would be of us!! we can never forget those who have gone but I am sure they are someowhere out there smiling at us from up above.

[Josette 2]

Thanks for all the responses so far. I feel a lot less alone. I miss my mom a lot and she was always my biggest fan and cheerleader. Losing 100 pounds has been bittersweet. I believe she is looking down on me with pride but I wish so much she were here to say "you finally are doing it".

My mom loved down and today it snowed for the first time here and I stood out in the falling flakes and said "Mom.. it's snowing!!! Each flake is like a kiss melting on my face sent down from heaven by you!"