To tell coworkers or not?

[sillykitty 10,774]

26 minutes ago, Screwballski said:

I’ve been through this twice.
Over a decade ago I had LapBand surgery. I was completely transparent. No secrets. I had no clue how many opinions, judgements and lectures I’d receive. I also found a lot of support. But, had I known, I sure would have done it differently!
This time, for my revision, it’s was on a need to know basis. And, even though my band caused an injury and my port was painfully flipped, I caught some grief. 🙂🤷‍♀️

I agree with the need to know basis, but does anyone at work really need to know? I told my boss I was having minor abdominal surgery. I assure him I was 100% fine, and he had nothing to worry about. And IMO that is the most anyone at work needed to know.

i have also found in general people have not handled the information I have given out as I had hoped and expected them to. I have had friends share this information with others. Most meant no harm, but for one it was pure gossiping which was hurtful. And my sister actually snuck into a conversation last week that I had taken the easy way out

So from my own experience and from what I’ve read on these boards, there is often more regret in telling than from withholding information about your surgery.

[Screwballski 540]

Silly kitty, I absolutely agree! “Minor abdominal surgery” are the exact words I used to anyone who needed to know I was going in hospital but to whom I did not wish to divulge info.

[Frustr8 7,886]

And if they come to the conclusion you're having your entire abdomen tatooed with a map of the world🌏, let them live with their gossipy poor conclusions. it's really none of their business!💚😛💙

[Chunkysoup 75]

I plan to keep it from as many people as possible. I have told 3 people, my husband, my mom, and my sister and that was out of pure necessity as I needed help from all of them either for financing (husband) or child care. The information was not very well received. Nobody is "happy" for me. They all pretty much think it is an unnecessary risk "when I could just work out and eat right." This probably sounds terrible but if I could have kept it from my husband I would have. Unfortunately I couldn't because I had to finance the surgery so he would have found out! He even said to me, "But you won't get to to take credit for the weight loss, you're going to have to tell everybody that you had surgery". I said, I don't have to tell anybody anything and if I do decide to tell people then their opinion on whether I get to take credit for it or not doesn't matter to me. My husband has been the least supportive which is really discouraging. From what he has said to me it sounds like he doesn't want the changes I will be going through to affect HIS life. So because the people that are literally closest to me didn't have very good reactions it has really turned me off to telling anyone else. I won't have to tell my boss anything at all because I am utilizing time off that I had already requested.

[brookie 89]

im lucky that i wk w/ a lot of wonderful people & most i consider good friends & i also have some great clients that i have known for yrs.i was able to tell everyone & got nothing but luv,support,& praise.it helps motivate me to see their reactions the next time i see them.i think it is therapeutic to talk about it & i like educating everyone on how hard it is & everything we have to keep up w/& monitor & definitely not the “easy way out”.

[CCTXWIFE 8]

Husband didn’t tell coworkers nor any of our families. He doesn’t need any criticism right now. He needs all the support he can get and this is where y’all all come in lol If he chooses to tell them later on that’s his choice. Good luck everyone and I know y’all all will do good!

[Brittanyerin316 1]

I chose to only tell a very close friend, my husband, some family and my boss. I work in a somewhat catty office environment and I didn’t want to hear any negativity or unwanted opinions. I felt that if I am choosing to not be 100% honest and open with everyone, then I want to be 100% private about my decision. I’m 5 days post op and several co-workers think that I’m taking an extended vacation for personal reasons. A few have asked why I’ll be out or if something is wrong, I assure them I am fine and just have some things to take care of. It has actually been kind of fun knowing the journey I’m on and that only those people that matter most to me know about it! You will figure out what is best for you and your situation. Good luck!

[MississippiQueen 48]

Don't tell! I've found far more people are judgmental than supportive and I would guess alot of that comes from jealousy or ignorance. Also, when people know you've had surgery they expect you to fail and you'll be forever judged by your size. It's just not worth it. 🤐

Sent from my SM-G950U using BariatricPal mobile app

[BurBur 113]

I wish I hadn't told anyone. Prior to surgery I told close friends at work and one of them let it slip by mistake. Everyone knew within a week. At first I ran into overwhelmingly positive people, but then the few who seemed to know better about it all were warning me against it, telling me it was dangerous, telling me I "should" do this on my own. Those were very unwelcome opinions. The very worst comment came a few weeks ago. I have been having trouble with a stricture in my stomach and its been a gambit of unfun experiences still happening. One of those people said to me, "See, I told you so."

My husband told his family even after I asked him not too. I was so upset to find out he did this :/. I had to be forgiving, but that was hard for me.

Good luck with your choice.

[RHCD 241]

I let close coworkers know. Not my direct manager but a different manager on a different team that I have a good relationship with. I’m not shy about it if asked but I’m also not telling everyone. It became pretty obvious I was doing something when I stopped participating in the free food/potlucks/ activities we have fairly frequently. That and you can tell something Has changed for me based on what I’ve lost. Surprisingly everyone has been supportive. Now as to telling family....

[Pisces2j7 9]

I didn’t know if I wanted co-workers to know, but I chose to tell them and it was a weight lifted. They knew I was having surgery, but it is more exhausting and awkward trying to talk around the surgery then just being upfront. I feel that you should do what you’re comfortable with, but I am a private person I feel proud taking control of my health. If people talk or judge, so be it. This is your life, choice to have surgery and ultimately your decision who you want to know!

[abefroman329 704]

I only tell people who ask. Why lie? One of my team members that I've been working with for four years asked me late last week, and it turns out she had gastric bypass several years ago and lost 125 pounds. I had no idea, I thought she just naturally ate like a bird! We had a nice conversation.

[kamilton619 0]

I am a manager and was very apprehensive about sharing my WLS with too many people. After I did my first week of pre op diet I decided to share it with staff. They were all so supportive of the decision that I was making! I also decided to share this information with the other managers that I work with and I’ve had nothing but positive responses. I think the thing that changed my mind about sharing this information with my staff and coworkers was that I didn’t want to seem like I was trying to hide anything. It isn’t any of their business regardless, but I didn’t want them to feel like I was ashamed of making the decision that I did because I’m not. If they would have had negative thoughts then that’s their opinion to have, but it wasn’t going to change my thoughts or feelings about the surgery. I fully accept that WLS is the tool that I need to live a healthier lifestyle than what I was living prior to the surgery!

[FancyChristine15 810]

I told all of my coworkers and everyone has been really supportive. It's up to you though.

[wowerinreally 22]

I initially planned to share my WLS plans with close friends and family. Then as I began to tell people, one person took it upon themselves to tell several other people that were only acquaintances. As the surgery date got closer, i dropped weight on the pre-op diet. I stopped going out to lunch with coworkers, I was training someone to take over for me...it was obvious. A few days before surgery it dawned on me that my weight struggles had already been on display my entire life. What was different now? I knew people would wonder why I was off of work and might genuinely be concerned to not see me. I figured I would receive lots of support and maybe an occasional “are you sure you need that?” And that’s what happened. I received overwhelming support and ONE person telling me I didn’t need it. It became such a relief to just tell everyone and feel proud. I’m proud that I’m actively changing my life for a better future. I’m very comfortable discussing it with others now.