How are you treated by your mate!!!

[holly7744 8]

I've been with the same guy for 20 years we have 4 kids. Never married. I'm 11 days to my sleeve. Ever since I started this journey he has treated me like crap. Any one else going through this.

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[Creekimp13 5,840]

In our seminar we were told that bariatric surgery makes good relationships better and troubled relationships worse. (not saying your relationship is bad....just saying that it does seem to bring existing issues to the surface and demand that they be addressed)

There's a reason bariatric surgery is often coined "divorce surgery"....because it does seem to be the catalyst of the end of relationships in a lot of circumstances.

It could be his insecurity at the idea of you being more fit and attractive, it could be that he's attached to your old eating habits and doesn't want to change them, could be a lot of changes that come with doing something positive for yourself....assertiveness, confidence, outspokenness, interest in doing more, etc.

Regardless of what's going on....I would take it seriously and work on it. Have the hard discussions. Figure out if you need some counseling to help sort through it....it never hurts.

Best wishes!

[holly7744 8]

In our seminar we were told that bariatric surgery makes good relationships better and troubled relationships worse. (not saying your relationship is bad....just saying that it does seem to bring existing issues to the surface and demand that they be addressed)
There's a reason bariatric surgery is often coined "divorce surgery"....because it does seem to be the catalyst of the end of relationships in a lot of circumstances.
It could be his insecurity at the idea of you being more fit and attractive, it could be that he's attached to your old eating habits and doesn't want to change them, could be a lot of changes that come with doing something positive for yourself....assertiveness, confidence, outspokenness, interest in doing more, etc.
Regardless of what's going on....I would take it seriously and work on it. Have the hard discussions. Figure out if you need some counseling to help sort through it....it never hurts.
Best wishes!

Thank-you


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[Sleeved36 356]

So sorry. Try to get him to express what he is feeling. He could just be scared of change or insecure. Or worried you will make him change too. Or worried you will stop cooking.

Could be all kinds of things. Good luck!

[RapidFirePickle 119]

We've been best friends for 31 years, a couple for 27 years, and married for 23. We've been through a lot in our relationship, but always come out stronger on the other side. He's been very supportive and loving. I am sorry that your partner is having a hard time dealing with this process, but you need a better situation. Maybe couples counseling would help?

[laurileet 86]

My husband was supportive before surgery. But what I didn't realize is how nervous he was about it all. Turns out, he was thinking of his Mother then entire time. Years ago she had gone in for a breast reduction, and had a stroke on the table. Her health went steadily downward from there until she pass several years later. He had that on the brain, but didn't share it with me beforehand. I found out from other family members AFTER my sleeve was done. Try to get your other 1/2 to share what they're feeling. You may be completely surprised why they are acting they way they are.

[Beardman 52]

Well, my wife and I had our vsgs a month apart so it's been great to have full support. I can imagine that had I not gone through the process it might have been more difficult.

[CalGuy64 66]

WLS can really change relationships. My ex-wife had WLS six years ago. Her surgery was very successful (522lbs to 165lbs). Once her weight stabilized she had several reconstructive plastic surgeries. Shortly thereafter she asked for a divorce (I was no longer her best option).

I had my surgery last year and have lost about 115lbs. The way women interact with me has totally changed. This includes my ex-wife who I still have to talk to since we parent our kids jointly.

All this has actually lowered my already problematic estimation of most people.

[Seahawks Fan 771]

On 6/17/2018 at 11:58 AM, holly7744 said:

I've been with the same guy for 20 years we have 4 kids. Never married. I'm 11 days to my sleeve. Ever since I started this journey he has treated me like crap. Any one else going through this.

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Yes! Me.

Edited June 18, 2018 by Seahawks Fan

[holly7744 8]

Yes! Me.

Are you in wa

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[Seahawks Fan 771]

53 minutes ago, holly7744 said:

Are you in wa

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Yes I am.

[holly7744 8]

Yes I am.

So am i.

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[Seahawks Fan 771]

2 minutes ago, holly7744 said:

So am i.

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I’m in Spokane.

[holly7744 8]

I’m in Spokane.

Small world buddy

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[Jdesmond73 138]

I hope your guy comes around and am sorry to hear that he has not been supportive. I am blessed to have an amazingly supportive Wife. She encouraged me to have the surgery about a Year before I finally pulled the trigger and has been amazing throughout the whole process