Death in the family immediately post-op

[Caryn128 11]

Has anyone had to deal with the death of a parent right after surgery. My dad passed unexpectedly 3 days post op and I’m really struggling. My surgery was 6/12 and he passed on 6/15. I’m a mess. My mom has early stage Alzheimer’s and he was her care giver. So I’m planning the funeral all by myself and dealing with my mom. I had to stop taking my pain killers because I needed to be able to drive. I’m so stressed and surrounded by food. And I’m hungry and nauseated at the same time. This can’t good. Help!

[holly7744 8]

Has anyone had to deal with the death of a parent right after surgery. My dad passed unexpectedly 3 days post op and I’m really struggling. My surgery was 6/12 and he passed on 6/15. I’m a mess. My mom has early stage Alzheimer’s and he was her care giver. So I’m planning the funeral all by myself and dealing with my mom. I had to stop taking my pain killers because I needed to be able to drive. I’m so stressed and surrounded by food. And I’m hungry and nauseated at the same time. This can’t good. Help!

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry you are having such a ruff time.

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[eso0402 20]

I just want to say how admirable you are for dealing with all of this hun. I am sure you feel like you cannot go on especially post op where our bodies are getting used to all these changes.
I am so sorry for your loss. You can do this. You are strong even when you dont feel strong.
My prayers are with you

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[Frustr8 7,886]

Caryn , I'm hugging you, because I know you need it. What a traffic bewildering thing to happen. Now take a breath, you are going to get through this. Keep up with your fluids, food you can worry about later. Your Dad would not want you hurting yourself by not following the post surgery rules. One foot in front of the,other 👣I had a son die unexpectedly,at 31, so I also have walked this walk. You will make it through but,don't be afraid to ask for help, even if it is respite care for your mother or something else. You showed great strength by just going through your surgery now it is going need an extra reserve,to continue. Do you have friends, clergy , medical staff etc that can help? Cell in all the markets you can to make it past. And if you need to talk, until you can seek more professional consolting you do have your Bariatric Pal. family. May of us have gone through similar, we want to help and never need feel alone. Okay and it is okay to cry 💦 We All Have ourselves.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

So sorry your dad passed and you have all these responsibilities when you need care yourself....big hugs to you.

Can you find some county services to come and take care of your mom? Or maybe a senior center day care? Or maybe your church group or something. Cousins? Siblings? Best friends?

Drink plenty of Fluid and try to sleep when you can. Even just a nap. We had to hire someone to stay with my MIL after my FIL died because my MIL had dementia, it was hard but it helped so much.

I wish you the best.

[Creekimp13 5,840]

I am really sorry about your Dad.

What a lot to deal with. Yeesh.

If you have any reinforcements....Now is the time to call them in. A bestie, a cousin, an aunt...anyone you trust. You need help.

You need to drink. Sip, sip, sip. This is so important. Keep drinking your clears and keep drinking your protien drinks. Put a couple in your car. Put a couple in your purse. Keep drinking. It's your most important job right now.

You need to rest when you're tired, but don't sit or lay for too long. You need to get up and walk every hour if possible, except when you sleep at night. Don't exhaust yourself, but keep moving.

If you're doing cremation, consider delaying the funeral. My mother in law passed unexpectedly and we did her funeral a month after her death because there were significant health crisis's among the core family. It's unusual, but there is no law against it and people really do understand.

Best wishes, and again, heartfelt condolences.

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

I am so very sorry for your loss. As other posters have said, let people help you if they can. There is only so much you can do. ((Hugs))

[Bryn910 519]

I am so sorry for your loss. This must be extremely difficult to deal with.

I know I am repeating myself, but I hope you have someone to help you, even if it’s a dear friend or close co-worker. Maybe you can have your mom in respite care while you sort things out for her so you don’t have to worry too much about her

[Everything 388]

I see this is an old post - yes, I can relate. I was scheduled for surgery on 12/13/18 but my Mom died on Dec 5th. This was particularly hard as I was alone in dealing (and still am). I have no brothers, sisters, dad, aunt, uncles, etc. and my husband had to be in Florida working so I was in TX all alone when she died and been going back an forth for months before and after her surgery during her cancer treatments, hospice, and now checking on her house and dealing with her affairs. I have now rescheduled surgery for week after next. Sorry for your loss - hope it worked out OK for you in the end.

[Frustr8 7,886]

I am so sorry for your loss but I'm sure she would be proud of your upcoming surgery. And I'm glad you are getting things reorganized, but at this point you are so weary of having to tie up loose ends. This reminds me I should tell someone what I like about the pre-funeral planning etc. Don't want my 2 kids having to worry too much, when I start talking about that thing they get all fidgety, and they are full-blown adults.