How do you respond?

[MN_Meg770 125]

Hi all,

I am 5 weeks out from surgery. My brother who is also my roommate has told me twice “if you just didn’t eat junk food or fast food you wouldn’t need that surgery.” He also asked if I think maybe surgery is a bit extreme. I’m at a total loss how to answer him. I did say that even if I dieted and exercised vigorously I would still be diabetic, but with surgery chances are the diabetes will be reversed.

Is he right!? Am I just denying the truth and being lazy? I’m feeling defeated and unsure right now.

Megan

[Myaiku_Kuraitani 245]

Just tell him that just because he has an opinion doesn't mean he should share it. No one knows your body better than you do and this surgery will save your life. Diabetes can be deadly. He's no doctor and although he's family and you may value his opinion, he's just not right.

Dieting and exercise isn't always helpful. Only you know what's best for you, he doesn't. He's not you and he isn't living your life. Bet he didn't even bother to research either procedure. He should support you not bring you down.

Hw-273
Sw-226
CW-124
GW-130
Size- 2, Small in sweats. Small in shirts. depends on how it's cut or made.
Bra Size- 34C

Surgery Date- April 26th, 2017
RNY
"Only those who try will become" FFX

[dathvick 150]

I was diabetic before surgery also, at one point in time my A1C was over 11. I was taking the following every day to control it;

4 Metformin (pills)
120 units of Lantis (2injections)
3 injections of Novalog
Victoza injection

A total of 6 injections a day before surgery. As of now the only medication I take for the diabetes is one injection of 25 units of lantis before bed (and I am slowly decreasing that).

Getting rid of the diabetes was my primary goal of having the surgery. The surgery also cured my high blood pressure and high cholesterol. I am off all prescription medication now except the 1 small injection a day of lantis (insulin).

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

It's really hard when family isn't supportive. Imho, tell him you've done your research and made a decision. However, you'll be happy to consider his side when he shows you his research. In my experience, the minute you ask someone to do some work, they just move on. Afterwards, if he brings up his opinions, just say "I'm really interested in the research you found." He'll shut up.

[kimbers18 101]

My family was not supportive of my decision either -- my parents, sister, and husband were all trying to talk me out of it even as I was heading to the operating room. They had the same reasoning -- if you just ate better, worked out, etc. I had done all of those things for spurts over the past 25 years (since I was a pre-teen), but my willpower gave out when the scale stopped moving for weeks at a time despite the work. I was pre-diabetic, had high blood pressure, hypothyroid, and I couldn't move enough to work out properly. The surgery was my only option.

I've rocked post-surgery (granted, the first month sucked)...I'm not pre-diabetic anymore, my blood pressure is perfect, I can walk, do chores, go to the grocery store without needing a nap, and the scale is moving. I'm developing healthy habits and I finally see my goal as obtainable.

In a recent support group meeting my husband came along and told the group that he was 100% against this surgery, but in the three months post-surgery he's been shocked at how seriously I've taken it, how I've followed the plan, and how the plan has worked. He now understands that I knew I needed to do this and he knows it was the best decision I've ever made for myself.

Ignore the naysayers. You are the only one who knows what is best for you. If you've done the research, talked to the doctors, and understand what this entails, then you are the only one in the position to decide what step to take next.

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

8 minutes ago, kimbers18 said:

In a recent support group meeting my husband came along and told the group that he was 100% against this surgery, but in the three months post-surgery he's been shocked at how seriously I've taken it, how I've followed the plan, and how the plan has worked. He now understands that I knew I needed to do this and he knows it was the best decision I've ever made for myself.

I am so glad he finally came around, albeit pretty late in the game. At least he's not still harping on all the money spent, not necessary, doesn't make a diff, etc. Because you're really always going to want him in your corner.

[JohnnyCakes 593]

omg tell your brother to F*CK. OFF.

Edited June 17, 2018 by JohnnyCakes

[Orchids&Dragons 9,047]

1 hour ago, JohnnyCakes said:

omg tell your brother to F*CK. OFF.

Not one to mince words, are you? LOL!

[utsupatel 8]

My family was not supportive of my decision either -- my parents, sister, and husband were all trying to talk me out of it even as I was heading to the operating room. They had the same reasoning -- if you just ate better, worked out, etc. I had done all of those things for spurts over the past 25 years (since I was a pre-teen), but my willpower gave out when the scale stopped moving for weeks at a time despite the work. I was pre-diabetic, had high blood pressure, hypothyroid, and I couldn't move enough to work out properly. The surgery was my only option.
I've rocked post-surgery (granted, the first month sucked)...I'm not pre-diabetic anymore, my blood pressure is perfect, I can walk, do chores, go to the grocery store without needing a nap, and the scale is moving. I'm developing healthy habits and I finally see my goal as obtainable.
In a recent support group meeting my husband came along and told the group that he was 100% against this surgery, but in the three months post-surgery he's been shocked at how seriously I've taken it, how I've followed the plan, and how the plan has worked. He now understands that I knew I needed to do this and he knows it was the best decision I've ever made for myself.
Ignore the naysayers. You are the only one who knows what is best for you. If you've done the research, talked to the doctors, and understand what this entails, then you are the only one in the position to decide what step to take next.

I am 26yrs old. I wanted to get this surgery done since 4 5yrs but my family was not supporting. I was back home at that time. Kept asking my parents they didn't approve it. I took my decision. I am proud of myself that i took my own decision for good. My roommate supported me even if she was against it. She accompanied me for Surgery. I lost 9kgs im 13days. Hoping for things to go smooth. I want to answer people who always made me realise that even after having everything i had one thing missing in my life , I am fat. Well wait and watch now. My dad is very happy after i told him about this surgery. Waiting for some good outcomes to tell my mom about it.
I hope it is a life changing for us.
Cheers to our decision.

Sent from my SM-N950W using BariatricPal mobile app

[MN_Meg770 125]

Thanks all. He admitted he is just worried about me and afraid I’ll regret it because of side effects. Like many of you I want to feel better and beat diabetes. I’m anxious to get this new life moving.

[MN_Meg770 125]

4 hours ago, utsupatel said:

I am 26yrs old. I wanted to get this surgery done since 4 5yrs but my family was not supporting. I was back home at that time. Kept asking my parents they didn't approve it. I took my decision. I am proud of myself that i took my own decision for good. My roommate supported me even if she was against it. She accompanied me for Surgery. I lost 9kgs im 13days. Hoping for things to go smooth. I want to answer people who always made me realise that even after having everything i had one thing missing in my life , I am fat. Well wait and watch now. My dad is very happy after i told him about this surgery. Waiting for some good outcomes to tell my mom about it.
I hope it is a life changing for us.
Cheers to our decision.

Sent from my SM-N950W using BariatricPal mobile app

Good for you for being your own advocate and so strong!! I

[MN_Meg770 125]

13 hours ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

It's really hard when family isn't supportive. Imho, tell him you've done your research and made a decision. However, you'll be happy to consider his side when he shows you his research. In my experience, the minute you ask someone to do some work, they just move on. Afterwards, if he brings up his opinions, just say "I'm really interested in the research you found." He'll shut up.

Thanks. I’m glad my mom and friends are supportive. My brother will be once he sees the weight come off and I can succeed.

[RapidFirePickle 119]

The way my surgeon explained it is that you thermostat is broken (diabetes) and the surgery will repair and reset the thermostat. Some of us have deranged metabolisms that have genetic and environmental components. the surgery levels the playing field by combating the metabolic derangement, and the changing of our eating habits and becoming more active helps perpetuate that change.

[Frustr8 7,886]

And when you have a stall and all of us will at one time or another, don't start to woory, fret and lose your cool. A stall is your body's way of rebooting. We go into this Weight Loss Plan thinking all we need is our surgery and then 's room the weight flies away. News update YOU ARE NOT A ROCKET SHIP! People are more like a cranky old jalopy, you travel along, chugging chuggity, then you hit your first stall, you may have up your fluids, you may have to up your ecercise, it may just simply take time, you drop some weight, and then chuggity chuggity until the next stall comes. It does work, with patience, you will reach Shangri La. It may take 6 months, a year , eighteen months or even 2 years. my own results may be,nice as an example. In the positive column:
I am having an RnY, I am more committed than most because this may be my last and best chance,for a better future
Negative: I am 72 years old so my,Basal Metabolism is pretty stuck in nuteral whereas the younger people may naturally be in overdrive.
Their speedometer may say Lets Move Ahead- mine says Let's slow down and retire.
They can swing from monkey bars, to stairtracker to leg presses and,back,again at the gym , they can be gym rats
I'm a creaky old sawhorse, I wheeze like an steam engine with a leak in the boiler and move as fast as a slug with a small shot of caffeine, I'm moving only at a certain rate and speed. And every joint in my body says WTF what do you think you are doing to me? People go to my gym for muscles, and strength, I go to for exercise tolerance and the grace to endurecand persevere.hAs I enter my silver years, won't say Gold I can't afford,it or Platinum on my budget 8 should have earned the right to choose my battles.
Then one comes my EWL,estimation of. Weight Loss
According to BMI chart,and Surgeon#1(curses upon his pointy little head) 140 pounds
According to my dream and Valerie my CNP 175 pounds
Logical answer takng into account age and natural exercise,levels 195 or slightly below
Quite a difference between 140 and 195, right?
Then down from High Weight of 355 to 320 immediately,presurgical date- does make one comptemplate the feasability of it all?👈😆👉

[MN_Meg770 125]

18 hours ago, RapidFirePickle said:

The way my surgeon explained it is that you thermostat is broken (diabetes) and the surgery will repair and reset the thermostat. Some of us have deranged metabolisms that have genetic and environmental components. the surgery levels the playing field by combating the metabolic derangement, and the changing of our eating habits and becoming more active helps perpetuate that change.

Great idea!! Thanks for this comparison (: