Frustrated-husband sleeved too but losing more with less healthy food

[HappyRN 8]

My husband was sleeved last year in September and is down about 80 lbs. I was sleeved the end of January and am down 52. He eats pretty much whatever he wants but at a small portion. He is not eating very healthy and is bringing junk home. I am trying to eat healthy but it is hard when junk food is in the house. That is why we are where we are at is because we ate junk. I am frustrated because I want this to be a great experience and be a healthier family. I believe it is affecting my weight loss and want to continue to lose.

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

Congrats on your weight loss - it is a great achievement! Stay strong.

Perhaps you should go out for coffee together and have a heart-to-heart with the husband. Remind him of how respectful you were when he was newly sleeved and how it helped him, and now that it is your turn you NEED the same (need not want). If he can't recommit, suggest counseling. If he won't go to counseling, go by yourself.

At the VERY least he should eat that crap outside the home, and not bring it around you. Don't let him make you buy it with the weekly groceries. Hang in there because you ultimately cannot control another person.

[HappyRN 8]

Thank you for your support. I will have to have a talk with him. I dont want to fall back into my old habits.

[RickM 1,752]

This shows what a great weight loss toll testicles are! Yeah, guys do tend to lose more easily than gals owing to our normally higher muscle mass and metabolisms.

Seriously though, this does point up one of the benefits, and downsides, of WLS - that we can lose well that first year with almost any diet. 20-30 years ago patients were often advised to "just eat like always, just less..." and they lost very well. Of course, they didn't keep it off as they didn't learn how to eat for long term health and weight control. The good part is that one doesn't need to go on one of those fad diets that we often see promoted online (keto, paleo, Zone, etc.) and can work to develop or maintain good dietary habits for the long term; the bad part is that one can still eat crap and lose - for now.

Likewise, I like the idea that if he can't do it for himself, at least help you out and keep that junk out of the house.

[Matt Z 4,139]

That's a tough one. But it's shown over and over, if you don't change your habits you **WILL** rebound. Sounds like he's thinking he's got a magic wand... but he'll be the sad one when he ends up gaining weight back while you with your new habits have a much higher chance of keeping it off.

Have you asked him why he doesn't change his habits? Point him to all the "Failed" sleeves and how that failure is due to not changing those bad habits.

Good Luck, that's a tough situation, but... he's on the wrong side of things.

[allwet 868]

weight gain and loss is driven by hormones and men and women have a very different mix going on inside.

This will have an effect on the pace of weight loss. Nothing fair about it but you can't change biology.

If he keeps those bad habits it will bite his ass down the road with weight regain.