Emotional eaters: What made you change for good?

[Assya 2]

Hi everyone

Happy 4th of July! Newbie here seriously exploring a sleeve. I am looking for advice from people who use food as an emotional crutch, a friend, the only relationship you really have etc. I have always known my obesity since I was 16 was always related to psychological issues and not physiological. I am in therapy and until now I never considered surgery because I knew it was a tool but if deep down I did not choose to get better, surgery was not going to change that.

I started researching surgery because the health consequences of the weight are manifesting very seriously. But as scared as I am of diabetes, arthritis, and loss of mobility, for some reason none of that convinces me to put the food down. It's so irrational that no matter how many issues the weight brings or how much life I feel like I am wasting (no boyfriend, very few friends, limited social life and few activities) I still choose 2 minutes of food bliss over a leaner option. I tried WW, food anonymous, therapy, hypnosis, CBT... At the end of the day if you don't want to change deep down, no one can change in your place. It terrifies me because part of me really wants to move forward in life and part of me can't put the fork down. I plan to go to a residential treatment center (a rehab in other words) to try to get to the bottom of this but in the meantime, can you guys (who may relate) share your own journey?

I am convinced food addiction exists (we can debate that later) and I have seen the folks at food anonymous use the 12 steps to beat food addiction and reclaim their lives. But I couldn't follow the plan and my head hunger got the best of me. I am frankly desperate because I don't know if the surgery can help me. I want to know how you guys managed, what happened in your head that made you go through liquid diets without your cravings crawling under your skin and drive you crazy? Every month I get an epiphany that lasts a few days but then I sink back into a carb loaded food coma and the pounds keep piling... How did you keep the aha moment going? What tools or strategies did you have to follow through?

Thank you so much!!

[Lara83 20]

You have just summed up my journey and issues perfectly and I too have the very same question about surgery. I have been seeing a metabolic and nutrition physician who has said that surgery will assist with the hormones that make you eat when you aren’t hungry, which occurs more with obesity. But I am still not totally convinced that surgery will be my solution because I can’t get the psychological side sorted.

[Matt Z 4,139]

Biggest stopping point for my emotional eating. Being fat and gross looking/feeling was making me more emotional... so the emotional eating was making thing worse. That revelation paved the way for major

[DaleCruse 756]

I don't have all the answers. But something you wrote caught my attention: "Every month I get an epiphany that lasts a few days..."

This is good. This tells me self awareness & clarity are bubbling to the surface. Every month when you have this epiphany, what do you do about it? Do you write it down somewhere & look at it repeatedly? Do you create to-dos? Do you put anything on a calendar to accomplish? A thought - no matter how insightful - without a plan goes nowhere.

You are not alone. Good luck.

[TakingABreak 2,733]

I think food addiction is a thing for sure. I haven't been diagnosed with that, but I believe its a real thing. I've said this time and time again that this is 80% head, and only 20% body. You have to fight the urge, change your ways, and cope in different ways.

I suffer from PTSD from childhood sexual abuse, and I think eating helped me cope with that. When I had my psych eval the doctor asked me if putting on weight, was it like a security blanket for me? Did I think that I'd be fearful of a reoccurrence (of my trauma) if I was thinner? I answered, no, but I didn't know the full scope of how being "thin" would feel like. I have been heavier my whole life. Even in high school I was athletic, but heavy. So who knows, as I get smaller, will I feel more vulnerable? My point is, that a lot of people cope with stress, trauma, anxiety, ect. with eating. I think this might as well be a food addiction. It's just like how alcoholics reach for the bottle. We use it in the moment to cope. Its a temporary fix, and doesn't solve the problem.

11 hours ago, Assya said:

Every month I get an epiphany that lasts a few days but then I sink back into a carb loaded food coma and the pounds keep piling...

I used to be this way as well, but I hit my rock bottom. I literally felt disgusted by my actions and knew that I was heading towards an early grave. I no longer rolled my eyes when people expressed concern for my health, because I knew they were right. I was fearful.

I think therapy is a great idea, and I always recommend to establish with someone prior to surgery. It doesn't matter who you are, everyone would benefit from talking it out with professional from time-to-time.

Ultimately, I hope that you get help, and have this surgery. Your life will change forever.

[Neri 73]

I'm only about halfway through my surgeon's program to get my surgery, but your story is similar to mine in some ways. Still, one of the things that I'm doing to fight my food addiction is actually right here on this forum. See my profile picture? That's one of my engagement photos. I was absolutely horrified when I got the photos back and finally saw how big I am compared to him. His arms can't even wrap around me.

I decided on surgery because I felt like I've tried everything else, but I still want to spend a long life with him. So, to keep myself going, I put one of my engagement photos someplace at work and at home where I will see it every day as a reminder to myself of part of the reason why I'm doing this.

[browneyez42 280]

Hi everyone
Happy 4th of July! Newbie here seriously exploring a sleeve. I am looking for advice from people who use food as an emotional crutch, a friend, the only relationship you really have etc. I have always known my obesity since I was 16 was always related to psychological issues and not physiological. I am in therapy and until now I never considered surgery because I knew it was a tool but if deep down I did not choose to get better, surgery was not going to change that.
I started researching surgery because the health consequences of the weight are manifesting very seriously. But as scared as I am of diabetes, arthritis, and loss of mobility, for some reason none of that convinces me to put the food down. It's so irrational that no matter how many issues the weight brings or how much life I feel like I am wasting (no boyfriend, very few friends, limited social life and few activities) I still choose 2 minutes of food bliss over a leaner option. I tried WW, food anonymous, therapy, hypnosis, CBT... At the end of the day if you don't want to change deep down, no one can change in your place. It terrifies me because part of me really wants to move forward in life and part of me can't put the fork down. I plan to go to a residential treatment center (a rehab in other words) to try to get to the bottom of this but in the meantime, can you guys (who may relate) share your own journey?
I am convinced food addiction exists (we can debate that later) and I have seen the folks at food anonymous use the 12 steps to beat food addiction and reclaim their lives. But I couldn't follow the plan and my head hunger got the best of me. I am frankly desperate because I don't know if the surgery can help me. I want to know how you guys managed, what happened in your head that made you go through liquid diets without your cravings crawling under your skin and drive you crazy? Every month I get an epiphany that lasts a few days but then I sink back into a carb loaded food coma and the pounds keep piling... How did you keep the aha moment going? What tools or strategies did you have to follow through?
Thank you so much!!

What made me change was my one year old grand daughter. One day we were out and she fell asleep and I had to carry her to the car. My back hurt and I was breathing hard. It was a short walk but it seemed like miles. That day I began my research. My only regret is that I didn't have the surgery sooner. I'm grateful for losing 44 pounds and will continue this journey. Everytime I see her, it gives me a reason to not go back to my old habits.



Sleeved on April 25, 2018
HW: 258
SW: 238
CW: 216
GW: 165