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"You don't seem big enough for surgery..."



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"You don't seem big enough for weight loss surgery..." Well, I was over 50bmi, so if that's not, then what exactly IS "big enough"?!?

...or what I currently get is, "you're getting too skinny... you've got to stop losing!" Well, I JUST got out of obesity for the first time in 20+ years and am at 29bmi, so I'm not exactly, "too skinny."

Ever notice how 99% of the time it's other obese people who make these comments? I suppose misery loves company, and the healthier you get, the worse the other obese people in your life feel about themselves as they see us improving our lives, gaining confidence, and getting attention.

I just wish some others could be motivated to pick themselves up instead of trying to bring us down when they see our success.

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I did not keep my surgery a secret, so I have heard some feedback on my decision from co-workers and friends. My friends know me well, so no questioning my decision there. Co-workers mostly had questions about the procedure and what it does. Many people told me they did not think I was overweight and seemed surprised when I told them I am in fact obese and it is already starting to cause health problems (BP and sleep apnea). I also advised both my parents had type 2 diabetes and that I am trying to avoid that. I never noticed that much before the surgery, but I am noticing now that so many people are over weight. Maybe this is seen as the new norm. Maybe because some over weight people do not have the health issues associated with obesity they believe everyone should feel as good as they do? I don't know, but the few times I have shared my actual weight with a co-worker they seemed shocked. We all carry our fat in different places and hide it with flattering fat clothes when we can.

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I get “don’t lose anymore weight, you won’t look good.” Some even ask my weight and then say something like “oh you look like you weigh less than that.” Um ok.
I think that’s the reaction to seeing the rapidness of WLS

I just crossed into normal BMI and goal is the middle of the range. I don’t think that’s crazy.

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Well this goes back to our past topic Surgery-the easy way but yours truly think week experienced above posters first- cousin statement, friend,soon to be demoted to. mere acquaintance, Funny you don't look YOUNG enough for surgery! WTF? All I could think to say was to say with a sarcastic tone in my voice " How sweet and kind of you to say that, Phyllis-Anne!" Half of it she broke my over sensitive ❤, but the red-headed half wanted to scream YOU JUST CURDLED,THE MILK OF HUMAN LINDNESS IN MY SOUL, but the whipped puppy side of baby Frustr8 won and I slink away although I wasn't the one doing anything wrong.😧

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
      · 1 reply
      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
      · 0 replies
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    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
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