I just need to vent...

[BigLu18 20]

So before I get into it, let me give you the basics. I'm 25yrs old. I started this path on 4/25/18, that was my first visit with my bariatric team, it was a general info session and first time meeting the surgeon. He told me because of my age, he recommends the sleeve. He said it would offer me a better quality of life post-op. From there he told me I had to schedule mandatory appointments with the cardiologist, pulmonologist, nutritionist, psychologist and I needed to have a sleep study done; all fine and dandy. The first four weeks of May I managed to get all of that done. I started my pre-op diet of 2 weeks, Clear Liquids only and I had my surgery on 6/25/18. My starting/highest weight was 410 lbs. (When I found that out, it broke me). After the 2 week pre-op diet I weighed in at 367 lbs. 1 week post op, I'm now, currently, 353.2 lbs. So ok, let's get into it....

As a kid I was always big. There is no denying that. I transitioned from happy meals at McDonald's to eating a big mac meal and still wanting a damn toy... ain't that some ****. But anyways, gist of things, I was always big. It wasn't until high school that I was like damn, I need to lose some weight. So I did, I lost alot of weight. I can't tell you my stats because I honestly dont remember but I can tell you my lowest weight was around 212-220-ish and stacked! It felt good! Then high school is over aaaannnndddd life happens! (Isn't that just the greatest fuc**** excuse?!...smh). A series of events later proceeded to happen and as the years went by that just drove me to a complete downward spiral in which I just completely gave up on my self. And what hurts the most is knowing I never truly knew how big I was or maybe I just didn't want to believe it! To me, in my eyes, I wasn't as big as I thought I was. I felt that I was still "healthy" I was active, I played sports, I went to the gym, I was strong, i was f**king untouchable..... i was a fat boy in complete denial. It wasn't until I saw a picture of myself sitting next to my girlfriend in which I just couldn't believe it. How bad I let things go and yet I still didn't want to believe it. Fast forward a bit, my son was born and it was then that it clicked for me. Had I kept on in the path I was on, my son would grow up without a father and I just couldn't do that to him or my girlfriend. One of my supervisors had the bypass operation done and recommended me to his doctor and that's how I ended up getting sleeved. But my point to all this is I was so active before that I just feel like a failure to myself! Like why couldn't I do this the natural way? Why did it take for me to get sliced and diced for me to lose the weight. I feel like I let myself down. Like my "yoyo" effect was entirely my fault for not putting in 100% of the effort in my past diet attempts. I follow so many people on social media who did it the natural way and it just gets to me. Now I can barely finish a damn Protein Shake without getting a stomachache because I drank it to fast. I'm restricted on my meals and idk.... I have a woman who loves me and supports me. I have two amazing boys. The support of my family and friends so why do I feel like I failed myself. Despite my current weight loss in such a short amount of time, why do I wish I never got it done and did it normally. I'm so sorry for the rant I just really needed to vent! I'm the "strong person" in everyone's life and I just couldn't break down like this to them.... I'm currently 3 weeks post op on the pureed stage and just trying to be strong both physically and mentally. Hope you're all doing great.

Side note: I'm so happy I found this forum. When I first signed up, I spent like 3 hours going through threads and I read up on so many things I could relate to. For example, how I'm so young and I can't even enjoy amusement parks with my friends or family because I don't fit on the rides. How I fear going to eat in public cause of the structural integrity of the furniture. How I hear all the comments and stares when I'm out in public with my better half (shes a very active and tiny little thing compared to me, definitely got lucky with her ). How I'm scared to ride in an airplane cause of the seatbelts. How I dread the summer time cause of the heat and the sweating and just everything! I felt I was alone and I could now relate to so many others.... it was just a sigh of relief to know I wasn't alone. I'm so sorry for the length of this post, I just needed to vent...

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[GreenTealael 25,330]

Vent your heart out... We'll listen, and if you want suggestions we'll give them.

[Lisa K. 62]

I'm also very glad to have found this forum. Not to sound cliche, but you took a huge step to take care of yourself and get healthy. Statistically speaking, people have a 5% chance of losing weight by dieting and keeping it off. Bariatric surgery is becoming the recommended treatment for obesity. I'm five days post-op and I have struggled with the usual battles of nausea, getting adequate hydration, etc. but I still think I took a brave step and one that will help me in the future. Ignore the social media posts where everyone has lost tons of weight on some great program. People only post the rosiest things about themselves on social media (except here, which I love!). Don't let them be your yardstick.

[Creekimp13 5,840]

You're adorable, BigLu:) Vent away! Congrats on taking action to gift yourself and your family with a healthier you.

[Letsgetgoing2018 448]

Vent away!

[wjgo 272]

I wish I had the surgery at your age.

If you did not have the surgery, and waited to my age, you would have gone through 20 more years of failed diets.

You will still have to loose weight naturally. Bariatric surgery is NOT a solution, its a tool. Even people with the surgery will loose weight, and gain a lot back because they stopped working on their health. Your stomach will get larger eventually. This surgery is NOT a one way track to your ideal weight.

YOU WILL HAVE TO WORK ON YOUR DIETS NOW, NEXT YEAR, AND FOREVER. Let me repeat that, YOU WILL HAVE TO WORK ON YOUR DIETS NOW, NEXT YEAR, AND FOREVER. The surgery is a big help, a giant jump start and increases your success potential.

It's all up to you to keep on your diet. And your diets won't be enough, you need to be active, and exercise more than you have before. As you loose weight, you'll be able to so more, and it you want to get to your ideal weight, you will need to work out, naturally, like everyone else.

You had your surgery not long ago, your rate of weight loss will taper off, and then you'll be working hard.

.

So, in the relatively near future, you will be working naturally to loose weight still, or maintain your weight.

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[TakingABreak 2,733]

Gosh, I don’t know why, because I don’t ever get emotional, but tears came to my eyes reading your story! I can relate to your struggles and your reasons for surgery. Your words resonated with me. You are doing this for your family first, and then for yourself. We all have our reasons, but I feel in my heart that you are ready. Congrats on starting your journey! I hope you stick around so I can continue to follow your story.

[J San 1,071]

This is a perfect place to vent. Everyone here is very understanding and give great advice. Also very uplifting. You shouldn't have any negative feeling about having this surgery. It's all new now and will take time to get used to it. Your doing it for the right reasons, I'm sure you'll be satisfied when you reach goal or start seeing more weight come off. Keep your head up brother and good luck on your journey!!!

[Frustr8 7,886]

And if you ever need a Bari-Godmother, I am almost alway here. Like almost everyone else I Am A Work In Progress, I may start to stumble but I never fall because the people here believe in me but more important I believe in ME and I know that I will make a success of this, I'm staying to the end come H*** or High Water, I have started on this journey and I am not a quitter. Don't count me out for you can count,on me. And barring dropping dead which I could do, because,i course I'm 72, I will be here until my weight loss is done and maybe also afterwards. I am a tough old red feathered hen , farmer can't catch,me, farmer can't choke,me. If I weren't a hen I'd crow right about now!🐥

[BigLu18 20]

Vent your heart out... We'll listen, and if you want suggestions we'll give them.

Thank you! Much appreciated!

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[BigLu18 20]

I'm also very glad to have found this forum. Not to sound cliche, but you took a huge step to take care of yourself and get healthy. Statistically speaking, people have a 5% chance of losing weight by dieting and keeping it off. Bariatric surgery is becoming the recommended treatment for obesity. I'm five days post-op and I have struggled with the usual battles of nausea, getting adequate hydration, etc. but I still think I took a brave step and one that will help me in the future. Ignore the social media posts where everyone has lost tons of weight on some great program. People only post the rosiest things about themselves on social media (except here, which I love!). Don't let them be your yardstick.

Girl walk! Lol. It will help with the nausea and a brave step we did take. It's not easy doing this. As for the social media posts, I actually follow one guy who shared his journey from the beginning to present day and it just bothers me to know that I couldn't do it the same way or didn't give it my all before. However, in happy with my choice. My quality of life, little by little, is improving. So I'm sticking it out.

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[BigLu18 20]

12 hours ago, Creekimp13 said:

You're adorable, BigLu:) Vent away! Congrats on taking action to gift yourself and your family with a healthier you.

Awww, thanks lol.

[BigLu18 20]

I wish I had the surgery at your age.
If you did not have the surgery, and waited to my age, you would have gone through 20 more years of failed diets.
You will still have to loose weight naturally. Bariatric surgery is NOT a solution, its a tool. Even people with the surgery will loose weight, and gain a lot back because they stopped working on their health. Your stomach will get larger eventually. This surgery is NOT a one way track to your ideal weight.
YOU WILL HAVE TO WORK ON YOUR DIETS NOW, NEXT YEAR, AND FOREVER. Let me repeat that, YOU WILL HAVE TO WORK ON YOUR DIETS NOW, NEXT YEAR, AND FOREVER. The surgery is a big help, a giant jump start and increases your success potential.
It's all up to you to keep on your diet. And your diets won't be enough, you need to be active, and exercise more than you have before. As you loose weight, you'll be able to so more, and it you want to get to your ideal weight, you will need to work out, naturally, like everyone else.
You had your surgery not long ago, your rate of weight loss will taper off, and then you'll be working hard.
.
So, in the relatively near future, you will be working naturally to loose weight still, or maintain your weight.
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Well see that's where I just can't understand why I couldn't do the same thing before. Without surgery, following a regiment like the one we all have to do will produce the results. I know the stomach will enlarge again, I know if I stop putting in the work I'll just end up in the same boat I was in it just seems so crazy to me. The best way I can explain it is that I feel like I'm an athletic person trapped in this body but still just couldn't get the job done... idk, it's hard to explain. Hope you can unravel what I'm trying to say.

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[BigLu18 20]

Gosh, I don’t know why, because I don’t ever get emotional, but tears came to my eyes reading your story! I can relate to your struggles and your reasons for surgery. Your words resonated with me. You are doing this for your family first, and then for yourself. We all have our reasons, but I feel in my heart that you are ready. Congrats on starting your journey! I hope you stick around so I can continue to follow your story.

Thank you so much! Your words mean a lot. Didn't mean to get you teary eyed lol it's just been alot to process lately.

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[BigLu18 20]

This is a perfect place to vent. Everyone here is very understanding and give great advice. Also very uplifting. You shouldn't have any negative feeling about having this surgery. It's all new now and will take time to get used to it. Your doing it for the right reasons, I'm sure you'll be satisfied when you reach goal or start seeing more weight come off. Keep your head up brother and good luck on your journey!!!

I love the feedback from everyone. When I first signed up for this forum, as I stated, I spent hours just reading threads and reviewing comments and the support everyone gave/gives each other is just remarkable! As for me, I wouldn't say I have negative feelings towards the surgery, I just question myself in terms of did I really give it my all before...but what's done is done. I'm just trying to get used to my new way of life. Thank you for the encouragement!

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