Scared I won't be successful

[dreamingofasleeve 89]

Meeting with my surgeon Tuesday. I'm terrified I am going to go through all the motions of surgery and then I'm not going to be successful in loosing weight.

Anyone else have these fears?

I am at a 43 bmi and I'm just scared it's not going to work...

H 5' 2.5"

Cw 238

Gw 145

[Creekimp13 5,840]

I think nearly everyone has those fears.

You can increase your odds of success by working hard to be consistent with your diet and exercise, work to resolve existing health issues (including emotional/mental health), get good quality adequate sleep, and build a good support network.

Also, keep in mind that even if you don't get completely to goal....people who have weight loss surgery lose more weight and keep it off more permanently than people who do conventional diets. It really is your best shot and best odds for getting the best outcome and most health improvement longterm.

It's a great tool.

Best wishes, hoping you have great success:)

[Matt Z 4,139]

I'm confident that we all have that though, even if we never admit it. I mean, we have gotten to a point where we are talking about surgical intervention to help us with our already failing habits. So, it's 100% natural to have some doubts or be scared. But this is where you get to take the reigns and decide that you won't fail. Failing, is a choice. Failing is when we decide to give up. If you try and don't succeed, as long as you keep trying, you aren't actually failing, you are just figuring out what actually works for you.

So, decide that you won't fail. Choose to not give up this time. Choose to take any and all missteps as learning experiences and ONLY as learning experiences.

This is your time to mold yourself back into the image you wish.

You got this!

[dreamingofasleeve 89]

Yeah it is scary it's just a lot of time, money, pain, and emotion to go through. I have seen so many people have success and it makes me hopeful but that thought still lingers.
Thank you so much. You look like you are doing amazing!

[dreamingofasleeve 89]

I'm confident that we all have that though, even if we never admit it. I mean, we have gotten to a point where we are talking about surgical intervention to help us with our already failing habits. So, it's 100% natural to have some doubts or be scared. But this is where you get to take the reigns and decide that you won't fail. Failing, is a choice. Failing is when we decide to give up. If you try and don't succeed, as long as you keep trying, you aren't actually failing, you are just figuring out what actually works for you.
So, decide that you won't fail. Choose to not give up this time. Choose to take any and all missteps as learning experiences and ONLY as learning experiences.
This is your time to mold yourself back into the image you wish.
You got this!

Thank you so much! It makes me excited to see people succeeding. I know I can do it. I already know what works for me but this tool will be so hopefully in keeping me consistent and keeping the weightt off.
I love seeing everyone doing well.
You all are amazing!

[Matt Z 4,139]

2 minutes ago, dreamingofasleeve said:

Yeah it is scary it's just a lot of time, money, pain, and emotion to go through. I have seen so many people have success and it makes me hopeful but that thought still lingers.
Thank you so much. You look like you are doing amazing!

It is very scary. I won't even pretend like I didn't have countless nights wondering if I was doing the right thing. Not just for myself, but my family. Hell, I even went as far as to write out good byes to family members, just in case. I've felt like a failure for too long... I decided I wasn't going to let that happen again.

[dreamingofasleeve 89]

It is very scary. I won't even pretend like I didn't have countless nights wondering if I was doing the right thing. Not just for myself, but my family. Hell, I even went as far as to write out good byes to family members, just in case. I've felt like a failure for too long... I decided I wasn't going to let that happen again.

Yeah it is scary but it is also so exciting!
How far out are you from surgery?

[Matt Z 4,139]

3 minutes ago, dreamingofasleeve said:

Yeah it is scary but it is also so exciting!
How far out are you from surgery?

2 months and 4 days. (Don't let the total weight in the post box on the left fool you, that's total from when I had the band installed in 2011)

[dreamingofasleeve 89]

2 months and 4 days. (Don't let the total weight in the post box on the left fool you, that's total from when I had the band installed in 2011)

But that is still weight lost! Good job!

[GreenTealael 25,359]

I was sooo afraid it just wasnt going to work just for my set of circumstances. I would be in the percent that fail. I had a lot going on health wise , paniciking daily and i kind of jumped right in. I had to take a chill pill.

Trust your surgical team, commit to the process and you will do fine.

Edited May 25, 2018 by Tealael

[curvylady 49]

I agree, whether we say it or not, we all have a fear of failing. My best friend had sleeve surgery in 2016 and lost 100 pounds in 9 months. It completely transformed her life. We’ve had several discussions about this same subject and she has said to me very honestly that even though she sees her amazing success everyday, she still wonders if she will be successful There’s a lot of psychological and emotional factors involved with this HUGE choice. My husband and I decided to go on the journey together. He has cardiomyopathy and several ailments. By this Christmas his health was deteriorating fast and it was time to take drastic measures. Unfortunately our insurance didn’t pay for WLS but we were determined just the same and paid for it ourselves. We met with our surgeon for our initial consultation Jan 23. My husband was sleeved Apr 9 and my surgery was last week. My husband has lost 63 pounds already. It has been truly life changing. By the time it came time for my surgery I was absolutely convicted that it was the right choice for me. Five days post surgery I had already lost 9 pounds. It’s CRAZY! I’m confident that we will be successful and you will too. When I have doubts, I look at before and after photos and visualize my “new body”. Losing even 50 pounds is a major victory and if that’s where I land I’ll take it. Good luck to you and keep us updated on your journey.

[dreamingofasleeve 89]

I agree, whether we say it or not, we all have a fear of failing. My best friend had sleeve surgery in 2016 and lost 100 pounds in 9 months. It completely transformed her life. We’ve had several discussions about this same subject and she has said to me very honestly that even though she sees her amazing success everyday, she still wonders if she will be successful There’s a lot of psychological and emotional factors involved with this HUGE choice. My husband and I decided to go on the journey together. He has cardiomyopathy and several ailments. By this Christmas his health was deteriorating fast and it was time to take drastic measures. Unfortunately our insurance didn’t pay for WLS but we were determined just the same and paid for it ourselves. We met with our surgeon for our initial consultation Jan 23. My husband was sleeved Apr 9 and my surgery was last week. My husband has lost 63 pounds already. It has been truly life changing. By the time it came time for my surgery I was absolutely convicted that it was the right choice for me. Five days post surgery I had already lost 9 pounds. It’s CRAZY! I’m confident that we will be successful and you will too. When I have doubts, I look at before and after photos and visualize my “new body”. Losing even 50 pounds is a major victory and if that’s where I land I’ll take it. Good luck to you and keep us updated on your journey.

Amazing I am so glad your husband is doing well [emoji171] that is amazing to have someone to go through it with! It can be scary but I am so excited I have been chubby my whole life and a truly feel like this is the best decision for me.
My husband is a lucky duck and has been small his whole life. But that is ok he is amazing and super supportive with my decision.
I am still going through the pre reqs for insurance to pay for my surgery.
How have things been since you have had the surgery? I've never had surgery or been put under before so I am unsure what to expect!

[deltagirl93 79]

As others have said, these fears will come in. It certainly did for me as this was the second time around for me going from the band to SIPS. I lost on the band, but eventually gained back every pound and about 30 more lbs on top. You can imagine the fears that I had that this wasn't going to work either, but I had no choice as my daily quality of life was crap with breathing issues, constant back pain, acid reflux, high blood pressure, borderline diabetic and more!

Honestly, even after this surgery, I struggle with food every single day. Being just over three months out, I can tolerate everything. I no longer have adverse reactions to anything unless I stuff myself. Since that feeling is soooo uncomfortable, I don't override the full sensation when it hits.

While I don't always make perfect food choices, I do make much better choices which I take as a victory, and continuing to get better. I am also committed to exercise. It is helping me to stay on track, and it's the one thing that I have successfully and consistently executed on once I was ok'd by the doctor to ramp things up.

There are going to be good days and bad days, but definitely don't beat yourself up about it. Just keep starting over. I also maintain regular therapy visits to talk things out. I never believed in therapy until this process forced the required visit. However, it helped surface some of those things that causes the overeating which helps me to deal with the root cause. Once I got started, I kept going although it wasn't required to do so since I was self pay. I was self pay because I did not want go through 4-months of multiple and various appointments required by AETNA insurance.

I think as long as you commit to winning, even with the ups and downs, you will be fine. This journey won't have perfect execution, but you can still win.

[dreamingofasleeve 89]

As others have said, these fears will come in. It certainly did for me as this was the second time around for me going from the band to SIPS. I lost on the band, but eventually gained back every pound and about 30 more lbs on top. You can imagine the fears that I had that this wasn't going to work either, but I had no choice as my daily quality of life was crap with breathing issues, constant back pain, acid reflux, high blood pressure, borderline diabetic and more!
Honestly, even after this surgery, I struggle with food every single day. Being just over three months out, I can tolerate everything. I no longer have adverse reactions to anything unless I stuff myself. Since that feeling is soooo uncomfortable, I don't override the full sensation when it hits.
While I don't always make perfect food choices, I do make much better choices which I take as a victory, and continuing to get better. I am also committed to exercise. It is helping me to stay on track, and it's the one thing that I have successfully and consistently executed on once I was ok'd by the doctor to ramp things up.
There are going to be good days and bad days, but definitely don't beat yourself up about it. Just keep starting over. I also maintain regular therapy visits to talk things out. I never believed in therapy until this process forced the required visit. However, it helped surface some of those things that causes the overeating which helps me to deal with the root cause. Once I got started, I kept going although it wasn't required to do so since I was self pay. I was self pay because I did not want go through 4-months of multiple and various appointments required by AETNA insurance.
I think as long as you commit to winning, even with the ups and downs, you will be fine. This journey won't have perfect execution, but you can still win.

I am so happy to hear you are doing well. Although you can tolerate everything I am sure the portion is much much different than what it used to be.
I've never had therapy but I am sure I can totally use it haha. Can't we all?
Yeah the insurance process is pretty grueling but I am getting there!
Thanks for your kind words. I agree I know what I need to do and seeing so much success and positivity makes me feel like I am making the right decision. Keep Rocking it! It sounds like you are doing awesome so far!

[curvylady 49]

3 hours ago, dreamingofasleeve said:

Amazing I am so glad your husband is doing well that is amazing to have someone to go through it with! It can be scary but I am so excited I have been chubby my whole life and a truly feel like this is the best decision for me.
My husband is a lucky duck and has been small his whole life. But that is ok he is amazing and super supportive with my decision.
I am still going through the pre reqs for insurance to pay for my surgery.
How have things been since you have had the surgery? I've never had surgery or been put under before so I am unsure what to expect!

Yep, I’m with you there too as I had never had surgery before last week. To be honest the first 48 hours were rough. I couldn’t even keep down a sip of Water. The nurses went through every anti nausea medicine until we came up with Carafate (? spelling) which is medication used for people with ulcers. It costs your stomach. Needless to say I came home with an entire bottle. Getting home to your own bed makes all the difference in the world. I still had to walk every 4 hours (bathroom and back) but no one took my vitals every 2 hours so it was uninterrupted. I’m 11 days post op and doing well. Incision pain, some internal pain but mostly I have pain when eating (feels like your stomach is being violently squeezed). I feel like this happens when I’m not eating purely soft foods. Cottage cheese and eggs are pretty much pain free but are getting boring. My fall back is canned chicken, light mayo and copper sweet pickles.