judgemental people......

[candy8360 0]

I have gotten a mixed response. Most of the people closest to me have told me how proud they are of my decision and have been very supportive. But I have a few who say, "Can't you just stop eating so much?" and, "You lost weight before, can't you do it again?" Obviously NOT. I did lose quite a bit a couple of years ago with a weight loss supplement, but as soon as my body got used to it I gained it all back and more. I also got some of the response that I didn't look like I needed it, but the scales don't lie. I am very excited about my upcoming surgery and I let all the negativeness just go in one ear and out the other. I know I'm doing what is best for me and that's all that matters! GOOD LUCK.

[FDATrialGuineaPig 7]

I loved it when people challenged my decision!!! It just reinforced me and made me all the more determined.

Especially after I wore them down...

[Paulax 8]

I believe it was another online and wise friend, eddieparks, who basically said, never mind....YOU will get the last laugh.

[StLouisGal 1]

The comments I love are the ones from thin folks who don't have a clue what the surgery entails who have suggested to me that I need it. They seem to think it is an easy way out and can be accomplished in a weekend. Some TV personality or the other had it so they think I should too. Needless to say I have not told them I am even considering surgery. I have only told the people I work with. They are extremely supportive of me and whatever I want to do and have accepted me as I am without condition. A few are a little sceptical that I really need it but are willing to support me because it is what I want. My DH and (grown) kids are on board with me too and just want me to be healthy and happy.

The people who seem to feel that I will have more value as a thin person don't deserve to have any say in my life. Since most of them are family I can't cut myself off from them but I sure don't have to let them beat my self esteme (sp) up either. I haven't told them and don't plan to until they start worrying that I am sick because I am losing so much weight.

Sorry for the long rant but sometimes you just have to tell it like it is.

[transformer 1]

I know just what you mean. I've hardly told anyone I had this done mainly because I don't want their negativity to drag me down! It's my band, so it's my business. Besides, no one can see the darn thing anyway. When people mention I've lost weight, I just say it's due to diet and exercise!

I might tell my siblings about it at Christmas this year--I haven't seen them for a year because they don't live nearby. We'll see!

[brispenny31 0]

I can't believe some of the things that so called family and friends have said to you guys. I know that when I decided to have my op nothing was going to change my mind. I had one sister ask questions and was really interested and I thought that was great, since my op she doesn't say much and seems to be a little jealous. My other sister just said 'what ever works for you, good luck' it was more what she didn't say that I picked up all the doubt. Now my brother was so negative about the whole thing in the sense that he actually believes its going to be just another wl effort that I'm going to fail at. I couldn't believe it, my brother and I are closest and I expected more support from him. Mum believes in me, and Dad has doubts but hopes for the best for me. As far as friends go I had mixed reactions, but there was one person that told me about a bad story she'd heard and told me she really didn't think I should get it done, but she struggles with her weight and I know she said those things out of jealousy, thank god she's not someone I see often, but when I loose a lot I'll be sure to go see her. DH is the best support I could ask for. And my 4 year old son is also my biggest support.:kiss2:

[jeanamite 0]

I'm shocked as I read what some of you have gone through with reactions. I haven't experienced that at all and I'm so thankful. I've told a gazillion people and all have been excited for me and very encouraging. I would have to say that the negative reactions are due to an ignorance of not knowing what weight loss surgery is about, both medically and personally. Maybe I've done a good job in educating those I've told. Sometimes I think I tell too much but I want people to understand.

[wombat712 2]

Most of my family have been supportive. My hubby is the best I just want him to stop policing my food!

My twin sister is starting to get a little jealous. She has always been the smaller one. Mom asked her this weekend at what point would I be smaller than her and she said never. That she was going to start losing weight. HA!! 20#'s little chica and I will be where she's at!!! And it's killing her!!!!!!!

[willirj 0]

I know how you feel. I told a couple of my good friends this weekend and all I heard was how dangerous it was. I understand the concern, but told them it was actually no worse than getting my galbladder out. The subject was dropped real quick, I could tell they(at least one) did not approve. Perhaps her and I will sit down and really talk about it soon! My husband is behind me 100%, at this point, that is what matters the most.

[candy8360 0]

It is funny how everybody knows 'what's best for you'. I really don't think the surgery is that invasive or dangerous albeit that any surgery has risks. I had a few friends and co workers who were negative, but my family is VERY supportive.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

i hate it when i mention my decision to undergo weight loss surgery and people make that face and go "ooooohh". like i said i have some airborne disease or something. why are people so against it? we are njot doing it because we enjoy being fat, its just we need help to get healthy, right! i know thats my reason. im 24 and i don't wanna loive the next 24 huge! gggrrrr.....sorry about the rant. im ok now!

There is a big difference that I have noticed. When I told people before I lost weight they just kinda eyed me up and down and looked down their nose at me. Most didn't, but a few did. You could see the expression on their face or the tone of their voice changed. But now I'm smaller than most of the judgmental people so when I say I had WLS they ask me questions. It's as though they are shocked that it actually worked. I think most are used the the reputation of bypass and they assume all surgery types are the same.

I am ALWAYS asked how I feel, they are shocked that I feel great. I am ALWAYS asked when I had surgery, I think they expected it to be 20 years ago in order to be at goal. They are usually surprised that I'm not dying.

Only other fat people ask how much I've lost and I don't mind because I know why they are asking.

[Skinny_Jill 36]

I've only had one negative comment and that was from a friend that we call our "Drama Queen". She said "You know you could die from that surgery." I got one of those friend-of-a-friend stories where someone died on the operating table. Not true at all. It turns out the woman had LBS and died several years later from totally unrelated health issues.

We are doing this for us and shouldn't matter what others say or think.

[barbaratoo 0]

your young and you have a great future ahead DONT LET ANY ONE GET IN YOUR WAY,if its easer dont say anything to any one ,,good luckand i wish you all the luck in the world you.ll start feeling better and better as my dauthers say to me ( yougo girl)barbara

[candy8360 0]

It's easy for people to sit back and tell you what to do, but if it were actually them and their choices, they would be just as steadfast in something they wanted. This is a wonderful opportunity for each one of us. There are many factors that have led up to us being overweight, but we have a chance now to start over again and make a difference in our health, our appearance, and our self esteem. We are all making positive changes that will only be helpful to us in the longrun.

[Kissmygrits 0]

I too have had very negative comments about the surgery, mostly by overweight people in my family. I've had to come to the realization that a lot of this has to with THEM and not ME. I think they feel a little defensive, as if my decision to have the surgery is passing judgment on their weight. Really, I could care less about their weight (everyone is entitled to their own choices). This is only about me and my strong belief that I will use every tool at my disposal to accomplish my goal. Thankfully, I have friends (some of whom have had the band) who are very encouraging and are my support network.

Obviously, none of us would make the decision to resort to surgery lightly or without trying a million other options beforehand. It still burns me up for some idiot/relative of mine (whom I love dearly) to ask or tell me to just diet and exercise. DUH!! It's annoying that they can't (or choose not to) understand that my food issues go way beyond just "diet and exercise".