Does the attention bother you?

[miss_smiles 192]

Absolutely hated the attention! I wasn’t used to it, and I would find myself socially drinking more to deal with the anxiety. It also messed me up in the head because I would always think, wow people treat me so much nicer now. Holding open doors, asking how my day is, random strangers smiling at me in the street. Is that what life is like on the other side of fat? It was glorious, until I realized all of that and then I just got depressed. Took me awhile to find a happy medium. I’m sure all of us notice things, I especially notice now people on the train (nyc mta) didn’t used to sit next to me cause I spilled over, and now they do. Don’t let it get in your head too much!! I started gaining the weight back-and things went right back to how they used to be and it was horrible. Stay positive and don’t let people drag you down. It’s not worth it.

[James Marusek 5,244]

I don't mind the attention. Before surgery, society did not see me. I was invisible. After surgery, I became visible.

There are many invisible people in this world. I make it a point whenever I go shopping I notice the name of the person on their name tags. And as I am paying I tell them thank you by name. Many of these people are invisible too. Because I look good, normal, this catches many of them by surprise and I think in some small way, makes their day.

[TakingABreak 2,733]

On 06/23/2018 at 07:35, James Marusek said:

I don't mind the attention. Before surgery, society did not see me. I was invisible. After surgery, I became visible.

There are many invisible people in this world. I make it a point whenever I go shopping I notice the name of the person on their name tags. And as I am paying I tell them thank you by name. Many of these people are invisible too. Because I look good, normal, this catches many of them by surprise and I think in some small way, makes their day.

Love your outlook! Thanks for sharing!

[Frustr8 7,886]

I do two pretty,neat things, well let's face,it, I'm prettyneat all the way around, But 2 things I will cite. I thank every veteran I meet for their service, they took time out of their busy,lives to serve and preserve my freedom. My right to get on here and spout,off if I want to.In many societies I would be frowned on or stifled.
Also I thank every cashier. See I once was there, I know how it feels to be an unimportant cog in a big machine. So when my cashier says Thanks for shopping at Store X I always say and Thank you for being my cashier. Oh and the smiles I get, one girl girl started to break down and cry. Does attention bother me, yeah sometimes but I still want to be known as a nice person instead of for my sizen chest endowment or red hair.< br />

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

I pay attention to waiters names and always address them by name. Sometimes they're totally taken aback..

[GreenTealael 25,439]

On 6/22/2018 at 10:29 AM, AshAsh1 said:

How is everyone dealing/coping with the attention that comes with weight loss?

I know personally, its been weird for me. Sometimes I feel happy when people compliment me, but other times, I feel horrible because I think to myself, no one treated me this well before. No one went out of their way to say, "I like your shirt." or "your nail polish is lovely." Now, I get compliments all the time on everything, not just my weight. Was I so disgusting before that people didn't look at my nail polish, or my fat clothes weren't cute? I'm ashamed of how bad I let myself get. I'm ashamed....

You speak the utter truth, people (strangers) treat me like royalty now where they were simply nice before. I'm so disappointed in humans. I can't believe the change and if it was only men I would not be suspicious...

[GotProlactinoma 458]

Definitely notice and do cringe at how it is so, that people interact less and compliment less with people who are fat. When I was young, I was thin and shapely. Then the kids and the obesity-making prolactinoma (a pituitary tumor that has a side effect of obesity, yay). Now it’s almost a year out and people are definitely nicer to me 60+ lbs down. And it does kind of hurt to think fat people aren’t getting a normal amount of attention from the world.

So I’m choosing to turn it around and give heavier people I see more eye contact, more smiles, more interaction.

[Gundy 139]

Could it be that you have more confidence and wear things standing a bit taller? My weight made me shrink (not literally!) from others and just hide in black.

[TakingABreak 2,733]

On 06/23/2018 at 17:37, Gundy said:

Could it be that you have more confidence and wear things standing a bit taller? My weight made me shrink (not literally!) from others and just hide in black.

Very possible!

[TakingABreak 2,733]

On 06/22/2018 at 23:53, RapidFirePickle said:

Ash, I am one of those people who WOULD have complimented your clothes, nails, smile BEFORE you started this journey. I've always been that kind of person. It's too bad most of the people you've encountered are so unappreciative of those around them.

Hugs from Alaska!

Thank you 😊

[Gundy 139]

People didn’t see me or notice me before surgery because I didn’t want to be seen. I was humiliated by my size and hid within myself. That really isn’t their fault!

If you don’t like the compliments or attention, please send it my way! I’m all ears.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Yeah I've done the black and dark shade thing. Then I had a moment of clarity
No one has ever complimented a charcoal briquet on how slender they looked today.
So why hide in colors like burnt wood or dirt? Be proud of you, you would not be here if the world did not have need of you. Be the best YOU that you can be.
You are special, you are wonderful, Stand tall and confident, you need nobody propping you up, Sing out, Sing your song and make the world listen. If it doesn't it is not your fault, the lack lies in them!😝👍😝

[sideeye 1,440]

I'd lost weight before (70 lbs at a go) before, so I knew this was coming and lined up a mental health counselor because I knew I was going to hit a point where I hate all mankind. Unfortunately, it does happen - suddenly people are much nicer to you, men are much more attentive, people treat you in a way you haven't experienced, and some of these people are close friends or family! Coworkers start inviting you to drinks, people want you to come to parties, you're asked to do presentations or join work teams, etc etc.

It's unbelievably depressing because you know that the only thing that changed about you is your weight, so it makes you think very dark thoughts about the rest of humanity, who are apparently so superficial that they gauge the way they treat people on their size. Horrendous.

...THAT SAID, I actually do behave differently now I'm slimmer. My family has noticed it and remarked on it. I've personally noticed I have more energy and am probably giving off an "invite me!" vibe when earlier I had a "leave me alone I'm going home" vibe. I've always described myself as an extroverted introvert (I come off as social, but if I don't have serious chunks of alone time planned I kind of lose it) but the balance has changed a little - I'm now less territorial about quiet/alone time. I'm making more time to just be around and chat, when previously I'd seclude myself and recharge. I think I just have more energy overall and that also means the mental energy to deal with other people.

I recently talked about this with my cousin, who just had her 10 year reunion from high school. A kid who was quite large apparently lost a LOT of weight, and people at the reunion were chatting him up and complimenting him. My cousin heard afterwards that he'd been really, really angry and scornful about a lot of those people, and I'm guessing it's for exactly this reason: why wasn't he good enough when he was the exact same person, just heavier? And why the hell do people think he's magically forgotten how dismissive and remote they were in high school, now that they apparently find him more attractive and are willing to talk to him?

I'm good with the attention now, but I think it's because I know it's coming, I have mental health backup, and also because I have a career that most people find pretty interesting so my appearance is hardly the most attractive thing about me. Ten years ago when I lost the same amount of weight and had none of those safeguards was a very, very different and depressing experience that likely contributed to regain as I basically tried to "hide" from all of these horrible, superficial people.

[Dshell 33]

12 hours ago, Frustr8 said:

Yeah I've done the black and dark shade thing. Then I had a moment of clarity
No one has ever complimented a charcoal briquet on how slender they looked today.
So why hide in colors like burnt wood or dirt? Be proud of you, you would not be here if the world did not have need of you. Be the best YOU that you can be.
You are special, you are wonderful, Stand tall and confident, you need nobody propping you up, Sing out, Sing your song and make the world listen. If it doesn't it is not your fault, the lack lies in them!😝👍😝

Well said 😜

[Wendyfm 494]

I work in a school, so I’ve always got compliments for something, you know, love your shoes or your shirt things like that. When I had surgery and started losing weight in 2014, the complements tripled to the point where I started to expect complements, although we have one sub who would look me up and down like I was a horse for sale, which was less than flattering. At four years out I still get complements, just not for weight loss.