Perspectives on Losing Fast & Slow

[GreenTealael 25,330]

24 minutes ago, RHCD said:

There’s being positive and forcing yourself to be positive. I’m 7 weeks out from my sleeve surgery and I have no idea where I’m at on the fast/slow continuum. I find if I’m comparing myself to others it starts devolving into some really unhealthy places for me. Doesn’t mean I haven’t found myself down that path.

And that turned into way more of a lecture than I’d planned.

I’m hoping to get some good guidance in my 8 week check up next week. My goal isn’t to be super fast but I also don’t want to be super slow. I’m already having a heck of a time dressing myself at my current speed.

Hearing other’s journeys is so helpful!

I definitely think that there's a pressure to be a poster child of positive attitude. Always have positive affirmations and outlooks, reminding each other of all of the great things that will come from the change but sometimes it's a little tiring and real life has changing tides... So I was looking for people who maybe understood how I felt and I could lean on their collective knowledge (not compare) until I could see my forest past the trees

Edited June 13, 2018 by Tealael

[Editor57 11]

Weight loss has always been an incredibly slow process for me and I have been disappointed this hasn't been faster. But as long as it keeps going down, I'm OK. And I did say to my surgeon, "What are you going to say to me when this doesn't work?" and he laughed, turned to his PA and said, "Have you ever seen this NOT work?" The agreed no, they hadn't, so I just set my mind to keeping my eye on the goal and accepting the small victories. I had to work hard to remind myself it's not all about the scale. It's smaller pants, another notch on a belt, a wolf-whistle in the parking lot (my co-workers think they are very funny, LOL), somebody not recognizing me in the grocery store, shoes no longer being tight ... plus big things like less orthopedic pain, sleep apnea that has nearly resolved itself, etc. I lost 30 pounds before my surgery in December on the liver-shrink diet and am down about 55 more since the surgery. I started this whole process last June and the way I look at it ... if I hadn't, I'd be 85 pounds heavier, probably more, and barely able to walk. Tonight I'm going to a baseball game for the first time in three years. So I'll take slow over nothing!

[nenes78 528]

I want the weight to fall off faster, but remind myself i didn't put it on overnight either.

I am very happy that I now exercise and actually enjoy it. I didn't go one evening and actually threw myself off and felt off. I hated walking and can now do a 15 minute mile, am slowly introducing jogging and hope to do my first 5K this fall (i know I can walk it but i want to run). I'm off all my diabetic meds and no more back pain. I'm down 54 ponds since surgery and 105 since my heavyist, I am 3 months out. I hated vegetables my whole life and learned what I was missing during my pro-op program (Kaiser Options) and quite enjoy them now and have learned there are many ways to prepare them besides boiled/steamed (what I grew up with).

What has been fun is actually going to the movie theater and sitting comfortably in the seats, or sitting in a chair anywhere and not having the fear of snapping it. It's been a fun ride this far and still looking forward to the rest of it.

[Neversaynever 268]

I am sightly disappointed about my slow weight loss. I am a month out and have lost about 22lbs so far since surgery but 41 since I actually started the process.

What isn't disappointing though is all the benefits I have received since losing that 41lbs. I recently went to Greece to recuperate from the surgery for 11 days and I immediately noticed lots of things that put a smile on my face. The seats on the airplane were nowhere near as tight, I was able to turn over on the sunbeds without problems, this used to be such a struggle for me. I was able to lay on my back on a sunbed without automatically feeling that tightness in my throat that made me aware that if I fell asleep on the bed I would snore, huge difference!

Walking for miles when before I could literally walk half a mile and then have to lean on something to stop the backache. I might be losing slow but I really don't care, the improvement this surgery has already given me is enough compensation.

[ShelterDog64 2,364]

On 6/12/2018 at 5:09 PM, Tealael said:

I'm glad everyone has been willing to be honest about how they feel, sometimes I struggle with the pressure to always be positive

This just makes my heart hurt. You need to be able to vent your frustrations and negativities in this space as well as in your 'real' life. This surgery thing is HARD. Yes, in some ways it's easier than doing the diet and exercise thing again, only to regain, but in other ways it's the hardest thing EVER. I am very, very lucky in that I have an amazing support system, and I've needed them at many points during the last 2 years. I got frustrated and quit posting here a while back, but reading this makes me realize the debt that us 'vets' owe to our support groups.
So, to answer your original question, I had a pretty clear goal in my mind and always looked at the goal as something that I absolutely could attain. Some days when I'd get on the scale and it would be the same as the day before...that was defeating but I truly believed in the surgery and in the plan I was following. So I'd give myself a little pity party then get back to it...and I exceeded my goal within a year. I've had my plastic surgeries and I don't feel like a WLS patient anymore, I feel like a normal, thin-ish woman who eats small amounts at a time and doesn't feel self-conscious when I go out.
Again, this is HARD. I don't think there's any way to adequately prepare ourselves for the crap, mental and physical, that's coming in that first year post-op. The hormonal changes, dealing with our personal relationship with food, accepting all the praise from everyone who sees us (this was the hardest for me...it got to where when someone would say 'Oh my gosh, you LOOK GREAT' I'd think 'damn, I must have looked BAD'), the saggy skin and being dehydrated and constipated or the opposite...it's just a long, complicated slog. But I can tell you that after a couple of years, it CAN be awesome! Yes, I still need to log my food, avoid carbs, exercise and be aware of my old habits, but it's easier and more routine every day Message me when you hit 2 years out...I want to know where you are and how you feel!

[TakingABreak 2,733]

7 hours ago, Alison Murray said:

I am sightly disappointed about my slow weight loss. I am a month out and have lost about 22lbs so far since surgery but 41 since I actually started the process.

What isn't disappointing though is all the benefits I have received since losing that 41lbs. I recently went to Greece to recuperate from the surgery for 11 days and I immediately noticed lots of things that put a smile on my face. The seats on the airplane were nowhere near as tight, I was able to turn over on the sunbeds without problems, this used to be such a struggle for me. I was able to lay on my back on a sunbed without automatically feeling that tightness in my throat that made me aware that if I fell asleep on the bed I would snore, huge difference!

Walking for miles when before I could literally walk half a mile and then have to lean on something to stop the backache. I might be losing slow but I really don't care, the improvement this surgery has already given me is enough compensation.

Have you been measuring inches? If you aren't I would start now. You may be one that has a lot of inches lost before pounds down. Good luck! Xox

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

I am truly a slow loser and not happy about it at all, it sucks. It's depressing. I can't quit but often think goal is just so far far away at this pace that it won't happen. I stalled for over 3 months, then lost 6 pounds and now stalled again it seems. Is this a pattern? Heck i hope not. My anxiety then gets the best of me and I am just a puddle. I get up and start a new day - over and over. It beats going backwards, but it still sucks.

[Sleeved36 356]

I totally get the pretending to be positive thing, some days just suck. A stall makes me think why bother with all this work if I am just going to stay fat? I know 6 months from now I will be smaller, but it is an emotional roller coaster at times.

I have set a lot of mini goals on the way down. It has helped me be better with every little pound lost.

HW/SW: 268 sleeved 5/9

Goal 1: under 250, that officially puts me under the weight limit for lots of stuff I use anyway; ladder, dining room chairs, lawn chairs, kayak.

Goal 2: lose the equlivilant of my almost 2yr old (30lbs)

Goal 3: lose equlivilant of my 4yr old (40lbs)

Goal 4: ONEDERLAND!

You get the idea, don't want to make this the longest post ever.

Current weight: 246 and in a stall 😣

[Frustr8 7,886]

Think of a stall, Folks. as your body rebooting. Every so often it takes a moment or so,to try to get itself in balance and then when it relaxes a little more weight comes off. Remember it was,happy when you were obese. It is just that you and your bariatric surgeon didn't agree!😧

[Hannah83 214]

On 6/5/2018 at 8:41 AM, LaLaDee said:

I just want to get off it so badly. I hate the stuff. I cannot stop eating. I snack all day which doesn't exactly help the weight loss! I'm also bloated and moody AF. It's really charming.

Oh sister sue, I totally hear you! Ugh with the moodiness...I've not had a 'honeymoon' phase but a hellish mood phase that has been harder than the physical recovery. Depression has been a female dog to deal with, medications not absorbing finally they have started to absorb better than before. I had my sleeve on Oct 31, 2017, and I'm down 65'ish pounds. I'm on a ton of meds so that might be the reason for the slower loss. But on the upside I do like the gradual loss, it, as you stated, gets the things we learned cemented into place. I'm about 2 pounds a week, not counting more inches I've been losing is a better indicator as well as progress pictures...We are all different, and with that in mind I pat myself on the back and keep on trucking.

[AllyJonesVSG 184]

I had a one-week, maybe 10 day stall of being stuck at the same number. Then I went out of town unexpectedly from Sat. morning to Monday afternoon, had to eat out every meal, came home and the scale says I'm 3 lbs. down! I guess I'm going to quit worrying about stalls and just get on with life. Signed up for my first-ever yoga class later today! I'm so excited!

[Apple203 1,314]

I'm evidently a slow loser, and its frustrating. So I rationalize that if I can lose even 3 pounds a month for the next 9 months, I'll be 160 pounds at the one year mark, and that is a respectable weight for a 54 year old woman. On a positive note, like others have reported, I'm in normal size clothes, it doesnt hurt when I walk, I joined a gym, my sleep apnea is better, etc, already.

[Kat410 423]

I have been following this thread and it's been great to get perspective on other peoples' experiences.

I considered myself a pretty fast loser (you can see the monthly results in my sig below) and I am tall and did start with a lot to lose. In addition, I had decent functional strength and while I would not have called myself active, I wasn't completely sedentary either so there were a couple of things in my favor.

In addition, I have never struggled to lose weight - what I had struggled with was some "wall" I would hit after losing about 50 lbs (which I can only describe as an unbelievably intense obsessive physical hunger) that was no doubt hormonally driven, but I never could get myself past whatever that wall was.

So all that said, there is a benefit to fast loss and a lot of it just plain on psychology and the experience of a 'reward' for the work being done.

Now I am averaging about 1 lb/week (which while I know that's reasonable as I get closer to my goal), it does *feel like* I am stalling and not losing at all. The only thing that keeps me straight about this is tracking my weight weekly.

The game of long-term weight loss takes some mental discipline. I do agree with what others say that it's helpful to not just go by the scale, but also include other measurements regarding body composition (waist to hip ratio and other measurements, DEXA scans if you want to pay.)

Truthfully, now that I am almost at my first goal of 175, I have set a second goal of 165 (which puts me in a normal BMI - and it would be good to have a 10-15 lb bounce-back cushion). It is taking more work to lose these pounds and they are coming off a lot slower - but I am immensely grateful for the honeymoon phase and quick weight loss to keep me motivated and for all those slow losers out there - YOU ARE MY FREAKING HERO!!!!!!!!

[Editor57 11]

To follow up on my comment from June 13. Two days later I saw my surgeon, whom I love, but who can be pretty tough. I'm down a total of 93 pounds from when I first walked into his office in June 2017. My BP was at a level not seen since I was in college (I'm nearly 61 now). My already good cholesterol had dropped another 30 points. When I said that I was pleased, but thought it would move faster, the surgeon actually pointed at a chart on the wall and said, "We're not here to you can get to some number on that chart. We're here to you FEEL BETTER." And then, for maybe the first time ever, I heard these words from him: "I'm very pleased. Very pleased." Couldn't have been a bigger boost to helping me realizing that I'm working it correctly, sometimes it's a slow process and losing ANYTHING is better than standing still or worse, gaining. I mentioned a baseball game in my last post. I went, walked from the car to the ballpark and went up and down the stairs to the seats. I FIT in the seat and had legroom. I'm going to another game next week. It was amazing. So to everyone who is frustrated about the slow loss or the stalling. Hang in there. It works. Most important, it's WORTH it.

[Travelher 915]

it isn't how fast you get there it is where you end up. in my experience 99.9% of people who think they are slow losers are fast losers. I can probably count on my hands in the thousands of disappointed posts how many I would actually describe as slow losers. I considered myself a normal rate loser (not slow, not super fast). I'd wager most people who stress about their rate of loss lost at the same rate or faster than me.

it is all a matter of perspective. People need to stop looking for things to critique about themselves. you will always look for and find someone faster and there will always be people slower.

One thing I can say about my weight loss, is that I didn't do it on starvation calories and I lost 100% fat and gained muscle along the way according to my dexa scans. That is almost unheard of. Many bariatric patients I know lost at a rate of almost a pound of muscle for every pound of fat...that is not good. If you are losing 25 lbs a month and 12 of that is fat and 13lbs is muscle. and I lose 12 lbs but 13 is fat and I gained a pound of muscle. who is doing better at the end of the day....I am. This is why it is not useful or healthy to compare numbers on a scale with others.

Could not recommend dexa scans more highly...it gives the most accurate picture of progress.